Continually on my mind!

Hi lovely ladies. .can I ask…does this tend to get easier as time goes by?? I’m 2 months past mastectomy and reconstruction and I would like to feel normal now and then…constantly thinkin about the future etc…it wares me out…Rachael

Hi Rachael

It does get easier, truly. You are only 2 months on from major surgery and you will still be raw in more ways than one. One day you will suddenly notice that you haven’t thought about cancer for a whole day, and then sometimes 2 days…It is such a process - there is no one single thing that you suddenly feel “normal”,  but “normal” just sort of creeps up on you. I’m 8 months on from lumpectomy, rads etc, (so not such big surgery as you had) and even now, having already had 2 holidays since surgery,I  was recently planning one for next year and suddenly though “Hmm - assuming my annual check in November is OK…” then I thought "S*d it, can’t live whole life like this, so went ahead and booked it anyway.So inevitably we will think about it from time to time, and will have the odd worry, but  you won’t feel like you do right now for ever, honest. xxxxx

Thankyou hun…I’m worse on some days than others…yesterday was spent mainly crying! Think I’m still in shock half of the time…thankyou for those words of encouragement…have you changed your diet in any way?



I absolutely promise you it does get better. 


I am the same as Optimissy, lumpectomy, rads and hormone tablets, nowhere near what you have been through, and coming up to 12 months since I was diagnosed.  I would say 99% of the time I am ok but sometimes it catches me out, however only for a very short time and then I am ok again back to my normal me, including being really stroppy with incompetent binmen like today :slight_smile: :slight_smile:


Helena xxx

Tbh hun I was eating so healthy on lead up to diagnosis. I need get back on it. Just been so difficult because of my anxiety etc. I feel it’s not a very nice existence at all the moment…sorry sound a bit down hub. .I know it will get a bit better xx

Hi hun. .yes I’m trying to just eat as healthy as possible…that’s when my fear and anxiety doesn’t take over me. .just want to put it to back of my head for a bit. I had large lobular 6.5 cm, node neg.Has low onco test so now no chemo just hormone tablets. .so much of me feels all of the time…how can it be low risk with larhe tumour? …I prob over think all of the time. .just really scared I think xx

Hi Rachy,


You are obviously worried about the size issue but if you had clear margins and no node involvement then that’s hugely positive. I had a 4cm lobular with one node affected so it was chemo for me. Despite my 4cm tumor they decided I didn’t need radiotherapy which I too worried about for a while (I had a mx with recon) but you have to put your faith in the medics. They have so much experience to draw on when devising a treatment plan for you but would not want to give you unnecessary treatment if it’s not warranted. 


As others have said, it will get better over time. This time two years ago I was just home from hospital after the worst August bank holiday weekend of my life. Now, as the others say, I seldom think about it. 


Do you live near a Maggie’s centre of a branch of The Haven? Both offer counselling which I found really helpful when I finished treatment. Or your BCN might be able to recommend someone. 


Hang on in there. 


Ruth xx

Hi Rachel, after 2 WLE’s and rDiotherapy i went back to work 4 weeks later feeling fine. 3 weeks sfter thst everything hit me and i was an emotional wreck. My colleague who is 3 years down the line told me she was just waiting for it to happen to me!! I think initial feelings are relief then reality kicks in!! Phone your BCN and tell her how you are feeling. Get some reassurance and access the counselling that is available too. Hope you feel better soon xxx

Thankyou so much Ruth,it Def is the size that I can’t seem to move forward from…I had an onco test done that came back low risk of recurrence. How long didit take for you to start and not think so much about it hun? Did they give you a good outlook? Xx

Thanks Ali for the suppport. .you and all of the other ladies on here are all brill. .dont know what I’d do without you all!..I’m gonna see my gP tomorrow. .someone recommended alpranex for anxiety xx

Hi there,


It’s so good that the Oncotest came back with such a positive outcome for you. They don’t do this in my health authority so I just had to go along with the chemo recommendation. To be honest I didn’t hesitate to go with what they suggested. 


As for recovery time, well, I think I knew all along that coming to the end of treatment would be a potential crisis point for me. We are in a bit of a bubble of diagnosis and treatment for so long aren’t we that we don’t have that much time to think about the future while we are going through it all. Once it comes to an end and we have fewer appointments I think we all feel a bit less protected and the bad throughts start to come in. I had a bit of a wobble at the end of treatment but the counselling really helped. I too take a mild antidepresant which has worked wonders. Don’t be afraid to ask for help as it’s out there.


What you are going through now is totally normal. I’d liken it to post-traumatic stress disorder. I’ve said this several times recently on here but honestly I am a much happier person now I’ve got through it all. I no longer sweat the small stuff. This will be you before too long I am sure. 


Ruth xx


Than you again Ruth…I’ve made an appointment to see GP today hun…I need to get over the fact that everything in my life was going so well before all of this…new career …loving life with my younger man at. .why do I feel like it’s now on count down till it eventually comes back!..sorry…there are so many brave and positive ladies on here , I feel stupid… my Bc nurse said she thought that the risk of it coming back for me is neglegable. .but I feel she prob bring over optomostic as she knows of my anxiety x

Hi Jencat,

Hope it all went well for you today and the way forward is clear.

Ruth xx

Hi Jencat,


I’ve actually seen the thread you started about your appointment now since posting this. Sorry to hear it was distressing but good on you that you managed to talk to your oncologist so openly today.


You have had some great advice from the other gals about statistics and I’ve nothing else to add to that because I agree with it all. Sometimes these health professionals, wonderful though they are, are not the best at communication. 


Sending you a big cyberhug.


Ruth xx