I’m 31 and just been diagnosed with breast cancer this morning. Rather feel like I been hit sideways by a truck, and don’t know anyone who even gone through cancer treatment.
I had a consultation with a surgeon this morning, who explained the next step of surgery and hormone treatment ( chemotherapy depends on surgery results).
I’ve been scouring the forums and reading what other people have gone through and treatment options, and people seem to talk about different types of cancer, I’ve hadn’t had this explained to me yet, but not sure if that because it early stages of treatment.
I feel a bit overwhelmed by treatment options and future problems, I’m hoping it becomes clearer after the surgery…
I’m sorry you’ve found yourself here, but as far as I’ve found so far - this is an amazing place to find support, advice and comfort from people who just “get it”! I’m about 2.5 weeks ahead of you by the looks of things - had that same diagnosis meeting a couple of weeks ago, but I’ve had to wait for an MRI scan that had to happen yesterday, then I’ve got a follow-up with a surgeon tomorrow to discuss the course of action. The scan was extra I think because the type of cancer I have (lobular) doesn’t show up so well on mammograms and ultrasounds!
In terms of knowing your type and grade and hormone status, a couple of days after my diagnosis meeting, I got a letter in the post that was a copy of the one that was sent through to my GP - this had it all written down, so hopefully you should get one too. Were you given a contact for a Breast Cancer Nurse? I had to call mine to clarify something, and she was so kind and helpful - so I’d definitely recommend a call to yours if you need anything explaining. I don’t know about you, but I didn’t take in very much in that initial diagnosis meeting!
The one piece of advice I keep clinging to, and that has helped is - one day at a time, and one step at a time. Did they tell you how you’ll be contacted next? Oh - and stay away from Google - the information is outdated, overwhelming and you can scare yourself silly reading things that aren’t even applicable to your situation (been there, never doing it again!)
Feel free to message me any time. And, as much as possible, be gentle with yourself.
Beth’s given you some excellent advice. As you say, you may find out more after surgery. Actualy, you WILL, once all your samples have been tested and they have been able to secure clear margins (the area around the site of your tumour needs to be free of cancer cells). The surgeon hasn’t mentioned spread to your lymph nodes or radiotherapy as a treatment option which are good signs that they think they’ve caught this early enough.
You need to decide how much information you want from your oncologist or how far you trust them to do their job without you checking on every step. Everyone is different. The problem with getting too much information in the early stages is that one is tempted to see what’s online to understand the language of cancer-world and that can be disastrous and very alarming. Are you the sort of person who needs to know the small details or is the general picture enough for you to go on? You need to decide soon. The two issues here are anxiety management and ultimately, trust.
This is a horrible time and the most stable people feel their world has been turned upside down. I was a wreck but not because of the breast cancer; because I have phobias and that was all I cared about. Breast cancer, caught early as yours seems to have been, from the little you know, has excellent success rates (over 90%). The question is - are you a 90% woman or a 10% woman? If it’s the latter, that needs to be challenged. Meantime, spend as much time as you can on protecting your emotional health. Don’t end up with sleepless nights and not being able to eat well. Find what suits you - running, working out, cooking, work, yoga, meditation, mindfulness… they’re all there and you’ll find useful videos online. I have just had two wonderful stress free hours, plugged in to a YouTube video by Progressive Hypnosis. I only heard the first 10 minutes!
You are very young to have been unlucky to get this diagnosis but better to deal with it now, in its early stages, even though it’s a potential nightmare. Make sure your employer knows (they are obliged to register you as disabled under the Equality Act 2010, which will protect your interests at work - look it up online or look at Macmillan’s information on employment rights) and choose carefully who you want to know at this stage. Having the morbid label of ‘cancer’ can lead to lots of intrusive questions and unwanted advice. Even friends can get it wrong and make life harder when, from what you say, this may be caught early and simple to treat.
First of all massive hugs and secondly congratulations on finding this forum so quickly, it took me a number of weeks to find it, but I’m so glad I did.
I, like you, do not know anyone who has had and survived a cancer diagnosis (my grandfather had cancer and died in his 80’s), and it seemed everybody I know “knows somebody who…” but I wasn’t able to speak to someone who actually had. Eventually a friend told me about her mum who had gone through breast cancer 20 years ago and we were able to meet up and chat, which was so helpful. However well meaning friends and family are, there really is no substitute for being able to talk to someone who has actually gone through the same journey.
I was reflecting yesterday at a review appointment that when you get given a cancer diagnosis: it’s like walking into a huge (scary) room full of people you don’t know but once you start talking you will find every single person you talk to whether a fellow patient or a professional is so kind, supportive and empathetic.
Amongst the cancer support services I would recommend Maggie’s. If you live near a centre they are amazing, you can just turn up in person without an appointment (I ended up walking through their door and just collapsing in tearful mess!) alternatively you can contact them online.
Dealing with all the information which comes with the diagnosis is huge, I would suggest maybe taking someone with you for consultant appointments (if you can) as it means 2 pairs of ears will take in the information instead of one. I was able to take my husband with me.
Following my diagnosis, I was given a series of leaflets (some which had been printed from this website) which I found extremely helpful (I’m someone who wants to read and understand everything I can) in understanding what I had been told and found this information hugely reassuring.
I would absolutely agree with the advice below in not googling anything, everybody’s cancer journey and treatment is different.
At this stage, you have a huge amount to deal with and are no doubt feeling massively out of control, and taking each step and day at a time helps, but you also need to acknowledge how horrible you might feel and allow yourself to get angry and upset.
Lots of love xx