D Day tomorrow - What questions should I ask?

Hi Everyone,

I go for my results tomorrow afternoon after 10 very long days.
If I do have BC can you please tell me what type of questions I should be asking the consultant.
My head is scambled at the moment!

Any advice, suggestions will be very much appreciated.

Thank you.
Dyzee.

Hi Dyzee,
Thankyou for replying on my thread,
Sorry I can’t give any advice as I am in the same boat as you, it does your head in doesn’t it?
If it is bad news, I am sure they will explain everything and I am would hope if we forget to ask any questions we will be given a number to ring.
I am taking mum with me and I am sure she will have questions ready!
One thing I would need to ask is how long I would be out of action, as I have a good job and a big mortgage, my company only pay 6 weeks full pay and then its ssp £72.55 a week so that is really playing on my mind as I have no partner.
All the very best for tomorrow I will be thinking of you, let us know how you get on.
Take care Denie xx

Hi Denie,

Thank you for your kind thoughts.

It really does do your head in! I have been ok until yesterday then it just hit me - hard. Cried all day and night.
I have not told my parents yet, they are both elderley (Dad’s just turned 80 this week) and both are in bad health.

I don’t really know about time off work. Reading other threads, it seems to be different for everyone. Macmillan
are advertising on TV at present regarding financial help and emotional support, maybe they could provide you with some advice.
My friend is going through treatment for BC at present and our company gave her extra sick time fully paid. It may be worth you asking
if yours can provide extra paid time. If you don’t ask- you don’t get.

Please let me know how you get on tomorrow. I will be thinking about you, wish we could go together!!!

Love,
Dyzee.

Hi you two - It’s impossible to think of the questions you need answering until you know what the consultant is going to say!!! You will have plenty of questions which jump into your head afterwards - write them down and ring the bc nurse, district nurse or your doctor for the answers - don’t ever feel you are wasting their time. Do apply for one of the free advice packs on this site - they are very useful.

I can only comment from my perspective having had lumpectomy, re-excision, and tamoxifen - waiting for radiotherapy and path results. First op 25th Sept, 2nd op 9th Oct - not been back to work as it involves lugging loads of things about - scar pulls a bit but I have got movement back into my arm - if you are just typing you may well be able to get back to work after two weeks but you will get quite tired so take things easy

Denie - if you are going to have problems paying that mortgage - speak to your lender and they should be sympathetic - don’t struggle unnecessarily

Good luck to both of you

Best wishes

Maddy xxxx

Hi Maddy,

Thank you for your advice, it is very much appreciated.
It really helps to know that someone is out there and cares. I think we are both petrified at present - I know I am!

Take care,
Dyzee xxx

Hi Maddy,
Yes thankyou for your valuable advice,
Take care Denie xx

Hi Girls,

First we all hope that neither of you have to be told you have BC, BUT if you are it will be a journey you do not have to take alone, there is so help available you will feel supported throughout.

I agree with Maddy, make notes of what you want to say. Perhaps the person going with you can make notes of what is said.

I think you will find they are very thorough in telling what treatment (Should you need it) you will receive and how it will proceed.

You may be referred to the oncology department after the breast clinic, I was.
As to what to ask its up to how much you want to know.
I wanted to know the grade and stage of the cancer,I was told before I asked.
You may want to ask about the chemo treatment but they may ask you to wait until you have seen the oncologist consultant.

You may wish to ask about alternative treatment should you be interested. In all cases you will need thinking time.

At no time have I ever wanted a prognosis because they can only go by statistics and I am a person who is determined to be on the positive side of the percentage.

I think you may find some details go in one ear and out the other because if you are told you have BC you maybe a little fogged. I was although I had the gut feeling I had it.

Good luck girls.
Take care
Carol

Hi Dyzee & Denie

I can only echo what Carol has said, we all obviously hope that your results turn out to be good news, BUT if they don’t please be assured that you are definitely not alone, particularly on this site. We all understand what each other is going through, and the support is brilliant.

This is a very scary time for both of you, and I really feel for you. Waiting for results is terrifying. I would certainly recommend taking someone with you, as I remember completely switching off and not really hearing what the Consultant was telling me. I too have not asked, nor been interested in statistics, I am just concentrating on getting to the end of my treatment and enjoying the rest of my life.

I wish you both all the very best. Please let us know how you get on.

much love

Julie xxx

Further ditto on Julie,
Live for the day!

Hi Carol and Julie,
Thankyou so much for your support and the information is very helpful.
I hope your treatment is going well.
Take Care
Denise xx

Hi Denise,

I am glad that we are able to help.
I noticed you had a worry about paying your mortgage. I believe the helpline can give you financial advice on this matter. I don’t know if you are aware that if you are dx’d with cancer you come under the disability umbrella where ‘reasonable adjustments’ have to be made so maybe the mortgage company will be understanding. I am not that sure though, I am in the enviable position of having paid off my mortgage recently and having 6 months full salary paid.

Good luck

Hi Again Carol,
Sorry if i’m being thick I don’t know what dx’d is?
I do have life insurance unfortunately did not take out sickness cover, I am insured for critical illness and terminal illness so will look into it if its not good news. I have also spoken to my company today and they have told me that it is 6 weeks on paper however its down to a bit of discretion too, they told me to wait until I know tomorrow and if I do need to have treatment we can talk about it. So feel a little better on that score
Thanks again
Denise x

Hi Carol and Julie, you too Denie.

Thank you. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your support and the valuable advice you give so kindly.

Denie. Well done asking your company about extra sick time!!! How you feeling tonight?

Hugs to all,
Dyzee

Hi Denie,

I think dx’d is diagnosed.

Dyzee.

Hi Dyzee,
Thankyou!
Been thinking about you and wondering how you are feeling then got your message!
Not sure how I’m really feeling, been at my mums all day so had people around me, have come home felt lost had a bath to while away the time.
Haven’t told you but went to the docs Fri as I had a brown freckle on my nose that has got a little bigger in the last 4 weeks I thought he would tell me it was nothing but he shone a torch on it and measured it it is only 5mm he has arranged for an urgent referral for that too my appointment for that is Friday. Bizzare !
What time is your appointment mine is 3.05pm, what area do you live?
I don’t normally pray but I will say a little one for us both tonight
xx

Hi Denie,

Been thinking about you too. It all feels a bit surreal and then reality comes and whacks you! My other half works abroad so I have been on my own quite a lot (to much time to think). Crikey - You are going through it at the moment on top of all this you now have another appointment - poor you.
My appointment is 3:10pm how spooky is that? I live in the North East are you anywhere near?

I’ll be praying too hon.

Big Hug,
Dyzee.

Hi Dyzee,
That is spooky!
I am in the South East.
Off to bed now to talk to him upstairs

I hadn’t finished big hug back Dyzee
Take care
Denise x

Night night hon. Speak tomorrow.
Good luck - I will be thinking about you.

BIG BIG HUG

love,
Dyzee.

Dyzee

Good luck with your results today, fingers crossed it’s good news and you don’t have to join our rapidly growing family!

Lynn