hi - I wonder if anyone else is finding it difficult to deal with stories about other people who have or have had cancer ? It seems that everyone knows someone who has had cancer or who currently has it. Whilst most people are careful not to refer to it - it’s difficult to avoid the conversations that start with " when x had cancer she was exhausted by radiotheraphy etc", I have learnt not to ask how x is now because often the response is often met with awkward shifting from foot to foot, a valiant attempt to change the subject but the answer is usually that x is no longer with us. I experienced it today when an email arrived with the sad news of a distant friend’s early death from cancer. " don’t worry - it wasn’t breast cancer" says my husband, " this won’t happen to you". If he hadn’t looked so scared himself I might have believed him. Every time I hear a similar story I go downhill - I don’t seem to have very good coping strategies for this kind of news and find it a real set back. Does anyone else experience this reaction? Any tried and tested ways of maintaining positivity when faced with the crushing reality of the club we are in? Jennifer
Hi. Yes, this can be annoying, not to mention extremely upsetting. I read somewhere that you should practise saying “Thank you, but I’d rather not talk about cancer now.” Interrupt people mid-flow if necessary; if they’re offended, tough!
Some of it you can’t avoid, because it’s part of life. You do become much more sensitised to it when you are the one with cancer.
Here are a couple of articles you might like. I don’t agree with all they say (people generally think they’re trying to help), but I do like some of the points they make:
theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2012/apr/18/10-things-not-say-when-ill
Good luck with everything.
Nice articles Bravescholar, they ring very true!!! Jennifer I think we are hyper-sensitised to anything to do with cancer whether around us or in the media,hard not to read about cancer ,hear about it on the news or hear of someone who has died from it.Hopefully once you’ve finished treatment the dial will be turned down a little and you won’t feel quite a vulnerable as you do now.