I am going through treatment for breast cancer and finding it quite overwhelming. While I am staying as positive as I can; I have been struggling with anxiety more than I expected. The constant worry about the future, the side effects of treatment, and the impact on my family has been weighing heavily on me.
I find myself getting anxious about every little thing, from upcoming appointments to how I am going to cope with the physical changes.
I have read a lot about the importance of mental health during this time, but I am not quite sure where to start. I have been considering therapy or joining a support group, but I am hesitant because I do not know what to expect. I am also interested in hearing about any relaxation techniques or self care practices that have worked for others in this community.
For those of you who have been through or are currently going through treatment; how did you manage your anxiety? Did you find certain approaches more helpful than others? How do you keep your spirits up and stay focused on the positive?
I am also concerned about the impact my anxiety might be having on my family, especially my children. How do you navigate these conversations and provide reassurance while dealing with your own fears?
I would be so grateful for any advice or experiences you could share. It means a lot to have a community like this to turn to during such a difficult time.
Thank you in advance for your help and assistance.
Hello. Iâm sorry to hear youâre going through this. I was diagnosed in May and am currently undergoing treatment. I struggled massively with anxiety for the first few months in particular and accessed counselling to help. I would recommend it. I have been having cbt, which has helped me to recognise how my anxieties drive my negative thoughts and how my negative thoughts feed off my anxieties and my worst fears, like a vicious circle. The therapy has taught me to recognise this and mechanisms for coping with it, such as breaking things down into fact and opinion, taking a more balanced view in the moment etc. Iâve also tried mindfulness techniques which have been good. I would recommend trying to get some counselling support - I was able to arrange mine through my work but if you are unable to do this then contact your BCN or GP. Iâd also highly recommend staying as far away from Google as possible and using this forum and the many specific threads and groups on the forum to talk to real people going through it. That has helped me a lot. Wishing you all the best, youâre stronger than you know and youâve got this xx
Firstly let me congratulate you on recognising that what you are experiencing is anxiety about your diagnosis treatment and beyond, and for finding this forum: it took me far too long to appreciate that it was OK to ask for help and to actually ask for it.
Personally I donât think there is âjust one thingâ that you can do and it is all about finding the right combination of things which can help you.
My personal favourites are journaling: I bought myself a lovely purple bound notebook and matching pen at the time of my diagnosis just over 3 years ago, Iâd love to tell you itâs full of lovely profound daily insightsâŠ.itâs not! It has very sporadic set of entries mostly frustrations and swearing however I find the act of writing (as opposed to typing) very therapeutic, it slows my mind down as I have to think more carefully about what Iâm writing, I still use now for days when Iâm just feeling overwhelmed
My second tip is reaching out: this forum is full of very kind lovely people who âget itâ. I think itâs very difficult really appreciate and I understand what itâs like to receive a cancer diagnosis unless youâve been through one yourself. This is where in person support groups are also very helpful, your BCN should have details of local ones, otherwise if you are lucky enough to live near a Maggieâs centre they will have one. Trust me, they will absolute welcome you and all likelihood not be what you expect, remember strangers are just friends you havenât met yet
Finally I have found taking up yoga really therapeutic, both physically and mentally. I do a very simple âyoga for all classâ and itâs brilliant for just helping to keep you âin the momentâ which I think is the absolute key to managing anxiety but incredibly hard to do without practice
It is very difficult to manage the mind when it wonders off into all the âwhat ifâ scenarios, but try not to think too far ahead and take each day and step at a time.
Hi Patrick,
I am 20 months following diagnosis and still on treatment of Abemaciclib, Letrozole and 6 monthly infusions of zometa. Anxiety is a normal reaction for anyone in our situation and to be honest it never goes away but we learn to live along side it and it does improve with time. I find being outside, walking with friends, being on my bike all helpful. I personally donât presently share my anxieties with family or friends but that is just me. I want to protect them but initially I did disclose to friends and husband my fears. I guess now I feel that I have moved on from that stage and want to be ânormalâ with husband and friends and use this site and reading others posts to relieve my fears.
I have always put on a positive attitude with my adult children as no matter what their age, we want to protect our children. We find the strength somehow to move forward on this cancer journey. We are all different and how we do this differs. Sending my best wishes on your recovery.
Iâm sorry you are going through this. I was diagnosed in February and went into a bit of a tail spin. I had a couple of sessions of MacMillan counselling to come to terms with my diagnosis which I really recommend. Same as @adoptedmanc I used a journal which was great for getting feelings out onto paper. Even though I didnât always feel like it I made myself exercise regularly. As well as being great for mental health, I am convinced that being physically active has also helped with a quick recovery and no side effects from ongoing hormone therapy. Being part of a group on Facebook was also fantastic and I met some people who were also going through treatment for a coffee. Sharing my thoughts with other people going through but also seeing them still smiling and laughing was therapy in itself.
I genuinely thought at some points cancer would be the only thought and life would never be the same again. Six months on it rarely crosses my mind. With support you will get through this. Best wishes. x
Hi @padrickk - welcome to the club nobody wants to join but that ends up being your best friend. I had a lumpectomy and slnb on January 31st followed by 5 days of radiotherapy and now have 5 years of hormone therapy to work through. Like you I was extremely anxious and my GP put me on Setraline, which I am still on, and has helped. However the main things that I find have helped me are:-
Iâve kept a journal since the day I was diagnosed, I find writing down the scarey thoughts get them out of my head, would recommend this to everyone.
Book some online and face to face courses both with Breast Cancer Now and with Look Good Feel Better, they are all so helpful and you get to meet others in the same situation.
The Penny Brohn Charity runs classes on zoom for relaxation, yoga, tai chi, healthy eating and lots more. Really good advice and guidance.
Finally on YouTube search for Ann Swanson Wellness - lots of really helpful videos for pain control, yoga, self care and much much more. Great videos, no unnecessary chatting between exercises just helps you get on with it.
Try and make time for yourself, spoil yourself, indulge yourself, put you and your needs first. My go to is 20minutes of gentle yoga in the peace and quiet of my bedroom and yes I have beautiful smelling candles to just help give me that calm pampered feeling. It really helps.
Please keep in touch and let me know how you get on and if you try any of these. Remember you arenât alone we are all here for you and we all understand- sadly weâve all been through it or are going g through it. Lots of love and a big hug x
Hi, wow- yes my anxiety is through the roof! I was diagnosed with stage three breast cancer on 15th Aug. I have still to have CT and bone scans and I am terrified. I have three children and all I want is to get through this and to stay around for them. Since my biopsy I knew bad news was coming and my anxiety has soared. Iâm not sure how to deal. I watched the Amy Dowden documentary this evening and cried my eyes out, I found it so frightening. I have ordered a book written by an oncologist who investigated the effect that holistic therapy can have for cancer patients. I canât vouch for anything as yet but it just planted a seed so far. I plan to book some reiki sessions to help me relax and focus- maybe something like that would help you. I like the idea of journaling, as others have suggested. This forum feels like a safe place. Itâs definitely somewhere Iâm reaching out to. The unknown and the âwhat ifâsâ are terrifying me. Sending lots of love to all of you xo
Hi, I was diagnosed in February, had a lumpectomy & then an excision, followed by 5 radiotherapy sessions which finished in July. I took all that in my stride, but since my treatment finished my anxiety has gone through the roof. I think counselling does help a lot of people, unfortunately I am one who keeps things to myself, which I donât think is good. My youngest daughter was my rock throughout my operation & treatment, but now I feel I cannot burden her since I got the all clear. I am 76 & have gone against the advice to take Tamoxifen, so tend to feel I shouldnât be going on about my anxiety if I wonât take the blockers. I hope you get the help you need & get to feel much better.
So sorry to see you here .
I found cold water swimming very helpful and have been a Yoga student for many years so that was very helpful to me and one of the hardest parts was having those coping mechanisms removed when I wasnât able to do them though I managed to continue some sort of Yoga practice almost continually.
Iâve also done mindfulness which is useful and I leaned into that when I couldnât do anything else. Somebody else on this thread said something about separating things into facts and opinions and there are some similarities to mindfulness which helps you to understand that your thoughts are not real . In Yoga and mindfulness circles the mind is sometimes referred to as the joker or monkey mind because it leaps about all over the place and when youâre going through something like BC your anxiety sends it to the very worst places that you may never go to in real life . If you can be more aware of what your mind is doing and catch yourself before you go off down the rabbit hole it helps. Donât be mad at yourself when it happens , just accept it bring your mind back to the here and now breathe slowly and deeply . When another scary or negative thought appears acknowledge that the thought is there but donât follow it donât get frustrated that you canât stop thinking about it or try to block it out ( which is impossible ) . Just keep bring ing your mind back to the present . Thereâs a very good video on abdominal breathing on YouTube which can help to relax you as part of the mindfulness practice and gives you something to concentrate on. I also listened to Headspace - which might help get you into mindfulness.
I havenât had counseling for BC but Iâve had it for other reasons and itâs been very helpful - I was able to get mine via the employee assistance programme at work .
Finally I love music - I upgraded my Spotify membership , I have different playlists to suit my mood . I have a chilled one that helps me relax , an angry one and one that comforts me when Iâm feeling down because it expresses how I feel but canât put into words . I have happy ones too and ones that bring back memories from my youth . You can listen during treatments and when in Hospital as well .
however I find the act of writing (as opposed to typing) very therapeutic, it slows my mind down as I have to think more carefully about what Iâm writing, I still use now for days when Iâm just feeling overwhelmed