hi my mam was diognosed with a brain tumor 3yrs ago (not cancerous)then just as she recovered she was diognosed with bc last year, she has just finished all of her treatment which is fantastic, but why is it i cant stop worrying!
Im constantly worried and cannot settle, the cancer was aggresive but she had a massectomy, chemo, then rads, she goes back in febuary, im dreading it! i know we are really lucky to get this far, but every year we seem to get bad news, my uncle has just died of cancer and my gran died the year before mam was diognosed with the tumor, Im just sick of this disease.
I used to always manage to get through my feelings on my own but i cant keep possitive anymore, i always put on a front for everyone else and keep them possitive but inside im so down and depressed.
my mam doesnt just have cancer she has alot of other health problems, which occured from her brain tumor, she was on kettamine for the neurological pain she gets, we think she has developed Schizophrenia, she hears voices and says terrable things, she is also disabled, she was depressed before the breast bc, but now she is worse.Which is not surprising…who wouldnt!
The thing that annoys me the most is that she has never been offered any counciling, and we dont know how to cope with her moods on our own and it is getting me and my dad really down. My mams been through so much over the past 4-5 yrs. i feel so sorry for her 
Hi Lesley
Just a quick post to say that we understand your worry, and your mum’s very lucky to have such a caring daughter.
If you’re suffering the effects of her disease, then perhaps YOU could benefit from some help for yourself, so it might be worth speaking to your GP about getting some help with feeling depressed. If you happen to share the same doctor as your mum you could possibly suggest that counselling might help her, though I know GPs are unwilling or unable to discuss specifics about other patients so they might not take it on board. But if you’re the one giving them information (i.e. my mum’s not coping terribly well and that is affecting the whole family, is there anything you could offer her to help?) then they can’t tell you to shut up, and that might help to get her some extra assistance.
At the hospital I’m booked in to, there is a separate part that offers additional help to patients and their families and I know that counselling is available from there. Does your mum have a breast care nurse that you could speak to? If her hospital does have something like that then the BCN will know about it and might be able to put you and your mum in touch with the right people.
I do hope you get the help that you need, and in the meantime feel free to log in here and get things off your chest as that may help you to cope.
Hi Lesley,
You can also give the helpline here a ring, they’ll be only too happy to talk to you about your feelings and concerns.
Take care.
Jo, Facilitator
Hi, I know just what you mean. It’s the constant nagging worry which is leaving me knackered. Couple that with friends and family who want to be believe all the simple miracle stories that appear in the media, or those who just don’t believe there’s a problem. My sister was diagnosed in August and is now half way through her chemo. I work in a school and because of all the bugs going around I can’t travel to see her as much as I want to. One thing that does help is the support and understanding I’ve had from colleagues and other individuals who have surprised me with their help.It’s also such a horribly common experience that many people have been there. By talking honestly to people about what is happening I have shared some really helpful conversations. It still doesn’t stop those horrid thoughts in the small hours when I run through some of the scenarios we’re facing but I sometimes think I need to visit those places, but not linger, just to help prepare for any eventuality.
Thankyou for your comment, I have decided to go to a counceller, i just really need help with coping with the worry as i have become to realise that it will never go away, even if the doctors end up saying in feb, that everything seems ok,i will always be thinking when will the cancer come back! Im going next week to a place called Cancer Connections, hopefully it will help calm me down and stop worrying! I have also been doing learning to play the piano to help take my mind off it x x