Diagnosed 5 days ago and so scared

Hi. I was diagnosed with breast cancer 5 days ago. I have had a mammogram and MRI scan but have to wait another 9 days for the results and to find out what treatments I will need. I am 37 and have two beautiful daughters who are 4 years and 7 months. I am terrified that I won’t see them grown up. 

Hi LBow82,

Very sorry to hear about your diagnosis. This waiting to find out what treatment you need is a very difficult time. We have all been through it and we have all imagined the very worst. The days seem to go by very slowly. Once you have a treatment plan you will be able to focus on that and that may help you. In the meantime try to look after yourself as well as you can and get support from people around you that you trust. You could ring the breast nurse specialist at your unit or the nurse helpline on this site for support as well. Everyone says keep away from Dr Google - just keep to sites like this one and Macmillan.



Hi Lbow


First, I’m so sorry that you’re in this position, particularly with a young family. You aren’t even free to express your true emotions. However, those emotions can be pretty powerful and pretty destructive to your wellbeing so don’t keep it to yourself. Involve trusted loved ones - don’t worry about upsetting them - YOU matter right now.


I can’t say don’t worry - you’d have to be superhuman. I’d say it’s early days. There are many forms of breast cancer, each with their own treatments. My mother had it first in her early 40s - she had partial mastectomies and no further treatment. I have a friend who opted for a full mastectomy and only needed hormone therapy. I needed the full works. So it all depends. Wait till you know what your consultant knows before worrying. 


As for prognoses, my preferred attitude is why worry about something you can’t change. I’ve accepted all the recommended treatments and I am currently cancer-free. Statistics can say what they like but they can’t say whether I’ll be in, rough example, the 75% who remain cancer-free or the 25% who don’t. Who knows? I say ‘preferred’ because I have the occasional blip and then shrug it off again. Right now I’m having a blip as I face my first annual check. Once that’s over and I get the all-clear (how could anything survive those treatments!!!) I’ll go back to shrugging. But please, don’t consult Google - it’s almost guaranteed disaster. Ask the nurses here (phone number above), ask your team at the hospital, ask your GP, even ask us - but not a search engine that can’t personalise the information.


One piece of advice, from my experience - do take someone with you to your appointment. It’s hard to take everything in and to ask the questions you want to ask. My friend sat and took notes (she’s ultra-organised) and asked practical questions she thought I might have asked. All I said was ‘F***’ and then sat in a haze, much to my amusement when I think back. Yes, you can think back and find funny things. It’s not a great experience and there are interminable waits but we’ve all got through.


Good luck with your results. Keep us updated,


Jan x


Ah hun really feel for you. I got diagnosed on the 16th Sept and had my first chemo last Monday. I have a 6 year old and a 10 year old and I have been and felt strong so far but its easy to say be strong.  Not easy to feel. Please talk to whoever you can around you.  I find it easier to talk to anyone but family. Yesterday was a killer as it was the first time I broke down because of my pain but please also talk to the drs and nurses. They are great. Here for any questions you have xxx