Hi. I was diagnosed at the start of feb - had surgery and radiotherapy which finished at the start of June and now take tamoxifen.
Went back to work mid June.
Around the time i was diagnosed my daughter (19) also received a diagnosis of anorexia - we are working through therapy for her but it is such a difficult process and I am her only carer (she doesn’t want people to know about her diagnosis).
I’m finding life a real struggle now - I have constant anxiety, I feel guilty that I’ve recovered and my daughter hasn’t and I feel overwhelmed by work and unable to make decisions.
I feel like all the stress and trauma of the last year has finally got to me! I expected to be able to carry on as before but it’s not working!
I know many people struggle with anxiety following recovery, I’ve tried mindfulness and breathing techniques which help a little bit but not enough!
I just thought I’d post on here to see if anyone else is struggling like me! Xx
So very sorry to hear of your daughter’s anorexia and I’m glad that she is getting help for this. Unfortunately when it comes to health some things are quicker to fix than others .
Whilst not in the same boat exactly I had ongoing problems during my recovery period trying to support my Dad who was elderly and unwell and coming to the end of his life as well as grieving for my Mum who had died a few months before my diagnosis .
I did a Moving Forwards course which I found to be very helpful - everyone was struggling with something several of us were very upset during the first session . One lady was caring a daughter with mental health issues whilst also going through a divorce . Unfortunately cancer doesn’t care what problems you already have when it strikes and the way you are feeling now resonates with me and I have read and answered posts from others also struggling post treatment . While you are having treatment your focus is getting the cancer out then finishing your treatment and recovering from the physical effects so the enormity of what you have been through tends to hit later . The world doesn’t feel like the same place anymore you wonder if you you can trust your body you have Tamoxifen and any side effects to deal with . It’s hard to carry on as before as this experience will have changed you as a person .
If you can do a Moving Forwards course it might help you but perhaps you need to look into counselling , talking therapy . I also do mindfulness and abdominal breathing but sometimes doing this stuff on your own when you are very stressed is quite hard and I find it works best for me as part of my Yoga class and I also attend a mindfulness class though sadly I haven’t been able to go to that for some time . Walking also helps me .
I hope this makes you feel less alone and sending love . Xx
Hi ab78, you are having a tough time of it. From diagnosis in January 23 and all the way through till February 24 was *“”‘’‘::’‘’?!;: for me.
I had my lumpectomy in April last year, followed by radiotherapy in June. Work was fantastic, so didnt have to worry too much about that. They gave all the time I needed to recover. I was just starting to feel tons better in September, when my dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer and given 6 months. We lost him in January. The day after his funeral, my brother who suffers aspergers and depression, did not return home. It was all okay in the end, but I lost it that night and thought what next.
I attended the moving forward course which was a great benefit. I ensured I talked to family and friends for support. I gave myself ‘me’ time and went for a swim or a walk on my own. I kept focusing on the light at the end of the tunnel and we were waiting for a new little great nephew to arrive.
Yes, it has been a horrible time but things are much better now.
It might not seem like it just now, but I am sure you and your daughter will get through this like I did. If I can do it, anybody can do it. Best wish to you both xx
Hi
Please ask your GP for help and a counselling referral ( likely to take months) and if you need financial help such as carers and attendance allowances or even PIP claim them
It might be an idea to let your daughters team know about your worries too ( so glad she is on her own road to recovery)
If you have PMI at work they can help too with al sorts of support, on line classes, counselling, self help etc
Macmillan website has details of counselling and support too
If work feels too much get a sick note and use the time to do the moving forward sessions and reset you, give yourself a break …youve had shed loads to deal with…
If your employer hasn’t already done so they must support you with any reasonable adjustments to your work , tasks etc
Understanding cancer and employment rights | Macmillan Cancer Support
Take care x
Big hug.
Ask your oncology team if they can provide counselling through your hospital. It will be faster. Also talk to your GP about what’s going on and how they can help.
Looking after you both takes a lot of energy. You need all the help you can get.
You are not alone
Dear ab78
I can see you have already had some excellent advise, this is so hard watching your daughter going through a difficult time, however worry and stress won’t help you move on, take all the help you can get to help you both.
Wishing you well, with health and happiness ahead.
With love Tili 
