Really stressing . Lumpectomy on Friday and surgeon had indicated from ct and biopsy lumpectomy and radiation for 3-4cm growth then hormone treatment
im reading more and more about spread and if in lymph’s will need chemo . I can’t do chemo I’m terrified of it and scared my diagnosis will change
Heartbreak do ring the number on here and speak to a nurse your treatments will be tailored specifically for you and think lots of us have had treatments change from initial assessment and through treatment’s no body ever wants to do chemo, but it is doable if you are presented with that scenario then at that time you will make the choices you need to make for you we all understand that you feel in control of nothing, but you are do please speak to the nurses on here, they can talk you through and answer all questions for you should chemo be the course you team think is best when you speak to them 
Shi xx
Hi heartbreak
Our emotions are all over the place when we get a cancer diagnosis. Like you, I was terrified. With hindsight, I realised I was terrified of losing control of my body and my life - and neither happened.
The problem is, as the cliché goes, a little knowledge is a dangerous thing and, unfortunately, most of us have a little knowledge from knowing someone or someone who knows someone - and it’s all skewed. You’ll find as you move into your treatment that your perspective will change. It takes up too much energy being terrified. Although chemo isn’t in your treatment plan, I felt the same about it as you do right now. I couldn’t have received kinder treatment from all hospital staff, from the oncologist prescribing lorazepam so I didn’t do a runner during chemo to the nurses who held my hand as I settled into treatment. I got through it and it was nowhere near as bad as I’d feared.
But chemo hasn’t been mentioned to you, let alone spread (which accounts for a small proportion of total cases - and is not the death sentence it once was!). Try not to jump the gun. Spend some time building up your resilience. It will really help. There are apps like Calm and Headspace, both NHS-endorsed, which can help you with meditation, relaxation, mindfulness. I use videos by Progressive Hypnosis on YouTube and have done since diagnosis in 2018. Daily practice really does pay off. And do stay away from Google. At this stage it is NOT a useful tool for you because you don’t have enough data about your unique cancer to know what’s relevant to you and what isn’t.
I wish you all the best and echo what others have suggested. The nurses’ helpline is a superb service. They listen, they support, they know their stuff and they are used to panicky calls. A talk to them will definitely help. Good luck on Friday,
Jan x