diagnosed day plus one
diagnosed day plus one I was diagnosed yesterday-found lump last week, and now everything seems completely out of control.
I have to wait till next Wednesday for a bone scan and CT then see the consultant next Friday,
so-any advice on keeping sane whilst trying to look after my 3 year old and keep it normal for him, sort out my job and worrying that its spread-I know at least one lymph node is involved.
I have already tried the large glass of wine or three, but any other suggestions would be very much apreciated.
It’s good to know I’m not alone with this-one of the hardest things is telling everyone-thought about getting it printed on a T shirt-but may be that’s a bit obvious!
Thinking of you all
India1
Hi India Hi
so sorry to hear your news…and that you have had to find yourself here…this website and bcpals website are amazing…everyone is so supportive and can offer loads of advice…its really helped me since i was diagnosed.
I too have young children 2 & 4…they know mummy has a poorly booby and is getting a new one…and thats the extent of it…have amazing friends who have helped out when ive needed some time…my family live miles away!! There is a forum on bcpals which is for dealing with children and bc!! worth a look.
Wishing you all the luck in the world for next week…
Love Anna x
p.s keep glugging the wine…i am!!!
and if you are like me talking to friends and my hubby has really helped get my head straight…using these websites is invaluable as we are all in the same/similar boat to some extent.
x
Hi India Hi
so sorry to hear your news…and that you have had to find yourself here…this website and bcpals website are amazing…everyone is so supportive and can offer loads of advice…its really helped me since i was diagnosed.
I too have young children 2 & 4…they know mummy has a poorly booby and is getting a new one…and thats the extent of it…have amazing friends who have helped out when ive needed some time…my family live miles away!! There is a forum on bcpals which is for dealing with children and bc!! worth a look.
Wishing you all the luck in the world for next week…
Love Anna x
p.s keep glugging the wine…i am!!!
and if you are like me talking to friends and my hubby has really helped get my head straight…using these websites is invaluable as we are all in the same/similar boat to some extent.
x
Reply Hi india
So sorry you have to join us. I know it is hard to try and feel as if you are in control and stay sane. It is as if you have been hit by a whirlwind.
I tried the large vodka and tonic or two at the time! Try not to worry about your job. Take care of yourself and your son first.
After all the people that needed to know what was wrong with me, I tended to tell people if they asked me was I not working or on holiday from work ( I wish). I found most people were really concerned when I told them and very helpful.
My sister in law brought me a Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation T-shirt when she came over. I haven’t worn it outside( they always seem too big for me) but it is lovely and comfortable for bed!
My son was on holiday when I was diagnosed so I asked my doctor for a mild tranqiliser to help me until he came home and we told him.
I didn’t want to tell anyone else outside the family before he knew.
I found that helped a bit.
Take care and let us know how you get on.
Love
Thistle
HI India Sorry you are here but this is the best place to be after your diagnosis.
I too found telling people very hard. Even now when I remember telling my sister I welll up. What happened is that she then offered to tell my other sister and then they got together and visited my parents and told them for me. I would have been a jibbering wreck and they managed to tell them in a more positive manner (my parents are nearly 80 and my mum not in good health). Also, my boss was brilliant and he told some of my workmates for me. This may not be the way for you, but it helped me - there is only so many times you can say the same thing over and over.
Also, at times it can be hard to get loads of phone calls from worried friends and family. Sometimes I just do not want to talk to them, so I have devised a texting circle and I update people a couple of times a week and I do the same thing by e-mail occassionally. I sound awful, don’t I? You just have to learn to put yourself first a bit more than you usually do.
I was diagnosed in January, had mastectomy and recon and have just today had my second chemo. My children are 22 and 18, so cannot advise on how to deal with young children - and I find myself assuming you are a ‘younger woman’ - only because there is also a younger women’s forum here too that might be helpful to you. Mind you I am nearly 50 and was told that I am considered a younger women in terms of breast cancer!
There is a lot of info to take in but please do posts any time you need info or support - there is always someone here that can put your mind at rest, give you info or just be there. It has really been a lifeline for me and you will find girls at the same stage as you that you can compare notes with.
Look after yourself, enjoy the wine while you can (but I have been tole that the odd glass of wine during chemo will do me no harm). Waiting for results and a treatment plan is hard - it’s almost the worst time - I had bone and CT scans too and it shows they are being very thorough and giving you the best treatment.
Take care
Anita
Dear India I am sorry to hear of your recent diagnosis. I am sure you will continue to receive lots of helpful advice and support from the other forum users, in addition, you are welcome to contact our freephone helpline on 0808 800 6000 where you are able to talk to someone in confidence about how you are feeling at the moment. The line is open Monday - Friday 9am - 5pm, Saturdays 9am - 2pm
Breast Cancer Care have recently published a Resources Pack which you may find helpful to read, it is filled with information to help you better understand your diagnosis, test results and the various treatments available. You can download it from the following link or you can ask for a copy to be sent to you via the helpline:
breastcancercare.org.uk//content.php?page_id=7514
I hope you find this helpful.
Kind Regards
Forum Host
Breast Cancer Care
Keeping busy helps and your 3 yr old will certainly do that.
As for telling everyone, I told my kids and 2 siblings who then told my other 4 siblings for me. My other half told his family.
I agonised over how and when to tell friends and aquaintences and decided on an email headed ‘bad news’. Sounds a bit callous but it actually worked really well and no-one was offended. I explained how hard it was repeating such bad news over and over and hoped they would understand, they all did and I got amazing support.
It is the worst time of your life there is no doubt, but you will find strength from somewhere, we all seem to, after all, we are the stronger sex!
Take care
Irene
Thank you for advice Thank you for taking the time to respond to my first email. I really appreciate all your helpful suggestions and sharing your experiences.
I went to work today-probably a mistake, as it was definately my shakiest day so far, but it was good to talk to people that care about me but are not close friends/ family. Trying to wind up work is going to be a nightmare-I am a health professional, and have a lot of patients who I closely support, but it is dawning on me that I am going to have to start being selfish, and putting my and my families needs first.
I also have the feeling that you lot have a lot of strength -when I find mine, I’ll try to share that around too!
Love and good thoughts
India