Diagnosed early Dec 2018

Hi there, this is the first time I have written a feed and never imagined my first would be here. I had my first chemo session on 8/2/2019 and I can honestly say the the time between diagnosis and start of chemo is the pits. Like most people I went through just about every emotion possible (don’t feel bad it’s normal) but surprisingly not anger nor have I do date asked ‘why me’? I was soon taking medication for anxiety which until the day before chemo started I was taking everyday at which point I reached some kind of calm, perhaps because my fight back was about to start. Gremlim (that’s what we call it) was about to get it. I probably felt much better because nothing to date was actually being done to get rid of Gremlin, just loads of tests, results and insersion of a PICC line (not painful).  Christmas and New Year came and went and yes me and my husband agreed that we had just gone through the motions. I don’t think our 26 year old son who still lives at home had a great time either. Anyway as January was coming to an end we started to think about my chemo and side effects. So I bought several over the counter remedies paracetomol, gavisgon, senna etc,etc, until I get what I need from the hospital, oh and a thermometer. I also made preparations for my hair as I will not be able to dye it. At 62 years old I don’t know what my natural grey hair looks like! That’ll be a first. I am going to try the cold cap but intend to buy a wig to cover bad hair days, the badger look as my grey comes through and something to fall back on if all my hair falls out. I’ve got a wide tooth comb and bought kiddies all in one shampoo and condioner just for starters. I’ve also packed a grab and go overnight bag, my husband’s idea, so if I need to get to hospital quickly as a result of chemo and it’s affect on my immune system, we can just grab and go!  I wish all you newly diagnosed people all the best and hope that like me find that chemo will become your friend and not the nasty stuff we all think it is. It seems so scary because I imagine, like me, apart from the anxiety you feel otherwise quite well.

Hi Susie, 


Thank you for sharing your journey. I start my chemo on Monday. I’m definitely nervous, but hearing your journey has helped me feel a lot better. 


I will I’ll let you know how I go on Monday xx 

Hi Susie 

Welcome to the forum, I was Diagnosed in May 18, Chemo started on the 25th June, the anxiety building up between diagnosis, tests and start of treatments was tangible. Up until you know the gremlin is being dealt with, you feel restless, stressed and sick with fear.

once I had my mastectomy in December 18, I felt clean and no longer toxic and anxious. 

The feeling of surgery made me happy, strange as it may seem. 

Chemo was tolerable, I took Supplements, had acupuncture, healing and took care of myself. 

2 months post chemo (December 18), my hair has grown back, a lovely white, I’m 48 and dyed my hair from my early 20s. 

I start radiotherapy on the 19th Feb, 3 weeks, then active treatments will be over. 

I have set the intention all will be well, and I will get through this, and the gremlin will never visit me again. ?

Good luck with your treatments. ???

Hi Susie, what a lovely post. You have beautifully expressed what so many of our members have gone through, and are still here to tell the tale. I was 70 when I was diagnosed in January 2017, and it has been a bit of a roller coaster . Like you, I never thought ‘why me?’, because why not me, why am I so special ? The answer is, of course, that I’m not! No good regretting what can’t be changed, but better to get on and try to fix it. It is an excellent idea to have your little bag ready. Don’t forget to tuck a copy of any prescriptions in it as well so it saves time looking up stuff on the ward. I thought at one point I was going to have my name engraved on a bed, I was in hospital that often! Just a few hiccoughs with tolerating dosages. I think you ought to see if you can get sorted with a prescription exemption certificate. The things you have mentioned buying soon add up, and your doc will prescribe them. The hospital will give you mouth wash and stronger pain killers if you need them. Make sure you take your pain meds as the body heals faster if it’s not trying to fight pain. You sound very organised, and I wish you all the very best with your treatment. Once your chemo starts you might want to pop onto that months chemo thread and make a few friends who will help you along. X