Hello this may sound irrational and ridiculous but after convincing myself my breast lump wasn’t cancer when it turned out it was I no longer trust my own judgement at all.
I was diagnosed er+ 15mm tumour last oct, after a successful WLE and confirmation of no spread tô lymph nodes I had rads which finished last week and am on tamoxifen. So I should be happy that it is all finished with but I feel very much an anti climax and quite low. I was told by my counsellor this was normal post treatment. Anyway my biggest issue is constant anxiety about my health and any ailment or symptom sends me into a panic that something was missed and it actually has spread all over my body…my asthma which I’ve not had for years flared up at the beginning of my radiotherapy, I was told by the rads staff it had nothing to do with it, and today I went back to my gp about the astma and he referred me for an X-ray so now I’m pânicing I have lung cancer! Is there any chance this could be the case? Rebecca x
hi Rebecca,
I was also convinced my lump wasn’t cancer on being recalled from screening. So much so, that I wasn’t even unduly worried when waiting for the biopsy results!
What you describe does seem to quite common, I deal with it by focusing on the fact that like you, I had good margins & clear nodes. I’ve just had my first year review & all clear, can’t believe a year has gone by.
Inevitably, having the xray brings it all back, but with no evidence of spread, there’s no reason why there should be a problem.
ann x
I really relate to that. Wasn’t especially anxious during the diagnostics, felt glad my lump was small - 1.4 cm and no lymph nodes,- so sailed through WLE and SLNB and finished rads 5 weeks ago. Like you, after rads I felt a sense of - “OK, so what now?” And sort of “flat” instead of the elation I expected. The onc that I saw for a follow-up said it is really common to feel like that and it passes, and it is beginning to, but “the small red patch on my arm looks as though it could be skin cancer…or did I injure it gardening?”
I know it is irrational but I reckon we will be checking ourselves for any odd signs and symptoms for a long time to come - (and if the red patch doesn’t disappear I will be bothering my GP!!) I guess it is all part of the recovery process but I’m glad it is “normal” to feel a bit flat after treatment ends, as I was feeling guilty for seeming ungrateful after having had such an easy ride of it compared to so many people on here. I keep telling myself that my odds of further problems are better than most as I will be monitored yearly now, and anyway, there is always the chance of being run over by a bus, same as everyone else. So just accept how you are right now, knowing it will get better in due course. xxx
Thank you for your comments. I feel a bit better now I’ve had the weekend to calmage. The asthma comes and goes and as far as I know asthma is not a symptom of lung cancer anyway! Ann you are right it was the being referred for x ray that brought all the feelings of fear back to the surface I am going to try not to think about it now. X