Hi everyone,
I have worked as a nurse in the NHS for 29 years. Unfortunately after recon surgery in 2005 I developed truncal lymphodema which then progressed to arm and now hand of my dominent arm.
To cut a long story short, I have recently been given ill health retirement from the NHS (Tier 2). After some initial relief that all was sorted, I feel very low now the dust has settled, and very tearful when I think of what I have lost. Also, the drop in income doesn’t help, but I am grateful to have income at all. I know that I should be hugely grateful that I no longer have to struggle with working, worsening my lymphodema and certainly a big reduction in stress levels, which must be beneficial to me in the long run.
However, I feel very lost, I have lost my identity, my professional skills, all that I have worked so hard for…I have never not worked and now I am struggling with coming to terms with it all. I really didn’t expect I would feel like this at all. I am 48 years old, by the way.
Has anyone else experienced this, or does have anyone have any advice? I would really appreciate any tips at all.
Many thanks XXX
Hello Happyshopper
I don’t post very often therse days but just look in now and again. I was pleased to see you had got your retirement and believe we have a similar history re LE (only arm for me)and Osteoporosis.
I was 48 at dx in 2004 and developed LE in 2006 in my dominant arm I ended up getting IHR in October 2007 at age 51 and you have just described exactly how i felt.
So much of our identity is our job that being forced to give up too early is very unsettling. I remember I had some surgery in the Decmber of 2007 and it was really nice not having the pressure of wondering how soon I would feel like going back from sick leave but that didn’t last.
I do still get down and frustrated by feeling like I am not a useful member of society but that doesn’t happen so often therse days. I did try volunteering at my local CAB and was training to be an advisor but the 2 day committment in a very hot office proved to be too much for my arm and I had to give it up.
I have also done some paid work from home doing telephone fundraising for charities but had to give that up after 18months as there was more and more paperwork involved.
So now i am back to being what my kids call " a lady who lunches" I meet regularly with some ex colleagues who are also retired and try to see friends as often as I can.
My husband works shifts so is often around on weekdays which helps too.
I read quite a lots and like getting out walking although regular bouts of Pneumonia and pleurisy (weak lung thanks to Rads) do drain my energy.
Some advice I would give you is to check out your state pension situation.
When i retired I thought i would be fine as I only needed 30 qualifying years to get a full pension and I had that but the goal posts have moved and now I will need 35 and am trying to workout what to do.
I think it might help you to look for local volunteeering opportunities.
When i am having a down day I try to remind myself that at least I do have an income and I can arrange things around how my arm feels which does take the pressure off.
I do hope things work out for you
Regards
FF
Hi Happyshopper
So glad it all got sorted and you got tier 2. I felt bereaved when i first finished and cried a bit. This only lasted 2 weeks! I retired due to ms and did not get any time to enjoy my retirement before the cancer turned up, so now treatment is finished I am looking forward to starting my retirement all over again. As frazzledfifty says, you become an expert at ‘ladies that do lunch’. I’ve done just that today! When my little boy starts school in September I will look for something to do, either paid or unpaid (as you can only earn a little bit before they start messing with your pension) purely because I know I will get bored, plus i miss meeting people and having a good laugh with colleagues.
Don’t feel guilty, just enjoy having time to do what you want, when you want.
mandyj.xx
Hi, I have never posted before, but your thread struck a cord. I had a mastectomy & axillary clearance in jan 2012 followed by chemo & radiotherapy. i too work for the nhs. I returned to work in Nov 2012, and was finding it quite difficult (tiredness, hot flushes etc) but was quite determined to carry on until at least August when I will be 55 and can take my pension. However in Jan of this year I had an accident and had to have surgery to my dominant hand (not my mastectomy side ). I am unable to do my job & am off sick yet again. I have asked for anemployment break to get myself sorted out, but was told today that this has been refused even though my manager & occupational health nurse were in agreement. So much for the caring profession.
I am 53 and took ill health retirement from the NHS almost exactly a year ago. Because I have a secondary diagnosis and limited life expectancy I took all my pension as a lump sum.
Prior to my retirement I had had seveal periods off with “ill health” and also a period of part time work as a rehab package…i think this gave me the opportunity to sort out what I would do when I retired.
I do miss work to some extent …my colleagues as much as the patient contact…but I do meet up with a couple of them every 6 weeks or so. I have also taken up a couple of life long learning courses in history and art and architecture and plan to go away with the group in the summer.
I have the chance to visit my 90 year old mum one day a week and take her shopping and to lunch. she has lived with BC for 20 years and with secondary cancer for 7 years but remains pretty fit, and lives alone.
Other than this I swim with friends once or twice a week.
A close friend of mine, decided she wanted to continue to work (in the NHS but an academic). She had secondary BC diagnosed last year…worked until Jan and gave a nationally important lecture in Nov2012. She died at the beginning of march.
Iguess we each make our choices and what is right for oneperson isn’t necessarily the right decision for someone else.
Best wishes in your retirement. Pamx
Dear all,
Thank you all so much for replying and posting- I have gained alot of comfort and reassurance from them. I’m so sorry that I haven’t posted for such a while - firstly, having to wait for the computer to be free from my 2 kids (laptop broken!) and secondly, I was moping so much in self pity, which was no good at all.
I’m pleased to say that I appear to be leaving my self-pity party and am now beginning to look at my situation with some fresher (and more positive) eyes.
I think what was contributing to my negagtivity were the comments and “looks” from other people when I told them I was leaving work due to IHR - I could see them looking me up and down in a puzzled way as if to say that there is nothing wrong with me, so why aren’t I working when still 48?
In addition to my lymphodema problems, (and neurological and autoimmune problems) I had a real scare last year, when ’ due to back and right side pain, I underwent CT scans and MRI, which shook me to the core (I am very fortunate that these were apparently OK). My spine MRI did show a haemangioma and I was then sent for a bone scan which, thank God, was OK.
But… this really shook me up and gave me a massive reality check. I guess what I am trying to say - I’m getting upset that I have had to give up nursing when actually, there are bigger things to get upset about.
And at the end of the day, I was a very small cog in a very big wheel and that wheel will carry on turning very well without me…
And I have to admit , I am beginning to feel like a weight has been taken of my shoulders, and I don’t have to worry about whether I’ve done anything wrong in my working day, or that I haven’t got something finished on time , or I’m feeling too tired, my arm is swollen and achy- that doesn’t matter anymore. I saw some ex- colleagues last week who commented on how much better I’m looking too, so something must be right!
Onwards and upwards… my best wishes to you all XXXXXXXXX
I am just about to start this process, I’ve been a P.A for the NHS for 16 years, I now have secondaries in liver & bones. It appears I am just a number. Can’t believe that the “Caring NHS” just dismiss you and its your Super Annuation which pays out - luckily I do have this. I am now waiting for the consultants report to go to the SPPA to see if I qualify, should get Tier 2. Currently all chemo and hormone treatments have not been successful, so not sure how long I’ve got. But what’s money if you can’t have a life. I’m 49 and don’t know if I’ll see my 50th Birthday - really sad!!
Dear Lin,
I have just seen your post and I’m so sorry to hear that you have a diagnosis of secondaries. You will have no issues with your IHR application I am sure but having just gone through the process I will help wherever I can.
XXXX
I’m really sorry to hear about your situation lin6. I’m the same age, also with NHS, I have 12 years service and was dx from teh outset with secondaries in liver and bones. Initially when I was undergoing chemo with a pretty poor prognosis I was offered IHR. OH fully supported this but (silly me) I wanted to try to return to work and did so on a phased return 3 months after chemo finished. I then caught a bad flu, had lots of complications and a further 2 weeks off sick which triggered the disciplinary procedures regarding sickness absence and I was sent back to OH. The caring NHS decided to terminate my contract on the grounds that I was unfit to return to my current job and offered me another less demanding role with much less hours. OH then said I was fit to return to work and IHR was off the table. I’m left now still on treatment (Herceptin and Zometa) with a third of my original original salary which will vastly reduce any IHR or pension I can claim in the future. On the other hand I have reduced my stress levels and got a much better balance between work, home and treatment so I am happy about that. Money becomes so much less important in the grand scheme of things. NHS management are only interested in reducing costs by whatever means they can so be careful and get good advice on the best choices for you before you agree to anything.
I wish all of you a long and happy retirement.
Ok. I don’t or haven’t worked for the NHS, but I have worked in a school for over 25 years. I loved my job, I really did, and couldn’t imagine giving it up. I did though. After treatment I went back to work, and they were great, but I just couldn’t ‘hack it’. My concentration had gone and I was worried that I couldn’t do my my job ‘efficiently’.
I was ‘pensioned off’ & I’ve never looked back!!! It’s great. Having said that, I do miss work and have volunteered at a local primary school. It’s good to feel useful but you can do that to suit you.
Life is for living so don’t worry about work. It goes on after you’ve left.
Just enjoy life.
hi all i have bc recurrance and lung mets, original bc in 2008 this one oct 2012 not quite the 5 yrs. Had a scan today to see if taxol is working, unsure of futre chrmo plans , time etc
i have workrd for the nhs since starting my nurse training n 1985, i am an RMN.
The place i work at has recently closed down whilst i have been oof sick so when i am rready to go back i will be ’ at risk’ i have been told i can go to this one unit supernumurary until i am fit enough to resumwe full duties or whatever i decide i can cope with.i am 47 this year
How much pay do you get for tier 1 and 2 ill health, i have a feeling they will try and get rid of me , any advice or tips on what to expect ot look out for would be appreciated.
Best wishes to all
Sarah 66
To answer the tier 1/2 thing.The amount of pension you get depends on what your full time pay would be and how many years you have worked. Part time work counts pro rata…ie if you work 2 days a week it counts as 2/5 ths of a year. If you have mental health officer status each year after 20 years worked counts as 2 years. Maximum pension would be 40/80ths of your full time pay…ie half…but if you have worked say 30 years it would be 30/80ths of your full pay. If you get tier 2 retirement then your pension is enhanced by 2/3rds of what yhour pension would have been if you had worked to age 60.(without MHO double years!) …so your pension would be enhanced by (13divided by3)x2)…ie between 8 and 9 years. Another consideration is whether you would be able to or would want to take all your pension as a lump sum because you have a terminal illness with limited life expectancy…this would not effect the amount of pension your spouse or child dependants would receive…as you can see its quite complcated and I would stronly suggest you get financial advice…you can get advice as to the amount of pension you would receive from pensions officers within your trust or direct from NHS pensions fleetwood…have alook at all the info available on the nhs pensions website. best wishs Pamx
Thanks pam very confusing. i am hoping to return to work at some point, i have mental health officer status and have worked full time except for a 6 month period after the las bc where i did 30 hours for a bit.
sarah66 x
Hi all have put in for ill health retirement, hopefully will get a reply before I get dismissed, been off 12 months now, recurrance and lung mets, chemo and bilateral mastectomy, still recovering.
How long does the nhs pensions take to reply and give a decision?
Thanks
Sarahx
Hi all , I have been granted tier 1 ill health nhs retirement, with a view to re assessment within 3 years if things deteriorate. Fairly ok with this as depending on future scans feel I would like to do some part time work , not sure what yet??
Just wondered what the next step is? I have to wait for pensions dept to contact me now, do I still get dismissed on ill health or do I have to actually state I am retiring? I understand I get my annual leave paid that is due to me , do the trust have to give notice and pay me I aim dismissed?
Thanks
Sarah
Hi all , I am due to be paid 12 weeks pay and annual leave entitlements in lieu of notice, does anyone know when this is paid? Straight away , monthly or at the end of the 12 weeks ?
Thanks Sarah x