Diagnosed last week, now waiting for CT scan. Terrified.

Like many people, I’ve been lurking around but now need to offload. I had a biopsy which confirmed BC but they also wanted to biopsy an abnormal looking LN. This has now been confirmed as the cancer spreading and given that I’ve been feeling ‘unwell’ for a while, I am now waiting for a CT scan (to be done on Tuesday). Fortunately, I only have to wait until Wednesday for the results but they say if it’s not clear they’ll start chemo immediately. I’m 48, mother of 4. Single parent. Like everyone in this position, the waiting is the worst part added to the fear of the unknown. I just feel so alone. I’ve got lovely friends, family, work colleagues - people who have been through it but I still feel alone. I’m a teacher and I love my job but I’ve been told I probably won’t be able to work because of the risk of infection - anyone with any experience in this? Everyone thinks I’m being very ‘brave’ but they don’t see it when I sit sobbing on the kitchen floor. It’s all emotionally exhausting!

Hi Suffolklady. I know it’s difficult, but try not to dwell too much on the not feeling right for ages meaning it may have spread. There are lots of other things which can have this result - not least being a mum of four with a very demanding job. I think most hospitals will do a CT scan if there is any node involvement, but this does not necessarily mean there is any spread. It’s all horrible, and you are alone, but you will get through all this and come out the other side. What you are feeling seems quite normal, as far as I can see. Sending lots of gentle vibes your way,

Thank you for your kind words Margaret, I’m still staying positive and I hear what you are saying about not feeling well being caused by lots of things. I have been treated for anaemia and nausea plus various sore throats/chest infections all of which can easily be explained, as you say, by my busy life! However having gone from ‘it’s just a cyst’ (in my head) to this in three weeks I’m finding it hard to stay as positive as I would normally be. Roll on Wednesday and a final diagnosis!

Hello Suffolklady

Best advice I can give is keep breathing deeply and try to keep busy between now and Wednesday. I was in a similar situation last November and unfortunatly was diagnosed with secondaries to my liver and lung, from an agressive bc. I thought the world was ending right then.

But here I am 5 months on, having finished chemo 4 weeks ago, with the secondaries having virtually disappeared and significantly reduction to the primary tumour. I’m waiting to hear what happens next.

I sincerely hope your scans will be clear and any chemo will be to reduce chance of spread. But if that’s not the case, you won’t be alone on here, there are lots of others who’ve lived with these situations for years, as you’ll find in the secondaries threads.

Good luck. Sarah

Hi suffolklady

I too had an abnormal LN when I went for my biopsy. But when I had surgery (mx and snlb) only three nodes were removed with just the one affected. I was given the option for chemo, which I took, but nobody seemed too concerned as to whether I had it or not. So things might not be as black as you think. Good luck for your scan.

Poemsgalore xx

hi there, i am not new to this site was dx in sept 2010, with ibc had all the standed treatment but come back in the breast skin, twice, then eventually chest wall and lung nodules, but i just want to say this was in 2012 in jan having treatment feeling well, had one clear scan time treatment i am on now everything stable. i hope this helps you xxx

Thank you all for your supportive comments. It seems that while there is plenty of common ground, there is much that is unique to us as individuals and I know I have to be patient to see what my final dx is, and what is planned for me. I get all of my info from this site and have never been tempted to ‘google’. Already I can see what an inspiration so many of you all are, and I can assure you that it really does make a difference. Again, Thank you and fingers crossed for some good news on Wednesday! :slight_smile:

Sorry to hear you’re feeling so anxious. I was dx at beginning of March - on chemo now - so know what it’s like when your whole world is turned upside down. I won’t say try not to worry because we all know that that’s probably not possible. But I will say it does get easier - to breathe, to sleep, to have normal conversations that aren’t all bc related and to realise you are not alone in all this. We are all here for you! Let’s hope that on Wednesday you can breathe at least one sigh of relief. xxx

I can only repeat what the other ladies have said…try not to worry … I had 1 LN involvement and had to have a scan…but the doctor did say most ladies come back clear…I felt poorly and was soooo …worried but it came back clear.
good luck Irenee xxx

Well, had the scan today - it was ok although the contrast dye to drink was horrible and they had trouble getting a needle in for the IV dye!! Now less than 24 hours to wait to see what the treatment plan is going to be. I’ve been up and down emotionally today but now feel a strange sense of calm - there is nothing I can do to change what is about to happen so I suppose my body is just preparing itself and conserving energy. what amazing things it can do!. Fingers crossed to everyone who is also waiting for results. I wish them all the very best xxxxxx

Hi Suffolklady,

Like you I am a teacher. At the moment I am in limbo land as I have been diagnosed but waiting my MRI scan. Lumpectomy and rads have been talked about so far but not chemo. Chemo is what I am dreading beacuse I love my job too. Really nope you get good news.

Sam x

Hi Suffolklady
Good luck for your results tomorrow. It’s now 5 years since I was in exactly the same place as you are now. I’m fine.

Hi Suffolklady

Good luck for your results today - I am sure all will be good :slight_smile:

love & soft hugs
Martha xx

Thank you all - I confess that I didn’t sleep at all - despite popping a sleeping pill - but am now up with my hot water and lemon and ready to face the day. Appt isn’t until 4.15 so I’m going to paint my bedroom to keep me busy.
Sam - I’m dreading chemo for the same reason as I’ve had conflicting advice about working. Children do seem to be ill quite a lot!! Fingers crossed that you won’t have to have it and will get back to your classes soon. Some of my class sent me ‘Get Well Soon’ cards and that had me reaching for the tissues!! Let me know how you get on after your scan.
Love to you all for your thoughts and hugs - sending mine back out there for all of you xxxxx

The wait is over, the scan was clear!! Hurrah - Now surgery, chemo, rads and Tamoxifen seem so do-able. Thank you for your wise words and support xxxx