Coping with COVID safety and family help - or lack of

 I feel at my wits end. I was diagnosed just before Christmas with weakly hormone positive /her2 positive breast cancer, for various reasons picked up very late and very large but not spread anywhere further as far as scans have shown. But I am worried that I will be an early progression to metastatic disease. . So - it’s been a huge shock I’ve had 3 rounds of chemo so far with a few ups and downs but all ok overall. My problem is that the 2 years before that were so difficult wit( COVID - l was very anxious about catching it / my husband catching it as he has risk factors which now seem tiny in comparison to what’s happening with BC! . Prior to that we had a couple of years of f8nancial difficulties. Everything has just felt really tough for a long time and now this. I now feel that my husband is totally fed up with the whole thing, needs a lot of down time with his friends (understandably) but he’s always been a bit of a drinker and if he’s out - I really don’t know if he’ll come home in a bit of a mess so worry. He’s not going out a lot and keeps telling me he has cancelled this or that plan ‘to protect me’ but then I don’t know whether to say just go ahead or not , especially with the COVID numbers at the moment,  I just feel it is so difficult to navigate and I don’t have the energy. I suppose I imagined a scenario where we were hunkering down, doing what needed to be done in the house, healthy eating etc and I just don’t feel at all looked after just now, he is doing most of the cooking which he always has done but all the rest feels down to me and it’s exhausting constantly getting in a bad mood as I feel so unsupported. Teenagers are not stepping up to the plate either and i just seem to be really pissed off and angry  with everyone all the time - no wonder no one wants to be in the house! Other family members feel my husband and children should be minimis8ng their COVID risk for a few months but I do feel that as they are at school there’s not a huge amount that can be done in that front so reasonable for husband to get some down time too. How are others coping with COVID risk and min8mising chance of catching it from their household? Is everyone’s famil6 wrapping them in a cocoon of love and support and it is just mine tha5 are acting like they don’t really care about me (which I realise is absolutely not the case) 

Hi @glasshalffullbutleaky  (< love the name)

Good that you’ve come on here for a offload/moan. Sounds like a very tough number of years for you, on TOP of your BC diagnosis and treatments.  All bad enough without fllppin Covid to deal with as well, but which has added to it.

Also sounds like you need to call/have a calm “intervention”, as the Americans call it, with your family gathered together. Perhaps write down what you ARE appreciating, eg. your husband doing all the cooking etc., any thing good your kids are doing, and state these to them. But then calmly explain that you’re still having to cope with chemo, still need some looking after, and state what you DO need, and also your concerns around Covid too. Apologise for frequently getting peed off and angry and explain why you are?

Schedule a specific time with them ALL for it, to sit down and gently bash it out.  Also gives them chance to voice their gripes or misunderstandings too. 

What do you think, leakyglass ??  I hope you CAN get things sorted out, flower.

Lotsa love,  DellyDooDah  XX