Hi everyone, its been three weeks since I went to the GP with a lump, since then I have had all the usual biopsies scans etc. etc. and next Wednesday I learn what treatment I will be having. What a rollercoaster, feels like a life time since the news was broken to me that I have breast cancer. Funny though, since then(a week ago) it now becomes what kind of cancer, and more questions pop up the more you read. Next stage will be what kind of treatment, how will i feel, how will i cope as a single Mum with a nine year old and thirteen year old.
Today I went to town with my Sister and her grown up girls, and my two children, they were all talking about things they are doing, have been doing nd are going to do, I felt so isolated, my life is such a shadow of what it was three weeks ago. I had boyfriends( no one permanent, just for fun) went to the gym regularly, had energy, was so positive, cheerful, strong, and enthusiastic.
I have had to give up my future for now, was training to be a teacher, I daren’t exercise for fear that I will send whatever cells there are careering further round my lymphnodes, (I do walk alot though!), I no longer teach in the college I was at because I was working with very underpriveleged individuals, and had to take a long bus and train ride to get there, and was advised to try not to leave myself vulnerable to infection.
My interests seem now to be having enough energy to keep cheerful, look after the kids, do housework, and keep strong for the treatment.
I AM cheerful, but it takes so much emotional energy to stay normal, the kids know and are staying normal and undramatic too, its just been such a fast transition from career woman to homebird, am feeling kind of lost,
maybe its good too, to learn to appreciate home, I have an art class and love painting so that’s good, and I can continue to treat people at home I hope(I am a hypnotherapist)
but I am bored already!
Thanks for letting me moan, its good to get it all out, especially as its Saturday night and I’m at home for the third week running!