I just found out on Friday that I have breast cancer. Completely shattered, and also terrified as I think the lump they found is quite big and already spread to two lymph nodes so my head is spinning with what that might mean and imaging all sorts of terrible scenarios. I have an MRI tomorrow then back to doc on Friday, at this stage I am just hoping beyond hope that she says she has a treatment plan for me that she thinks could work.
I’m 48, v nearly 49 and I have two daughters who are 14 & 11, feel awful for turning their world upside down. My husband is being amazing, my whole family in fact but I feel so bad for putting everyone through all this.
Just wanted to say hello and send hugs to everyone else here, I’ve been hovering a bit over last two days plucking up courage to post and can see what a lovely and supportive community this is.
Teagold sorry you find yourself on here but glad you’ve found Breast Cancer Now and reached out it’s like being sucked up into a hurricane and appointments and treatment plan will move quickly and you will have decisions to make usually on things like operation etc. Please don’t try and process everything all at once, step by step and day by day you will get through. Remember your team have seen it all before and will tailor your treatments specifically for you, it’s not one size fits all. I found it useful to have notebook and I used to write all my questions down in there and ask at appointments and write their answers down, found that helped me, but not everyone wants to know much and that’s ok too, you do what’s right for you along the way, you are what’s important and you must put you first, it won’t come naturally to do this probably but you must When you know your treatment plan there are threads for everything on here and it can help more than I can ever put into words the kindness, care, help and support that is on here Also do use the someone like me option too, it can help speaking with someone who has stepped the path before you. An inspirational piece that has helped lots of us over the years is mountain lion by strawberry blonde, think it’s in hope and inspiration part, do look it up Remember we are all here for you and Breast Cancer Now is here for you you as much or as little as you need and remember your team at your trust is there for you and will care and support you through each treatment and step too with kindness and care too Shi xx
Hi Teagold - a big hug and welcome from me too. You’ve already had some lovely words and advice from Shi and LouJP. I had treatment about 4 years ago and found this forum a real lifeline. Sometimes it’s so much easier to offload to others going through treatment at the same time, or previously, as no explanation is needed, everyone just gets it. I’m glad you’ve taken the plunge and joined in - you will never be judged, no question is too big/small/silly.
Shi is right, you need to try to take one day at a time or even one hour at a time if things get tough. Tempting as it is to google, try to stay away from Dr Google or you can end up scaring yourself. Stick to recognised websites, like this one, for information. One book I have that was recommended on here tells us that we need to try to remember that “fears are NOT facts”, so try to focus on what you know rather than letting your mind run ahead of you. Of course that is all easier to say than put into practice, but little steps. It’s most important that you focus on yourself now. Lots of kindness and treats, whatever helps. Mindfulness is also recommended, to keep us in the present moment rather than racing ahead.
The waiting stage is probably the hardest, oddly it gets easier once you have a plan in place, which it sounds like you will be given on Friday. I was similar age to you at diagnosis, also had node involvement. I’m happy to help with any questions you might have after Friday.
Your mind will of course be spinning, so as the others suggest do ask questions and write down the answers. If you have to go in on your own you might want to ask your doctor if you can record the appointment if you don’t have anyone else with you to help remember what was said. They might or might not agree, but could be worth asking. I would often ask a question, hear the answer but by the time I was back in the car had come up with a totally different version of the answer!
My very best wishes to you as you go forward with treatment. Do please ask any questions, whether about treatment, how the forum works or if you just want to chat. Big hugs, Evie xx
Sorry you find yourself with a diagnosis but you have definitely come to the right place for support. We are all here for you. I was diagnosed in October 2020, age 43 with 2 children too aged 15 and 13. Together you will get through these hard days. Be kind to yourself in these early days too. Sending you many many positive vibes.
sorry you find yourself on here but glad you’ve found Breast Cancer Now and reached out 
