Diagnosed last week & started Letrozole

Diagnosed with breast cancer Recently diagnosed with breast cancer
1

Hi 

I am new to this forum and diagnosed with IDC last week after recall to Breast clinic where I had repeat mammogram, USS and biopsy. I was overwhelmed but grateful to Consultant Radiologist for telling me then and there that it looked suspicious. 
I saw Surgeon week later with breast nurse who I can’t say seemed very sympathetic! Started on Letrozole and awaiting surgery in 6 weeks.

I feel alone / I’ve told my immediate family and one friend. It’s so difficult when not seeing friends face to face to tell them. I really don’t know how I should be feeling…work have allowed me to WFH this week but head not really in work mode…I’m being expected to go back in next week but this all feels so surreal that I don’t think I’ve taken it in properly yet.

I’m worried I’ll run out of paid sick time if I go sick now. It should be the last thing I’m thinking about but I seem to be obsessing about work

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Hi PJWWOO,

Welcome to the forum and sorry to hear you’ve joined the club. There’s a bunch of wonderful women on here, all at different stages of diagnosis and treatment. Lots of support, advice, women who get it, and can be there through your journey.

You can also access nurses at BCN by phone or by the contact a nurse part of the forum, plus useful info on the BCN main page. Plus a scheme called someone like me…where BCN can introduce you to someone who has been through a similar diagnosis for chat/support. 

We are all different and some people need time to absorb what’s going on before telling friends. Others just feel they need to let friends know asap. I can see it’s tricky not seeing people face to face at the moment (zoom just isn’t the same), however I’m sure your friends would want you to tell them by whatever means.

Re not knowing how you are supposed to feel - there is no right or wrong way to feel. You feel as you do, it’s a shock being diagnosed, so just be kind to yourself, and take one day at a time. 

Re work - good that you could work from home this week and more than understandable you are finding it hard to focus. Most GP’s and employers think it more than reasonable to need time off sick with the shock of diagnosis and start of treatments. I do understand your concern about sick pay…if you don’t mind my asking have you checked how much sick leave you can have, at various levels of pay, or statutory sick? If not check your employment contract and/or employers policies. 

Your comment that you feel like you are obsessing about work…could it be that you are thinking about work since you are feeling a tad panicked, or feel it’s the only thing you can almost control (when you can’t control your diagnosis)? I think I had a touch of that when I was first diagnosed until a good friend, not mincing her words, put me straight! Only you, perhaps with some advice from your GP can decide what’s best re time off sick. Most GP’s are really good at seeing how a bc diagnosis is affecting us. I actually said to my GP I didn’t know if I should be off sick (while there with a very bruised boob after the core needle biopsy)! She left it up to me, but was very clear in her response! 

As someone who doesn’t know you (so please feel free to ignore), it sounds like you need some time to digest, something that’s easier to do without stressing about work and a bc diagnosis? Also reducing stress while your body is dealing with bc can only be a good thing…(unless you are from the minority who have jobs which stop them stressing - but it really doesn’t sound that way). 

If you decide to work next week…

  • Is there anything about your role which you can’t do working from home?
  • Clearly wfh was ok this week. So is there a specific reason your employer doesn’t want you to wfh next week?
  • Is this just coming from your line manager? Is there anyone above them or a separate HR department?
  • The reason I’m asking is that from the point of diagnosis with bc you are protected by disability legislation under the Equalities Act 2010. This means your employer is legally obliged to make “reasonable adjustments”. If your job can be done just as well from home then they should let you do so. Please see link below for a bit more info:
  • breastcancernow.org/information-support/facing-breast-cancer/living-beyond-breast-cancer/life-after-breast-cancer-treatment/breast-cancer-employment      

I really hope the above helps in some way - please do reply - it’s so hard when it’s all new and you have a wait for surgery. I just wanted to get the lump out of me…   

I’m sure others will post soon,

Sending virtual hugs,

XXX Seabreeze (6 years on, doing ok, a forum hanger-on’er)!

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Hi PJWWOO

I’m sorry to hear your news. I just wanted to add to Seabreeze’s excellent response that Macmillan runs a helpline and one of its options is work-related matters. I know that other people have received sound and sympathetic advice so I’d suggest you consider talking to the experts. At least then you’ll be on firmer ground when negotiating with your boss. So much depends on the size of the firm and the strength of their HR but most remain ignorant about cancer and its impact. Sadly, 6 months SSP can run out very quickly if you are having the full works (but you may well have a selection of treatments that take less time) but Macmillan can advise you on alternative options so you don’t have to work when you simply cannot focus well enough to do the job to your standards.

All the best with what lies ahead. Looking after your emotional wellbeing right now should be a priority. Remember, we’re here, we’ve all been through it or are going through it - so it must be manageable.

Jan x

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Hi PJWWOO

Hello, my darlin girl.

I’m totally knocked out by Seabreeze’s BRILLIANTLY helpful response () and Jaybro’s also.

A BC diagnosis is difficult enough in “normal” times, but THAT much MORE difficult for anyone in Co-vid, and unable to easily and physically access their network of family and friends for much needed support. Plus your work “worries” aren’t helping you, are they. Stress is NOT a good thing for you right now.

A number of people I know have used MacMillans to successfully help them with work matters, even to the point where they will “help you” fill in/out relevant important forms/applications, eg for PIP etc.

I sooo hope you go on okay with your meds. You didn’t say what surgery you’ll be having?? Please keep in touch with we Forum women, let us know how you’re doing, whichever thread you choose. I think you’ll find it so INVALUABLE. A great place to vent, complain, rant, as well as helpful advice, support and hopefully a few giggles thrown in at times. Don’t let me start telling my old old list of Xmas cracker jokes, that nobody else wants to hear any MORE, they’ve heard them over and . . . . . Ahhh shut up you rotten lot. I’ve a new pair of ears, so I’ll tell 'em if she wants to hear. Okay, I’ll save for another time, but . . . . Why do Giraffes have loong necks - - - - because they have such smelly feet (of course, why else?). People on the Forum want to help you, so please make good use of it. Don’t ever think you’re being a pain or a “moan”. Moan away, sweetheart, you’ll be in the company of other fellow women who so get what you’re going through.

Lotsa lurrrrv, Dellypoos  xxxx