I’m 46 years old (47 next week) what a crap bday present!!! married with 2 teenage boys.
I was diagnosed last Wednesday with IDC 15mm grade 3 ER+ & PR+….Her 2 Negative no sign of lymph nodes involved.
Had my MRI with contrast today and that was a nasty experience. Results on the 7th December.
The plan was discussed, that I would have a lumpectomy on the 11th and after Xmas start Radiotherapy maybe chemo. This is all dependent on the MRI results.
I’m struggling coming to terms with this news as my mum died from secondary cancer at the age of 41. It was a traumatic experience as I was only 18 years old at the time.
We’ve told our boys and friends and family and they are upset but supportive.
I’m finding this waiting sooooo hard and I just want it gone now.
You all sound so strong and positive and I’m trying to be but it’s the not knowing.
The BCN said I’m not going to die and I will be ok to go to my work Xmas party ???
Any support or advice from all you amazing strong women ?
I’m so glad I’ve found this forum, over the weekend it’s helped me so much with my shocking news!
Welcome to the forum , no-one is strong in the beginning we are all a bit of a mess !!! The anxious waiting is just torture . When I first joined the forum the day after I was diagnosed I was amazed that people were talking about normal every day things - nights out holidays etc whilst dealing with cancer when I could barely get out of bed and 4am was my new wake up time . They all told me it’s gets easier and they were right . Once you know what the plan is and can get on with getting rid of your unwelcome guest you will feel calmer and more back in the real world again . Talking to people who’ve been through or are going through the same really helps .Always someone here to chat . Best wishes Jill x
I think being on this forum enables ones efforts to be strong and positive. But I doubt there is a person on here who doesn’t go through black times. Just hang on in there and then when you have your treatment plan you will know how to put one step infront of the other. It gets easier then because you are on your cancer journey (yes, I know, hate that word but can’t think of another) and you just go on day to day. That really is the only way to do it.
Its different for everybody, of course, but I can honestly say that having an MRI scan was just about as bad as it got for me. I am claustrophobic and because of a heart problem I had to have instructions to hold my breath coming through headphones which meant the whole thing was over an hour. I can only describe it as quite literally hanging on to my mind as I thought I would break. I was listing all the people who had appeared on Strictly, then film stars who had won an Oscar, anything. I did press the button once to get them to stop and they were by my side in minutes with water etc. But it was hideous. To make matters worse, the chap coming out of the one in the next door room told me had just had the best nap ever. I felt an utter fool.
I’ve told my oncologist it better not come back because no way am I getting in that contraption again.
Well done for surviving one of the most awful bits. You will be at that Xmas Party.
Fellow grade 3 here! It’s scary and sucks especially at the part where you are now. But active treatment does go by quickly and most of us make a full recovery. There is some hope that you can avoid chemo still since you’re hormone positive but you’ll have to wait and see after surgery. I wasn’t able to but I did okay on it and a full year out feel really good.
Welcome, we are all here for you, unfortunately this is the worse time for you as time goes on you will learn to cope with what’s happening to you.
I can see from the others replies you have had some good advice, take one day at a time, write down any questions you have, as we can be all over the place when we have sooo much to take on board.
Wishing you well, going forward for a good outcome. Keep posting letting us know how you’re getting on.
I was a soggy blob until I’d found out what my diagnosis and treatment plan was. Things, strangely, improved once I started my treatment journey. It’s a rotten, rotten thing for anyone to go through. I’m so glad you feel like going to your works party. I didn’t want people saying anything like ‘oh god! I hope you’re going to be ok!’ So emailed them or told others to tell them I only wanted to hear positive comments or none at all. Probably just me…
I find MRIs totally traumatic . I have issues with my spine and have to have a full spine MRI once a year .After pressing the button to get out a couple of times and just managing to survive by the skin of my teeth they offered me sedation for any future ones . I’m not sure whether this is viable for you but may be worth asking if you need a further one at any point - they usually use Loraxepam .
Hi sorry to hear your diagnosis. I was similar with a birthday result, similar diagnosis ,MRI etc . Though I am 61 .The early part is the hardest and you may find the goalposts change but can change back again , nhs is just being very thorough. My sister had sadly died at a similar age to me of BC some years earlier .
Top tips from me :-
Dont google , this caused me the most (uneccessary) angst
Don’t compare yourself to what happened to your mam , what I have learnt is that everyone’s BC is different, so many variables and treatment options have vastly improved over the years.
See your treatment plan as the start of the way forward and and be positive about it . I am hospital phobe ! Expect there may be some harder parts but everything is doable and you are on the right path .
Try meditation for calming and grounding? I used the Calm App , 10 mins on a morning and it helped me immensely by doing it during hospital procedures.
Good luck and yes you will get to that Christmas Party x
Felt I had to say that I disagree with your advice re Google. I am a pretty rational person who likes to make decisions based on the evidence. I found it immensely reassuring to do the research and know what I was facing, plus my knowledge enabled me to ask the right questions. I don’t think I would have discovered the real negative effects of some of the treatments without research, plus being aware of how much/little protection they offered.
If you are the type of person who fantasises about bubonic plague, then probably give it a mess. For me the days of ‘doctor knows best’ are long gone and I feel that combating cancer works best as a collaborative process.
As for Dr Google, surely just using this forum is a kind of research? We take comfort from each other but we also get the reality as well as helpful advice from those ahead of us on the cancer trail.
I am sorry you are going through this. My only advice is take one day at a time. Try and keep busy while you wait for results. I know its hard as its a very anxious time. You will feel consumed with every emotion.
I was diagnosed last year stage 4 de-nova few days before my 50th birthday. Not a very nice birthday gift.
Its amazing how many treatments are out there now and it already sounds like you have a good treatment plan.
I am sorry your mum passed away so young. Treatments have changed especially with targeted therapy.
I have two teenagers and I talk to them very openly about my treatments they like to involved.
This is a great forum to be on Beautiful sisters supporting each other.
Scans are not the nicest things and i have lost count how many i have had, with the MRI i take 5mg of valium and i find it just helps with relaxing.
Everyone is different with treatments, radiation can tire you a little bit. I use moogoo cream or a good zinc and caster oil cream to put on my skin afterwards.
Chemotherapy again is a bit different, depends if you are going on oral or IV.
Like i say everyone is different in treatments some have side effects. Some dont.
I have been, unfortunately on 3 lines of treatments and 2 clinical trials but my cancer is a bit naughty.
Your medical team will be there to support and answer any questions.
Ask anything if you are worried never be afraid to ask, as you are the important one that advocates for you and your treatments. Thinking of you,
Keep strong lovely, let us know how you go. 🩷🩷
I’m 57. I had mastectomy end of September to evict my grade 3 mixed idc/dcis. I had an oncotype test which showed my er/pr pos, her2 neg I will benefit with chemo. I had my pixie haircut today in preparation for chemo starting next week.
I met a friend who brought her friend, who did all of this 20 years ago. She is similar age to me and she looks aammaazzing! She was very supportive, gave me lots of tips, and her phone number x
It’s really appreciated and comforting to hear your thoughts and experiences.
I have been working during diagnosis and found this has helped my peri menopausal brain!!!
I own a preschool and want to continue working, but I’m so unsure how, and if I can ??
I have high Blood pressure and have been taking medication for over a month but took my BP this morning and it was high.
Probably not helped as I had to come off my HRT really sudden.
Does anyone take anything for anxiety low dose ?
I ache all over and have been feeling pain in my boob.
I’m off to the gym tonight as I feel like I need to carry on as normal, keep busy!
Hi Positive! I’m on an anti-depressant. It’s not a high dose but it does the trick for the most part. I can be triggered easily and then have to deal with that but if I’m not triggered my physical and mental life is pretty good!
Hi Positivepants!
Welcome to the forum. Please do try to stay positive as your name suggests
I am so sorry to hear about you losing your mum to cancer at such a young age, but please try to feel positive in the fact that there have been so many medical advances in the last 20 years and we have a much better prognosis now. Also I think support is much more readily available- like this forum for example.
My situation is similar to yours 46years old- 16mm Grade 3 ER++ PR+++ HER2 negative. Ordinarily quite fit and healthy! Lump found in May, Diagnosed and operated on in July. I am hoping that this was just a blip and a wake up call to avoid stress and focus on being healthy, make sure that I take the same care of myself as I do for other people, and focus on what I want to do next with my life.
The days immediately after my operation, I thought I was fine and that I would be back to work the following week, and then I went for a walk in the hills with some friends on the Saturday which turned out to be a bit too long (several hours!) and then I was very tired off and on for the whole of the next week… My advice would be to be kind to yourself and listen to your body and not try to push yourself too hard. I reckon you should be good to go to your work Christmas dinner, even if you don’t stay as long as you normally might do <3
Best wishes with your journey forward xxx
Thank you everyone….
I’m off to get an ultrasound on my ovaries today.
I’ve had a cyst that doesn’t want to go for a while but it was checked out last year and it wasn’t suspicious…but who knows after my latest news!
I also found a mole on my back that has gone all bumpy and going to get that checked out tomorrow, I tell ya I’m falling apart!!!
I’m a bit delicate today and driving to work when a sad song comes on makes me feel sorry for myself.
I gave myself a talking to and was fine afterward.
Xxx
@mir-ie
How are you feeling now ?
Did you have to have radiotherapy or Chemo ?
I really want to be able to go to my Xmas party but I will just not dance on the tables!
I love a glass of wine of a weekend but that’s made me worry if it’s the “right thing to do” ?
It’s normal to feel like this. And please try not to worry - it’s not healthy for us. I also had a mole on my back that is raised and I felt had got bigger (it’s been there at least 8years!) so I showed it to my GP this summer and they told me it looked normal. Also I was very relieved when my routine smear came back clear. Good to get these things checked out! Hopefully noting untoward and you will feel better after. X
@positivepants1 Today I am meeting a friend who I worked with during the pandemic who I remembered had told me she had breast cancer. We have been trying unsuccessfully to meet up since last year, but I recently let her know about what’s been going on with me. I look forward to having a chat with someone else who’s been confronted will all this.
Tomorrow I am having an appointment to discuss radiotherapy. It is late for this as I was recommended to have chemo (after having initially been told I probably wouldn’t need it) and I spent time readi mg all the literature and trying to decide on whether to do it or not. In the end I have decided not to put my body through it (my personal choice) but reading on here I believe most people want to blast the cancer with everything to give themselves the best chances.
Regarding the red wine. I believe it’s still okay to have a glass at the weekend - some sources recommend it - I’m just going be much more disciplined about that not leading on to finishing the bottle with my partner! I have many friends who have given up drinking completely, which I think is great, but my plan for now is not to say never but to be able to say no. X
