im currently battling with terrible anxiety and depression. I was referred to a counsellor by my oncologist, which was going well, until she didn’t turn up and admitted 5 days later that she had forgotten my appointment. 

I was let down by Breast Care nurses during and after surgery (I didn’t see or have contact with one at all) and now feel like I don’t matter and that I’m not important, even that my cancer wasn’t as important or serious as any one else’s. 

Grade 3 HER2 positive 7cm 

I’m usually a positive, upbeat kind of girl - where did that person go ?? 

Hi Floss 62, you matter to us! You are never truly alone and you are ALWAYS an important person. You have done absolutely the right thing posting your thoughts. You only have Wonks so far, but I’m sure others will come along soon. It is so undescribably hard isn’t it my luv. And your emotions are all over the place. 

I’m rustling up my tea- I’m on a lazy ‘ready meal day’ but I shuv a few veg on to make it seem more healthy. Back soon …x 

I eat like a docker ( I shovel it in) so hello again already!

Did you ever get started with counsellor, or did she forget your first appointment? Any alternatives you have thought about… I understand you may have lost trust in her. 

I didn’t get the ‘BC Nurse - With You Through It’ I imagined either, so also left very much to my own devices to cope. 

Have managed to somehow cope, though I’m not the person I used to be, too. Bad days, OK days, Good days. 

Hopefully others will chip in. I have PM’d you too. X Wonks

Hi Floss62, 

really sorry the counsellor let you down, were  you able to carry on or did you decide they wasn’t for you? 

Of course you matter. Feeling as you do at the min makes you feel very vulnerable but I think you’ve just been unlucky with the support around you. 

My BCN whilst a lovely lady, very helpful with anything you asked for didn’t volunteer any information so not very supportive. 

You could try a local cancer centre, which I have done. They offer counselling, complimentary therapies, mindfulness as well as lots of other support. 

I have contacted the Breast Cancer Now nurses when I’ve been really struggling and they have been amazing. The nurse also suggested their Someone Like Me service which links you with someone going through similar treatment to you. 


Its a very difficult time and please dont feel alone, there’s always support on here xx 

Hi @Floss62 ,

We’re sorry to hear how you’re feeling and would like to let you know that you are important and that we are here for you. Our nurses are just at the end of our free Helpline if you would like to chat about any concerns you have raised here. The number is 0808 800 6000 and it’s open 9am-4pm weekdays and 9am-1pm Saturdays.

You can also send our nurses an email if you don’t feel like talking on the phone. You can find out more about our Ask Our Nurse service here

Take care,
Laura at Breast Cancer Now

Hi Floss62 - I’m sorry to read your post and didn’t want to read and pass by without sending a big hug, and repeating what the other lovely posts say - that you are very important and do matter. What a dreadful counsellor! There are good ones out there though so don’t be put off by that one experience.

When did you have your diagnosis and treatment?

I had counselling after treatment and one exercise she tried with me was to ask me how I would advise a friend who was in the same position. That’s really interesting to try. Maybe think about how you would reply to your post - it shows that we are much harder on ourselves than we would be on a friend (if that makes any sense).

Do chat away on here if we can help further - or try the BC Now helpline, or a mix of all options.

My very best wishes to you

Evie xx

Thanks to you all. I really do feel that I’m not alone. I am usually so positive and the one everyone goes to for support. ?

I have always been quite good at placing my troubles in a box and shutting the lid, but it just seems to be rather full and bubbling over at the moment ? 

I’ll be fine, I have a great family (who I had hide it from) and all of you to share my concerns with. 

I have a mammogram on Wednesday and a full spine MRI the following week. Maybe I feel better once the results are in. 

Hugs to each and everyone of you. ? 


Dear Floss62

Sorry to see you were depressed and did not get the counselling you wanted a while back. How are you now?