just found thiss site and need advice on depression. Had two small lumps removed in feb followed by 15 sessions of radiotherapy with no problems but a few weeks later went a deep depression and started shutting myself away. Doc not keen on giving strong drugs as he says this will pass but I am taking 10mg tabs of Amitriptyline to take at night to heep with sleep. I know I am very lucky as I just had the lumps removed, no lymp involvment and no chemo but am on tamoxifen for five years but waves of depression just washes over me and I just cannot gain control of my life again. I go to Yoga, have an allotment and play bowls so getting excerise. I had bowl cancer eleven years ago with 30 sessions of chemo and coped better than now. I am thinking of trying hypnotherapy as a last resort. Sorry if my problem appears so less important than a lot of the other posts but I am so low. Thanks
Oh Cassie5,
I think the helpline here can help, point you in the right direction also phone your BCN to find out if there is support in your area. Someone will be along soon with more information for you, very big hugs xx
Hi Cassie
Please don’t be hard on yourself. I know where you are coming from I have an appointment with my GP to discuss my anxiety next Monday (he doesn’t know it yet!).
I had my first annual mammo & all was clear I should be over the moon; but I have 2 bits of calcification which is benign & they want to ere on the side of caution & re mammo me in 6 months.
I was relieved they would keep an eye on it. I had DCIS needed 2 WLE & 3 weeks rads completed in March. Then a couple of days later I hit a wall so to speak. Called my BCN who talked a bit of sense into me; these calcifications not linked to those abnormal DCIS ones. If they had any concerns they would have done a bi-opsy. I hadn’t realised how anxious I was & am also putting it down to the approaching menopause as it is very much worse in the run up to a period.
I coped really well until I had a small swelling under my arm (no surgery/rads to the area so a bit of a surprise in June)& now worry over everything. I even cried after I’d had to rearrange a diabetic clinic appointment last week! My levels were brilliant I had no reason to feel so low but I did.
Amitriptiyne (can’t spell) is 1 drug mentioned by the registrar I saw in August as I have some residual nerve pain & a bit of fluid build up (swelling). 10mg is the starting dose (hubby has it to help some nerve pain he has in a leg). For me I’d want to try a low dose to see if it was sufficient rather than go into a higher dose if not needed. I keep what I call a boob pain diary & I’ve also started putting a note of my low days on it to see if they are forming a pattern. Mainly because I want to feel in control over my feelings. I’ll be taking it to the GP next week he’ll probably think I’m barmy.
Do you have a Maggies centre near you I understand they are very good. I haven’t contacted mine but probably will if GP not too sympathetic (he is normally pretty good) when I see him next week. I’m hoping this drug (if he prescribes it of course)will kill 2 birds with 1 stone; help my nerve pain & keep me more on the straight and narrow.
Thank you for starting this post; perhaps we can keep each other supported. So far I had looked forward to certain milestones recovering from surgery/completing rads/ having first annual mammo and it is the result of that which seems to have stopped me in my tracks.
Take care hope you are feeling a little better. One day at a time.
Lynne
Your problems are not lesser than anyone else’s.
Depression is an added burden after BC.
I am a long term sufferer and know exactly what you mean about shutting yourself away…
That inner ugliness or inner hatred is very difficult to diminish on your own. Do try and phone the helpline, they are very very supportive.
Also speak to your BCN about a counsellor.
I had a cancer trained person to speak to for over a year as my BCN didn’t really ‘understand’ the depth of my despair.
I am 18 months away from my mx and subsequent problems/symptoms and it has been quite lonely at times but it does improve with time and support…
I am single breasted and coming to terms with that is a grave issue for me. Clothing and intimacy is still a stumbling block for me.
However, depression is at bay.
I wish you well but keep writing here if it helps.
So many of us know how you’re feeling at present.
We can understand.
With tight hugs to you and everyone else contributing to this thread from Welsh girl.
It really is one day at a time…
sending lots of hugs. I know that near me there are some places that offer free counselling for those affected by cancer. Specifically near me the Primrose hospice, but I would expect there to be others near you. It may be worth considering this.
good luck
Ali
thanks for all your replies. I will try the helpline and let you know how I get on. Best of luck to all those who need it.
Cassie5: the depression is quite common and you’re certainly not alone. I’m 8 months out and still have it. I feel like it’s an existential crisis thing happening…we face our own mortality and the world that didn’t have that issue before, now does. I was on 20mg of nortriptyline (same kind of antidepressant you are on) and at these doses, it really doesn’t address depression…my pharmacist said that dose would have to be 75 mg. to affect depression. That being said, the newer SSRIs are better than these older TCAs and have less side effects. There are a couple Celexa and Lexapro which are the least in side effects and won’t interfer with tamoxifen.
BTW…depression IS TERRIBLY IMPORTANT. It can be an emergency situation…just ask me.
Hi
Just thought I’d update following my earlier post. Saw GP on Monday who was very supportive. Not surprised I was low; more surprised it had “taken me this long to see him”, as apart from DCIS I was picked up with Type 2 diabetes in pre-op tests; father has kidney disease linked to his type 2 & Aunt about to start Chemo next week for BC it all got too much. He has prescribed a low dose AD (Imipramine). I only started it last night; & have been told I won’t notice any difference for 2/3 weeks.
I have appointment to see him again later in November; I’m relieved he took me seriously as on the day I felt fine & a bit of a fraud for taking up an appointment.
He thinks me approaching the change isn’t helping as hormones all over the place; but by seeing him I feel I’ve taken a step forward & am more positive today.
Hope everyone is doing OK today.
Take care
Lynne
Hope you feel better soon— keep doing yoga. I was told that clincial studies are being conducted in the US and showed that it helps reduce depression in breast cancer patients …
Hi Lynne,
Sounds you’ve had an awful lot to deal with and I’m not surprised you’re feeling low.
Do hope the drugs eventually help.
I really believe in mine for keeping me stable…
I have suffered with depression for most of my life so have had lots of intense therapy too but more recently my depression has been a definite reaction to circumstances…
One of my psychiatric nurses always stressed how important sleep was after such traumas. He recommended DEEP REST for depression,for the mind and body to become more synchronised.
I’ve since always adhered to this message and if you give your body time to rest and sleep it will help towards an inner balance.
It sounds obvious but too many women do not allow themselves to sleep for the body’s needs because there is so much to do!
Once I feel the signs of a depressed period coming on (I can recognise the signs now!) I make sure I sleep plenty and really change gear to put myself first. I don’t even try to do household,kitchen,work tasks!!!
Luckily I don’t have anyone objecting to my ‘pyjama periods’ but I do think you have to listen to your body and shelve the ‘ought to list’…
Special hugs to anyone experiencing these feelings. They are frightening but they will pass and don’t ever be ashamed of asking for help.
Welsh girl