Hi, ive finished my primary treatment and now taking abemaciclib and letrozole.
Im signed off work until the end of the month but took the decision to go back about 10 weeks ago on a phased return.
Im not coping well at all and thinking about quitting my job but dont know what to do and dont know who to talk to.
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Hi milly156
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Lisa
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The breast cancer now helpline is very good and supportive. I’d suggest you try them. Also Macmillan helpline. They offer counselling sessions too.
And can advise on work and return to work.
Your oncology team may also be able to refer you to some counselling from the hospital - highly recommended.
It’s tough to get back to work after treatment, but there is help.
Warmest wishes and hope you get help soon
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Hello @milly156
Posting on here is a step in the right direction, talking to as many people as possible is a great help as there will be many different perspectives.
Don’t make any rash decisions, how you are feeling will change and improve over time, bit by bit you will become you again. It’s a rebuilding process and it will take some time. Whilst you are on phased return your GP will be giving you sick notes and hopefully some advice too. They can help protect you by suggesting on the sick note things to avoid or restrict within your job.
Here’s a bit about me and some of the things I did to help me through.
After my chemo finished in August 2021 I had a double mastectomy then told I had the all clear, time to move on with my life and get back to work. Only it wasn’t that easy. I started phased return in the November for a few hours, a few days a week and tried to build up from there. I picked what work I wanted to do. I was a manager but didn’t have to take that role back on, they kept going with how they had coped when I wasn’t there and I just came and went as I pleased until I could get into a routine. I was weak mentally and physically, I would burst into tears at the drop of a hat, I couldn’t deal with people asking me to do anything, I couldn’t think straight if put on the spot and I was a wreck. Then I had my ovaries out mid 2022 which hit me hard with anxiety and a dark cloud of doom came over me. I tried to work a bit at home but the moment things didn’t go smoothly and I had to think to sort out a problem I broke and couldn’t deal with it so I was on sick for a few months. During all this time because I had to keep getting sick notes for my phased return I was having regular conversations with my GP and she was really helpful and gave me good advice about looking after myself and doing what I found manageable. I didn’t take any meds but I did buy a Ladycare magnet that helped me with anxiety and the dark cloud of doom. It’s 2 years on and I am in a good place.
I found a good working pattern and responsibilities at work
I walk every day in nature
I spend time with friends and have a laugh
I am always reading and learning how to increase my energy levels
I look for the positives in things
I like meditation, massages, Reiki, tai chi, yoga, sound baths
I like to get my 30 mins of decent exercise in a day 5 days a week
I don’t drink alcohol much and I cook most of my own foods, limit processed food and drink smoothies loaded with fruit and veg and powders to boost my immune system,
Drink matcha, green teas and herbal teas
I concentrate on what makes me happy and let the other crap go.
It’s very early days for you, give yourself a break, be kind to yourself and allow yourself chance to rebuild.
Take care xxxxx
Hello
Its rough going back so give yourself time
Would it be worth exploring professional counselling?
Macmillan have details on their website
Your GP can refer you but it might take months and in the meantime they can help you to understand yor feelings and emotions ( not necessarily with medication)
If you have any sort of employee benefits / wellbeing at work that cover this sort of support try them
Id also advocate the Moving Foward course run by these guys
Take a breath, and no rash decisions
Good luck
Hi milly156
Thanks for your post.
It is not uncommon for people to experience low mood and depression after a diagnosis of breast cancer whether or not they are managing their return to work, but it’s important that you feel supported in managing this.
As @Ahbc21 says, everyone has a different perspective on how to manage things including their return to work and many find it a difficult process, so you are not on your own in feeling the way you describe.
We often find we can help people more by speaking to them on the phone as @ChristineP22 has mentioned. Our helpline team have time to listen, talk things through and signpost you to more support and information if necessary. You call the helpline on 0808 800 6000 if you would like to talk things through further.
Macmillan Cancer Support provide information on returning to work and a dedicated Work Support Service. In addition to the things that helped @Ahbc21 through, you may also find our tips on returning to work helpful to read before talking to someone about the support you need.
Although their services are not free, Working with Cancer also offer support and have some web-based resources you can access. You may be interested in the Facebook Live session we did with them some time ago, which included a discussion about returning to work after a cancer diagnosis.
It is important that you also let your treatment team and GP know how you are feeling as they can signpost you to any professional help such as talking therapies and counselling to support you in your thoughts and decisions about work in the future.
Alongside professional support, it can be helpful to connect with others to hear how they’ve managed in a similar situation and the support they accessed to help them return to work like @Ahbc21 has explained. You can do this here on the forum, and also through our Someone Like Me service.
This service can match you with a trained volunteer who’s had a similar experience to you. You can be in touch with your volunteer by phone or email and they can share their personal experiences to answer your questions, offer support or simply listen to how you are feeling.
You can ring the Someone Like Me team on 0114 263 6490 or email them at someone.likeme@breastcancernow.org, so they can then match you to your volunteer.
We also offer a range of other free supportive services. Our Moving Forward resources are for people who have had a diagnosis of primary breast cancer and have come to the end of their main hospital treatment within the last 2 years. They include our Moving Forward booklet and Moving Forward courses.
Please do call our helpline if you would like to talk this through or have any further questions. Your call will be confidential, and the number is free from UK landlines and all mobile networks. The number is 0808 800 6000, (Relay UK -prefix 18001).
If you would prefer one of our nurses to call you, you can request this by completing this form ticking the box agreeing to a call back.
Our usual opening hours are Monday to Friday 9am - 4pm and 9am -1pm on Saturday.
Out of hours you can leave a message and we will call you back when we next open.
Best wishes
Catherine
Breast Care Nurse
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