Diagnosed 2 weeks ago, I’m 37 with a toddler

This is the first time I’ve done anything like this so please excuse me if I don’t follow any rules just yet, I’ll try and catch on quickly :slight_smile:
I was diagnosed a couple of weeks ago, I don’t seem to have as much info as you all - can I ask when you got full diagnoses? So far all I’ve been told is that it’s invasive breast carcinoma and is multi focal. I’ve had a PET scan and it’s not spread but there is ‘axillary lymph node involvement.’
I’ve been given the 9th Jan as the date to start 6 cycles of chemo and then been told I will have a mastectomy. My consultant said that it was oestrogen negative but they are waiting for other biopsy results.
I have a 20month old daughter so what I want to know is what is my prognosis, but on the same hand I’m afraid to ask as the thought of not seeing her grow up is terrifying for me.
I don’t know what I’m asking for but does anyone have a positive experience or words of wisdom?
Thank you for reading, I wish you the best on your journeys.

Hi Horselou, welcome to the forum .You will get lots of advice and support here from people who understand .It is usual to get information about your cancer and future treatment in dribs and drabs -like pieces of a jigsaw as a variety of things affect your treatment and prognosis .Hard I know but it is best not to think too far ahead - just deal with what happens otherwise it is too overwhelming .If you go to the Going Through treatment section of the forum you will find Chemotherapy monthly threads where ladies going through chemo at the same time can give eachother support . Try not to google breast cancer as you will just scare yourself silly and stats are based on people treated 10/20 years ago , stick to this site and Macmillan for information .Best wishes Jill.

Hi Lou,
Sorry to hear you’re joining us, but you’re not alone & there’s loads of support here from those where you are now & those of us further down the line.
It is all such a shock & especially at this time of year, so what you’re feeling is quite normal, although horrible at times.
As Jill says, it’s quite like as you describe in the early days of diagnosis, we’ve all been there, as tests have to be completed & not all of the info is in, but it does get better when you have your treatment plan & you know where you’re going with it all.
Also, as Jill says, google is a wonderful thing, but is not helpful in the early days of diagnosis as we tend to be in shock, don’t have the info & it can be scary for no good reason. It is a bit like learning a new language. Do use the main bcc site here or Macmillan if you need info & there is the helpline here as well.
Do come & chat or vent whenever you need to.
Sending hugs
ann x

Hi horseylou

So sorry you find yourself here and so young with your young doughter too. I was 47 when diagnosed, with 9 and 12 year old children.

I echo the advice given by Jill and Ann. On a practical level I’d like to add that chemo can make you tired and you may experience unwanted side effects so during this time before treatment I’d really recommend you reinforce your support network to give you help with your little girl. Kids are a fantastic diversion, but have a habit of demanding your attention when you least feel like giving it!!

I hope you enjoyed your Christmas with the little one and feel a bit more prepared for what lies ahead now that you have found this forum.

Big hugs xx

Hi HorseyLou, I’m really glad you found this forum but sorry that you found yourself here.  It’s normal for your emotions to be all over the place in the early days as you have been given some very shocking news.  I felt like I’d been hit by a truck back in March when I was diagnosed.  It does get easier once you start treatment and feel something is being done.  Try and focus on the good things, you’ve had your PET scan and you know it hasn’t spread. I was similar to you,  had chemo first (8 rounds to try and shrink Mr Lumpy as he was too big for surgery) then I had a mastectomy and now I’ve almost finished radiotherapy.  I also had lymph node involvement. It feels quite daunting when you are trying to understand lots of new words and absorb new info about treatment that quite frankly sounds scary but you will get through it and your Oncologist keeps a close check on everything and can make adjustments along the way.  No one can give you your prognosis, only statistics which, like others have said are out of date as they are based on women treated 10-15 years ago.  Look after yourself and get nice and healthy ready for chemo.  I found the “going through treatment” thread really helpful as it enabled me to take the chemo journey with others starting in the same month.  Best wishes. Xx

Hi horseylou

Andrea, mum of horsey daughter here with a similar looking story… -in places

I was Diagnosed just before xmas with triple negative invasive and one lymphnode affected.

They did a scan “to see if there was anymore cancer iny body” but i had to wait for the results till after NY!!

Worst time i ever ever ever had.

Have a 13 year old with no family apart from me… well a lovely but ageing granny and a useless dad, both live in separate countries.

I was EXTREMELY distressed all over Christmas and took valium and amiltryptelene to sleep.

Made enquiries how to write a will and spoke to my best friend about private fostering in case…

All these seemingly morbid things have helped me through. Felt at least a BIT in control.
Oh and wine.
And beer.

Now, had my first chemo today, am high on steroids and perversely feel better than i have in weeks…

Seeing so many ladies on the drips and with varying degrees of hair loss and regrowth made it feel more normal and manegable.

So I’ve gone down to the darkest pits of despair, and hoping to come up a tad now.

Sending you a prayer and lots of hugs.

Andrea xx

Ps also fasting two days before and one day after chemo. See Valter Longo if you’re interested.

Hi HorseyLou

Emily here from the Someone Like Me service at Breast Cancer Care. 


You’ve come to the right place for support from people who understand.   


I wanted to let you know that if you’d like, we can put you in touch with a volunteer who’s finished their treatment and been in a similar place to you. Some of our volunteers have been through chemotherapy with young children. They’re here to talk to you and share their experiences over the phone if you think this would be helpful.


Feel free to get in touch with us here if you’d like us to arrange a volunteer for you.


All the best

Emily from Breast Cancer Care 


Jusr read your post and would like to send my love and positive thoughts your way. I hope that your treatment is going ok and that you have your full diagnosis now. 

Good luck xx