Hello all,
Well blimey that was emotional. I was fine until about 11 o’clock and then the nearer I got to midnight the worse I got. Thank god we didnt go out. I was really feeling sorry for myself yesterday. Its the first day since the diagnosis I have really cried at length. Poor Phil…very soggy shoulders!!!
Well thats all really just a large dose of self pitty.
Oh and I am in Middlewich (Cheshire). Nearly forgot. oops.
Hope you are all keeping your spirits up. Love and Luck. Shonagh xx
Hi Custard
I can totally understand as I was EXACTLY the same. I was OK most the night then about 11I just suddenly got really upset and couldnt stop crying. I dont think it had really hit me that my breasts were going and how much I was going to miss them until then. Dont worry about self pity, long as ure not wollowing in it its healthy, sometimes we need a release.
Hope ure feeling a bit better today. (((huggs)))
M
Hi Melanie,
I was fine until I watched Pollyanna and have just cried again BUMMER!! Phil(hubby) has just finished de Chrismasing the house so its back to normal. He’s getting the house together for post op making up spare bed and putting a telly in the bedroom. Bless him. He is being a rock, his Dad died in January 2007 of lung Cancer so I think he’s more stressed than he’s letting on but putting a brave face on it.
((Hugs)) are always greatfully received thank you so much and (((Hugs))) right back at you. Any news on dates for the op for you or are you having treatement first.
I’m off to pre op appointment tomorrow.
Love and Luck. Shonagh (AKA Custard) xxx
Hi Shonagh
Hope ure starting to feel a bit better now. Its good that u got the lakes to look forward to and take ure mind off stuff. Where do you live?
Ure poor hubby must be beside himself after his Dad dying last yr then u getting dx with cancer. Its great that he is a rock for you. Not sure how I’d b managing if not for the fantastic support I am getting from my hubby.
No news for my op date yet. I am expecting my consultation for it will be nxt week.
Take care
M
x
p.s woops sorry u already answered that - Cheshire 
Hello all,
Just got home from my last day at work before the op. Had a 2 hour(yes 2 hour!!!) conversation with the head of human resources about the future and strangely howhard it is to find an outfit for the xmas party??? Well it beat working. It was abit emotional saying goodbye to people, especially when the blokes kept hugging me but managed to get a grip of myself half way down the M56 until I got home where I found a picture from the kids over the road wishing me good luck for the op. More tears, blimey when does it stop.
Well we are off to the lakes tomorrow. Turning off the phones and having an indulgence weekend tosay farewell to my nipple and a chunk of breast. Off to see the consultant tomorrow in the morning to talk about how he is going to do the scars etc. I went for my pre op on Wednesday and met my other BC nurse. Both of them are lovely. Ironically I am fit as a butchers dog and as I have lost 10lbs since finding the original lump havent looked better in ages. Not that that says much believe me. I have always had a body image problem but never mind thats the way it goes.
Well thats all for now. I will catch up with you all when I get back on Sunday. I hope you all have a lovely weekend and if the snow falls near you its pretty to look at and not that horrible wet sludge. We all need a bit of pretty in our lives.
Mel: Hope the wait isnt too long and keep your chin up and hope you and Sue set the dance floor on fire on saturday
Please take care all, thank you for your support and love and luck to all.
Shonagh xx
hi all,
Come home yesterday after the op. Surgeon said all went well. Need to wait for two weeks b4 results. I’m was on a high yesterday when I came home but this evening i think its all catching up with me and i feel drained. Its hard to rest with 3 kids anyhow. Im very bruised and my armpit hurts - a bit like tightness and burning at the same time.
Mel - i live in birmingham. Soz for not getting in touch sooner.
How are you? My brain has gone all scatty - not like me at all.
Sukes
Hey ladies,
Well the lakes were lovely, very relaxing and managed to find a lovely garnet necklace and bracelet for my best friends 40th birthday in Ambleside. I was determined to get it before I started with the hospital. Her birthday is the 21st January and I wasnt too sure if I will be ok for shopping or not.
I saw my consultant on Friday before the trip to Windermere who drew where my scar is coing to be and discussed how much is going to be gone. Very reassured its going to look a bit strange but worse things happen. They had to take more blood it appears I have some anti bodies they need to cross match just in case I need a transfusion. Only problem is my veins really dont want to give up my blood. They struggled with the first lot on Wednesday so have bruises on both arms already. They ended up getting the chemo nurse to find a vein that would bleed, and ended up getting it from just below my index finger knuckle!!!
Thank you all for they lovely messages. I will be back on the flip side.
Love and luck to all
Shonagh xx
Sorry to hog the thread but just just got to get this off my chest…ARRRRRRGGGGG!!!. Telephoned the hospital this morning to find out where my bed is. Check in today at 4pm. All sorted was on my mobile to Mum telling where I was and the land line rang. My surgeon has a cold. I now have to race up to the hospital at 4pm today to meet the new surgeon and I am re sheduled for Wednesday. I know I should be grateful its only one extra day but I was all geared up for admittance today op tomorrow. If it was a basic lumpectomy I think I may have been fine but losing the nipple is proving quite emotional and I cant believe how upset I am!!!
Sorry for going on but **!!!%£^&* to it all.
Shonagh xx
Custard,
Don’t let this beat you… Form your comments your a strong lady. Just think when its all over you can move on with your life. I know its hard but your have to be strong. When its out your half way there thats the way i see it.
hope all goes well for tomorrow.
Sukes
Hi Shonagh,
Its horrid when your admission date gets changed. The nipple loss was the thing that got to me the most as well but I’m over it and having one tattooed in February.
Good luck on Wednesday.
Sukes- do the bare minimum at home. It is hard with children around but they will get the idea. You need to recover and rest as much as possible.
Take care,
Kat
Hi Ladies
I’m due to getmy results from the op next wednesday and i’m really really scared. i know its ductal invasive but i scared it might of bot into to my lymp glands which they removed. I keep thinking the worst case senario. I don’t know what to do?
Hi
Sorry for not replying sooner. Was away at the weekend then came down with flu and sinusitis, grrrr!!!
Shonagh - Sorry to hear about ure surgery being delayed. Hopefully all has been done now and you are currently on the mend. Let us know how u are gettin on as soon as u r able.
Sukes - Sending you healing thoughts
Still no date for my op yet 
Hate all the waiting around. I have a consultation a week tomorrow so hopefully I will be given a date then. Booked a long weekend away starting tomorrow so least that will pass some time and take my mind off things for a little while.
M
xx
Hello all,
Blimey well the last few days have been a roller coaster to say the least. I went in on Tues night (no idea why) couldnt sleep, was in a really quiet ard with only four to a room and only two beds taken including mine but as it was a womens unit mainly for gyno problems there were two emergency admissions in the middle of the night and the phone kept ringing. Got taken down at 8.00am as first on the list, saw the surgeon and everone else and this is the big news. Didnt want to tempt fate but the change in surgeon was the best thing that could have happened as Mr Sharif is a oncoplastic surgeon and he has tried to save my nipple. I still have to wait until the hystology comes back to know for sure but at the minute it is still there. I will find out on Tuesday when I get the nodes results and my treatment shedule. At the minute I am still expecting to lose it as I keep preparing myself for the worst(another op) so I dont get upset but you never know it may just stay.
I got to go home the same day as the operation (yesterday) as there are no drains HURRAY!!! so got a decent nights sleep. My boob doesnt hurt at all not even a twinge but my armpit is quite sore though considering what a mardy pants I am its fine, just parecetomol and asprin and doing OK as long as I dont push it so anyone waiting for a lumpectomy its not that bad. Fingers crossed for clear nodes and margins.
Thanks everyone for hugs and wishes.
Mel: Hope you have a great time away. Where have you gone? I cant believe you are still waiting for a date. My surgeon booked me in on the day of diagnosis. I am being treated as Stockport Stepping Hill (or locally known as step in ill step out better) and everything seems to move very quickly so give them a ring and a rocket or get your GP to chase it up.
Sukes: I know how you feel, I was on bit of a high yesterday as nipple still in tact(for now) but I know I need to calm down until Tuesday and the nodes/clearance results.Its hard. When is your results appointment?
Hugs love and luck to everyone
Shonagh xx
Hi Shonagh
Wow, I have everything crossed that you get to keep ure nipple. Glad to hear ure handing the pain side of it well. More horrid waiting for results but hope its all good news.
Went to York salsa dancing with my friends last weekend then off to Carlise tomorrow for a long weekend with hubby. Just trying to keep myself busy.
Yeah it does seem to be going slow. Everything was so rushed through at the beginning, has the excisional with in a week of my consultation, but now I been diagnosed with low grade DCIS its like its no longer urgent (which medically I guess its not). Over four weeks from my diagnosis till my nxt consultation then however long from that till the op. The waiting is unbearable, Im having constant nightmares about how Im losing my breasts.
Take care. Let me know how it goes on Tue. All the best to you
M
x
Hi, this is the first time that I have commented but have been an avid reader on this site since being diagnosed on the 12th December, I go in for a Lumpectomy and axillary node sample tomorrow, I just wanted to say that it has been a real roller coaster but having read Custards last comments, she has really put my mind at ease. Thankyou.
Val
Val: Hope by the time you read this you are feeling better and are home. I’m really glad it made you feel better and well done for jumping in with a posting. This site has been my life line. There is always someone out there who knows just what to say and usually have the answers too. God bless honey and hope to hear from you soon.
Mel: Hope you are having a great time and when you read this you are well rested and ready for the next stage. You are being so brave about the wait and my thoughts are constantly with you ( I think its because of the xmas eve diagnosis. When Phil and I were driving home after the results I actually said to him “there will be loads of women out there who have just been told the same” and there you were) I am having as bit of a wierd day today I have only got until Tuesday to wait for the results and thats driving me nuts so my thoughts and bestest wishes are sent your way.
I hope Sukes and Kat are good too. Fingers crossed Sukes I will be looking out for you and Kat thanks for the encouragement its what keeps me going and makes me realise just how lucky I am to be sent good vibes from lovely lovely people.
Love Shonagh xx
Hi Shonagh,
Good to read that things are going well. I hope the nipple is a success. I had my pre-op on wednesday but have to wait until the 27th Feb for the tattooing!
Take care,
Kat x
Hi all,
Kat: thats quite a wait for the tattoo but after looking at the photos on the net and speaking to a friend who has seen a documentary they look like they are really good.
I have to go and shower now, my Mum is insisting on visiting so as I have mouldered in bed for two days now I think my pits are reselmbling brie!!!
Getting a bit anxious about Tuesday dont know which is worse dreading having the dressings off and being able to look atmy slightly odd shaped boob for the first time or learning they may have not got it all and the niplle will begoing after all. I hope the node is clear most of all my arm pitis really uncomfortable (not painful) so god know how the full clearance feels. I am such a whimp!!!
Well off to delouse. Love to all Shonaghxx
Hi all,
Sorry for the delay in not getting in touch recently but I’ve been on the pepsi max at blackpool really up and down so I have tried to avoid alot of things - just hope i don’t fall into a state of depression!. My brother come over today and I was asking him types of questions like if god wanted to hurt me why do it now - my kids are only 1,4 & 7. My husband hasn’t got a bad bone in his body if anything I’m the bitch in the relationship so make him go through this with me he doesn’t deserve it? - My brother then gave me his phone and said phone GOD and ask him why? If you keep on beating yourself up like this your going get yourself even worse. Half the battle is mentally and thats what I’m struggling - i don’t smoke or drink, i’m only 7st 8ish, had 2 kids b4 30 breast feed the last two for 9 months each, don’t eat red meat do exercise and it doesn’t run in the family so WHY???
I’m sorry for going on about myself because I know we are all suffering in one way or another. i keep telling myself that this is a test but what exactly I don’t know. Sometimes I keep saying I have been chosen by god so I can help others but at the moment I;m just about helping myself.
I need to be mentally strong and this is so not like me …here i go on again its all Me mememememememememe and I need to stop.
Sorry ladies - hope you guys are feeling better than me!
Sukes
Its the waiting for the results thats doing it !