Just wanted to introduce myself, not sure where to start. I was given a mammogram and ultrasound after having pain in my breast. Each time I went there seemed to be a new suspicious area. Had 2 biopsies and an mri. Got my results yesterday and told I need chemo and a mastectomy as the cancer is in 2 or 3 different areas. Going back for an ultrasound on my lymphnodes and possibly another biopsy on Mon and waiting for a CT scan.
I didnt really hear much of what the doctor or nurse said, just in floods of tears even though I expected bad news just not prepared, I dont suppose anyone is. I’m so scared of the treatment and that it might have spread. Im 40 with two young girls 8 and 11 years.I havent told them yet, was going to wait until next biopsy and maybe try and get things straight in my head. I lost my Mum to a brain tumour 2 1/2 years ago and my sister in law to cancer (not breast) last year and my older daughter is still getting over this, just dont know how i’m going to tell her. My oh is being fantastic but sometimes I see the worry on his face and it breaks my heart.
Ive been reading some really positive posts on here and it has helped. I just hope I can start to become stronger and more positive but at the moment I feel like a wreck.Woke up this morning in tears, feel like I need to pull myself together!
Becky
Hi, can anybody offer any advice? Been a little better today in that I didnt wake up in tears, feel so sick though. Oh going round to my Dads tomorrow to tell him cos I dont feel I can do it.
Thank you
Becky
Becky, hi there, so sorry to read your post, you are entitled to cry, rant, do whatever you want on here. and at home too, be gentle on yourself, ask the bcn phoneline for advice on your children, i was very matter of fact with my daughter, who was 15. they take things in their stride, it has been found, you did the right thing and make it positive to them. the advances and medicine is so good now, dont look at the big picture, just what to have to deal with right now. Yes, its an operation but lots of ladies on here can support you every day.
dont put pressure on yourself to be positive, upbeat anything. its a very big thing to get your head round and once you know there isnt a magic button to turn your mind and thoughts off.
i am the other side of chemo, after lumpectomy, it’s not easy but you will find you can do it.
sending you lots of love,
use the forum to pour it out, all of the ladies are the same as you and me and you can write what you perhaps cannot say to friends or family.
Anne xxxxxxxx
Dear Becky11
Welcome to the forum where I’m sure you will find lots of support from other members.
You may also find it helps to talk things over with someone on our Helpline. The opening times are 9-5 on weekdays and 10-2 on Saturdays. The number is 0808 800 6000.
I have attached a link to our publication “Talking to your children” which you may also find useful:
www2.breastcancercare.org.uk/sites/default/files/talkingwithyourchildren_web.pdf
Take care
Very best wishes
Janet
BCC Moderator
Thank you so much Anne, there is alot of positive information on here but guess its still early stages. I find one minute i’m ok next i’m crying again. We will tell the girls after I’ve had the tests this week, couldnt do it yet cos I just dont feel up to talking about it. Will def get some advice first. Will be glad when my family know tomorrow, at least that will be one weight off my mind.
Going to try and go one day at a time, spent most the week end on what if’s which hasnt done me any good. I hope your doing well after your chemo. Thanks again for your message, it really means alot.
Becky xxxx
Hi there, I found myself in the same awful position as you in march last year. I have a 2 and 11 year old I found the time before telling them terrible as it was so difficult to try and carry on as normal n front of them. I found as soon as I told them store pressure in my head eased. I basically sat them down and just told them mummy had found a lump in my booby, it was making me feel poorly, the doctors have seen it and are going to give me some medicine that will make my hair fall out, but it will make me better. Alway told them that the doctor was going to take my booby away and give me a new one that wasnt n going to make me feel poorly. My 11 year was very matter of fact about it all…you have to remember at that age, they are very selfish in e fact that its all about them, Facebook And their mates! I did speak to her school so they could keep an eye out for her at school also told her if she needed to speak to anyone and didn’t want to speak to me, she could speak to school or my best friend (who happens robe my daughters best mates mum). She didn’t originally want to see me with no hair, but I shaved my head before it fell out and she did decide to have a look and said she didn’t mind and was happy for me to wander around the house without wig or scarf, which was a relief.
as for the three year old…well…she was amazing…the innocence at that age protects them. She helps with all my injections, help my hand when I had a wobble every now and then. She made me laugh after my mx when she asked me where has you booby gone mummy, I told her the doctor had taken it away as it was making me poorly, she then asked how did her get it off, so I told hearths truth, she asked if it hurt, I told her no…she then asked where he had put it Now! Then she tells me Don’t worry mummy you will grow a new one next week!!! God I laughed.
just be honest with them, you will be amazed how they will adapt. My 2 year used to sit and stroke my head, said lo was lovely like stroking a puppy!
anyway, I’ve done the chemo, mx anx clearance and rads, all finished December 2012 and now trying to get on with Life.
Take each day as it comes, listen to your body, drink lots of water and try to laugh at least once a day.
take care x x
Thank you, really appreciate all you messages, your all so strong and positive and it really is giving me hope. To be honest i will be glad when everyone knows as i know it will take the pressure off and allow me to get on with getting myself through.
So pleased for you Chatty that you’ve come through, got my LN scan tomorrow and the ccn has told me to come in an hour early with any questions. Everyone in the breast screening centre has been great, just need to get my head in the right place.
Thank you all, it means so much to me, will keep you all posted
Becky xxxx
Hi Becky
Just wanted to say what the others have really. It is an unbelievable place to be in right now. I was 36 when diagnosed in May last year and have a boy who turned 4 in December. It is very normal to have good moments and moments of shear panic and floods of tears. They will continue I am afraid over the coming months but for different reasons. Don’t want to scare you, just being realistic. It’s a massive shock to the system and it consumes you and your family and friends for a time. I had lumpectomy first, chemo and just finished rads 2 weeks ago. It’s an endurance but a bit like childbirth! You cannot remember it all. You know it was scary, miserable and tiring but you also feel as though it’s not happening to you. I always said that when I had got through this I would write on here for those newly diagnosed and I cannot believe that I am doing it already. The time will go quick once you have a plan in place for treatment. Be prepared to take a year out of your life to deal with this. My little boy has coped very well. He finds it strange if I put on my wig now as he is so used to me having no hair. I was given a book for him called ‘mummys lump’. Ask your BCN about something for older children. Everyone will tell you that you are so brave but you may not feel it, you may just feel that you have no choice, it has to be done. You will get through it and on the days that you feel human again you have a whole new outlook on life and the world and it feels good.
Good luck, mandyj.xx
Me too
Hi Becky, I have just been diagnosed too, so i know all you are going through. Im a single mum with a 3 year old who is only just getting to terms with her father having left. Like you i just burst into tears when i look at my daughter. Life is so cruel, why us we are so young. I have decided not to tell my daughter anything she i just to young. How i will hide surgery and chemo from her is another thing!! I have my appointment tomorrow re my lympth nodes to see if its spread and should have surgery next week, not sure what that involves yet, mastectomy or lump, i dont think they can be ure until they open you up.
I found the Kylie Minogue interview re her cancer very helpful and take comfort in your having a partner. Keep in touch re your feelings and how you get on.
Cheryl x