Due to start AC chemo soon and fretting about how it will affect our family life. I drive my primary school age kiddlets to school and home, theres no bus.
I have friends who will help with car pooling, hate relying on others…but I think learning that skill will be a side effect of bc…
Im wondering how badly side effects upset this routine, curious as to how families cope
. Their Dad commutes and is gone by 6am, not home till 6pm. They’re 10& 11, perfectly capable of many things.
Just wondering if you have any advice, tips, heads up moments?
Hi Sandie, unfortunately until you start your treatment you won’t know how it will affect you but I’ll tell you how it worked for me if that’s ok. My daughter was 4 when I was diagnosed 3 years ago, your children will obviously be more Independant, we made the school aware almost immediately about my diagnosis. I coped with chemo really well but as my daughter was in reception I couldn’t just drop her off at school, I had to take her into the classroom and sort her out, which did become problematic. I was really concerned about being amongst all the children and siblings and parents with all those germs, I also felt really uncomfortable knowing everyone knew. The headmistress agreed I could take my daughter into school a few minutes late, parking was no problem then and I could take her straight to the school office and someone would take her to her classroom, I was in and out in a couple of minutes. There was one day when I felt really ill and phoned the school to say I was too ill to leave the house, they were brilliant and offered to collect her. For me a few minor changes made all the difference and my school runs on the whole were unaffected by my treatment. Wishing you well with your chemo, it will be over before you know it, take care and let us know how you’re getting on. CC x
Good luck sandie x I still can’t drive post mx and have spent yesterday sorting lifts home from the various after school clubs my teens do - I have found it exhausting in the sense of dealing with the ‘how are you’ each time and hate relying on others even though I know they are all delighted to help x whilst many struggle on chemo others also seem to manage okish - I hope u fall into the latter camp xx s
I’m half way through my chemo and have a five year old. I find I’m pretty much able to do the school run other than the odd day or two on chemo week so hopefully you’ll be fine also. Good luck with it all xx
Hi Sandie, I’m on FEC t since October. It’s made me very tired. I do the morning run every day except chemo day. I probably do 2-3 afternoon runs a week. I’ve got 2 mums who live round the corner, kids 9 and 12. I get help when I can, especially if one child has a club and the other doesn’t. I saves me from doing a 3.30 and 5pm run! Speak to school, they’ve been great and said one child can use computer room whilst other is in club to save me doing 2 runs.
Honestly, your friends are happy to help, they’re going to school anyway. I always had a nap / bed rest from 2-3 everyday to give me energy for after school homework, dinner etc.
My husband us also out from 7am to 7pm but works from home I. Fridays which is chemo day.
Sorry to ramble - jus woke up after chemo number 5 - I’m 2 weeks in to weekly t x 12 …
Hope you get a schedule sorted, I was winder woman first week back after Christmas and regretted it so definitely no Shane asking / accepting help xxx
That sounds like a great plan Sandie. Keep accepting the help. I had a but of a breakdown between FEC and tax and finally accepted more help - a friend brought me two nights worth of dinners and then came to clean my house!! Another cooked me lunch, it was hard but made such a difference in my really low week, your friends are there to help and they really want to. I’m planning on throwing a thank you party for my helpers when it’s all over.
Keep going, it is doable, unfortunately loads have been before us and more will follow in our footsteps xx
Im a childminder finished fect in November. I made most school runs accepting help when needed about 2 or 3 in week one of each treatment. Looked after 2 or 3 preschoolers and 2 school children. Avoided infection…
Just have to see how it effects you… ask for help for the first treatment and see how you go…listen to your body.
I am just about to start chemo too & it was the ‘school’ albeit college run in my case that has been giving me grief trying to fathom out whether doable or not. But guess I just will not know until chemo starts how it will affect me. I am slightly compromised due to already suffering from Crohns disease, have been warned I become sicker than most. But I keep chundering on to myself ’ I will not be defeated’.
I have older children, aged 20, 18, 16 the younger 2 are doing A Levels at college, we live rurally and sadly I don’t have the friends lift share options, and the college runs are twice a day 35 mile round trip twice over, slow winding rural country roads then queing into busy town (oh joy). So 70mile a day…at least kids old enough to be well behaved when they get in to the car! I hope I can manage.
I sadly also live 50 away from hospital. So I will be driving myself in and back from chemotherapy sessions, and believe a week before each cycle I also return for bloods etc. So that will be a 100 mile round trips for chemotherapy and it prepsessions on top of the actual school run.
Oh yes forgot to say my hubby not around either as he lives/works abroad. He’s been home for the op/ results etc and for a period post christmas due to being hospitalised for Crohns prior to being diagnosed BC. He can only come home when built up enough holiday, as used all the ‘compassionate’ leave his company could give him (5 days).
We haveooked into ‘contract taxis’ for the girls at college twice a day but it is 35 quid each trip £70 per day £350 per week … errrrrr I don’t think so!! We have already sold one competition horse and my horsebox to adjust to the momey struggles oh having hubby home and the loss of earnings for a few weeks. Alternatives for us are just not there, I so want to know if I can cope.
So even though you may feel poorly if you are bad what is it like…will I still be able to drive if I really have to ??? I have visions of pulling up at the traffic lights and being dreadfully ill over the dash and steering wheel…
It’s the unknown that’s getting the better of me!!
Kurup, what a busy week you have! You definitely win the longest school.run prize. I’m not sure I could do.that daily without chemo! Only you can tell.what you can do. What chemo routine are you on? FEC tends to make you feel rough for the first 5 days, docetaxel is later on in the cycle and from.what others say, hits you like a bus, I’m now on paclitaxel and I am tired but no other side effects, but dont think I could manage your journeys.
Do the kids have good friends closer to.school.who they could have sleepovers with a couple of nights a week? It would be good to get a contingency plan in place just in case.
I hope all goes well for you. Have you joined the February starters thread?
I have not a clue as yet what I will be on…seeing the oncologist 23 feb. But thanks for the response…I now have some chemo drug names to look out for. Will look into the friends and sleep over idea but logistically not sure I can manage to get two girls with different friendship groups to sort matching sleep overs…and the next logistical nightmare would be without my two girls at home I would have to then sort out 3 horses & 4 dogs…my girls have been fantastic in managing own their own without my input…so on the one hand I couls save myself a journey but would have so much to do by myself at home with the animals that it may be worse.
I guess I am just trying to sound people out as to how doable ‘life’ is in general whilst on Chemotherapy.
I think I am going to have to hope and pray that I can manage…I will have to deploy mind over matter techniques I think.
My busy lifestyle without husband as he is abroad is second nature normality to me…I think.I am more irritated by what limitations has been put upon me with the surgery 3 weeks ago. I have driven the car once since surgery…7 days after…that side of things was fine…haven’t ever since then as hubby been home to lok after me, but I will have to resume normal activities and routine as soon as he goes back. Just hoping and praying that I am given chemotherapy that works but is gentle on me in all other respects due to the Crohns and my no choice in the matter schedule…but even I know there probably isn’t a ‘gentle’ chemo.
Will let you all know how I get on … but reading all posts most of you seem to get by ok.
Kurup, I’m sure you’d be able to.find help with horses. My daughter and I ride and if there was someone in need of help we’d jump at the chance! I’m with you on coordinating two kids, it’s hard but you need a back up plan. Discuss your situation with d college, my kids school have been great finding activities for one if the other had after school club so I only have one run to do.
Its sounds like your making alternative plans Kurup & am sure your children will be right next to you. May seem like a lot to ask but am sure your boy be there. Mine have been true warriers as has my husband i could not cope without them. We have been honest with our boys throughout that way they not second guessing.
Odd how appointments fall on significant days. Its been same for my family. Weve booked a holiday for when treatment finished celebrate many special dates that have passed us by.
I wish you well with your treatment but i think its wise to prepared for the slog.
It is worth contacting college now…you may find a staff member who lives near by. You could put the word out in your area for other commuters or students. When i went ill apart from work i had to sort out getting eldest to college a 20 mile journey we found a near by parent who stepped in.
Id look at dog walkers…again you may find a local dog lover or trainer. …maybe an advert in vets. My niece got a young girl who mucked out etc in exchange for free rides.
You may find you cope well but id sort out as much as possible particularly for the first round. With fec i found week 1 the most disruptive each time.
Definitely worth asking about the at home option. I was offered that but didn’t use it as easier for me to go into clinic. I am a single parent and my son was 7 when I was originally diagnosed. I worked full time throughout 8 rounds of TAC (opted to have 2 extra as I enjoyed it so much!) and never missed a school run apart from one rad appt when the machine broke down mid treatment and I had to call the school and they kept my son safe till I could get there! I know it’s not like that for everyone but I had little choice but to get on with life and although I felt rough some days it was doable for me. My job involves lots of driving to meetings and I was fine. Our social life was never better as we had lots of dinner invites which I gladly accepted even though sometimes I couldn’t taste much! Hoping it’s doable for you too.
Tough day but 2 rounds down. Have you let nursey know what’s going on? Maybe they would let you put a notice up asking if anyone can help? As a childminder I have had requests from social services to help drop off in similar circumstances think the contact point was childrens centre family support.
Had mastectomy and anc three weeks ago.Starting FEC T in two weeks time.Has anybody Shaw there hair before they start treatment. I just think I will have some control and would feel more empowered.I’ve been told by oncologist that everybody responds differently to FEC T.Could any of you suggest what week is the best to plan outings. I am aware that this is going to be along six months but just would like a bit of normality at times.Thanks. First time on this site
Hi really sorry you are on here but you will find it does help to speak to others going/gone through the same … I agree with herewego, more distressing to have hair falling out everywhere although I tried cold cap unfortunately didn’t work for me lost on top and sides , once it’s off a few tears then you get on with it , I hate the wig but can’t go bare so have got bandannas from annabandanba and got a false Velcro fringe that goes just under that and a hat as winter I don’t feel quite so a victim if you know what I mean I just want to be normal … As for Fec yes week 3 is the best the other 2 are s bit of s roller coaster ok one hour not the next , I found week 3 I’d get ready for next round ie seeing friends housework shopping etc you will find your way and it is doable… Good luck and take care xxx