Diagnosed 2.6cm cancer and lymph cancer cells :(

Hello everyone

The world just turned upside down in the last fortnight! would never have beleived that suddenly everything I thought the future held would be so uncertain, but here I am

Im not as terrified as I was last week…I was a bit of a wreck, scared stiff, emotions all over the place etc

I seem to have reached a strange calm though I have a feeling its because I dont really truly beleive I have a life threatening illness.

 

I havent told my kids yet, they are in their 20’s and am hoping to avoid telling as long as poss but timing is going to be tricky as I dont want them to find out right on xmas or to have to be told because my hair is falling out with chemo

 

I have a meeting with consultant next wed when I will be given a treatment plan probably chemo to shrink the cancer followed by lumpectomy and surgery to lymph nodes.  

My biggest fear is that the cancer has spread to my other organs, the thought of that is what keeps me awake at night.  I wont know if it has spread until I have a CT scan and I dont know when they will give me that, I asked several times at the hospital and was told not to worry I would get that done within my treatment plan to be given next week but naturally I AM worried and am desperate to know where I stand

 

I would like to reach out to anyone else who is going through or has gone through this 

Best Wishes AJ

Hi Andrea,

Sorry that you find yourself here.  Unfortunately there appears to be many of us in the same situation. I had a lumpectomy 6 weeks ago and although the tumour was small and had not spread to the lymph nodes, the receptors they test for were triple positive, which from originally thinking just radiotherapy, it has now come to being Chemo followed by radiotherapy.  Unless you have been through it, no-one can imagine what you go through at this time, with the emotions, uncertainty, etc. I felt that I was on a rollercoaster for many weeks, but am now able to talk about it without bursting into tears.  I am seeing the oncologist 23rd November to see what my final treatment plan is.

 

I also have children being 22 and 16 and I told them once my diagnosis was confirmed.  It was hearbreaking telling them and that for me was the worse thing.  I am glad that I did and although they were shocked initially, they are now brilliant about and we are able to speak about it freely and they have been a good source of support and laughter at a difficult time.  We all initially think the worse, but hopefully once you have the meeting with the consultant, this will put you more at ease.

 

Let me know how things are going.

 

Alison

Hi all

I had the surgery today and am back home. Have hardly any pain or tenderness (as yet) and just some slight numbness in my armpit where the lymph node (s) were taken. Don’t know appearance wise yet as can’t take off dressing for 5 days, of course removing the cancer is the priority but I hope I’m not in for too much of a shock :frowning: now the waiting game for results on Dec 6th. When the consultant saw me before he kept saying lump ‘very small’ but then changed tack and started saying about results possibly showing staging more agressive and mentioning chemo if spread. So who knows…

Well I made a decision last night, Im sick of this hanging over me and feeling that all control has been taken away.

 

I have been told that I will be having chemo at some point and I know I will lose my hair.  I looked at the cold cap option and felt it was not for me so knowing that I will lose my hair I decided to take back control and cut it off myself.

 

I took the scissors and cut it to around half an inch all over.  Im used to cutting hair so it wasnt difficult and I feel somehow better for it though goodness knows why.

 

My partner says it reminds him of Annie Lennox which is very flattering, see he always knows the right thing to say bless 'im lol

Hi Andrea

I slept well thank you and feel fine today. Arm pit a bit tender but not much pain. I am upset about my breast looking different (if it does) but keep reminding myself that if it means I am free of cancer it is worth it.

It sounds like your partner is very supportive I couldn’t of got through this without my friends and family.

Rebecca x

Today was a better day thank goodness!

 

I went to get the results of my mri and ct scans, I was convinced the cancer had spread to either my stomach or kidney as I have been suffering horrible aches and pain in my side for a week or so now which I knew could be stress related but has been so constant that I really thought that it had spread but today my BCN told me no there were no new areas of concern.

 

It is in my right breast and lymphs and I begin chemo in about 2 weeks.  I had the option to have surgery first or chemo to shrink it followed by chemo and I went for the chemo as it starts more quickly and may mean less lymph nodes need to be removed so less chance of lymphodema.

 

Its odd to say Im looking forward to the chemo but I am I am looking at it as being on my side and am going to imagine it is like pacman going in there to eat the cancer cells.  This is what my BCN told me about its apparently researched and actually gives better results if you visualise it like that.

 

I told my kids and it wasnt as horrible as I thought they are coping really well and we are now busy getting things sorted so life can be easier when I get ill with chemo

 

I had the titanium clip put in my breast today it wasnt as uncomfortable as the biopsies and while its a bit sore tonight it wasnt bad at all really.

 

I hope everyone else is ok tonight?

Andrea XXX