Will do thank you lovely x
Thank you for replies. I’m calmer. My ex has been great, stayed the past two nights, and has been around most of today. I have reached out to friends, people have been amazing.
I have a feeling I’m going to be stage IV at diagnosis, I’ve always thought this was up the road for me. It wouldn’t be a surprise. Hence the terror, and the agony of not knowing. I should have some more information tomorrow.
If that is the case I will accept it, and make a different life. I have long thought that the stress of my job would give me cancer, my body is going to make it stop. I have been told now, my body has reacted to it all. It’s been an awful five days.
I am not being melodramatic about the stage IV fears. I have my surgeon’s mobile number and she said I could text with questions. My CT was done last Thursday, and I have no news. I sent a text yesterday saying I was in agony waiting, think I am stage IV and would prefer to be told over the phone than wait. I got a reply on Monday night, saying she would chase the report this morning, she knew the waiting was the worst, and would update me asap. All day a deafening silence. It’s been agony. But I am coming to terms with worst case scenarios.
I’ll post on here when I know. Thank you everyone.
I’m glad to hear that you are calmer and have some support now. I hope your results come through very soon and that it isn’t as bad as you fear . When something like this happens it makes you review your life and question a lot of things but talk it through before you make any snap decisions.
The waiting is horrendous
A week before I find out details of how bad it is / treatment needed & I just can’t sleep
Up 24hrs now despite trying to sleep
Can’t say anything different than what has already been said but I will reiterate that we are all here for you. We know the agony of waiting and we know the shock of finding out you have BC.
You will get through this and will carve a new life that’s even more valuable than the one you have now. It’s an opportunity to reshape what really matters despite what stage you are at.
I bet every person here can mention at least one thing they have changed since diagnosis that has been for the better.
Sending you lots of love and strength
We have all been there and now we are here for you. I can see from the lovely messages that you have had we all care.
I would like to wish you, health and happiness going forward, also a cup of tea with that special friend goes a long way.
Keep posting, letting us know how you are getting on.
Big hugs Tili
So, I got much better news than I was expecting!!
- CT CAP clear
- despite 5 nodes ‘positive’ according to ultrasound criteria the core biopsy of the node taken last week came back NEGATIVE
- mass is IDC grade 3 (knew it would be grade 3, it’s superficial, I’m skinny, and I know it was new, so it grew quickly)
- no receptor status back yet
- pre-op assessment Wednesday
- surgery as day case 4th December
It’s been a crazy few days. I always knew I’d get breast cancer, and I do breast exams as part of my job. When I found it, I knew instantly. But my fear and expectation was always that I’d be stage IV at diagnosis. I was wrong. But in the awful few days between having the CT on Thursday and getting results, I kind of faced up to stage IV, and I knew I’d cope, I processed it and made plans. So I’m feeling like I changed the script. I’m no longer freaking out and I am really upbeat.
Also told my kids, which I was dreading, I didn’t want to tell them until I knew what was what. One is many miles away, so I had to tell her via video call, which I felt awful about, but she was among friends, and making a special trip to see her, to deliver bad news, seemed worse. Keeping her in the dark wasn’t an option, either.
The other one I told F2F, with her dad, my ex, there.
They dealt with it really well, and I was very upbeat, and still am.
I am not scared, or worried now, just want to crack on. Ive totally got this.
Thanks everyone for being here. Xx
I understand the thoughts going through your head.I waited until I knew the diagnosis and treatment plan before I told my family. But, it did help to tell a neighbour (especially as she’d had a recent lumpectomy (non cancerous) so that if I needed to talk about how I was feeling, I didn’t need to put my anxieties on my kids.
my experience of cancer care was fantastic. I was so well cared for by all the teams involved from mammogram to radiotherapy (finished that this week) so try not to feel alone- there’s always someone to talk to if you need to. My kids though a bit shocked we’re grateful that I saved them the anxious wait for diagnosis though mum and mum in law both said- why didn’t you tell us? I’m sure they were pleased to be spared that wait too.
Oh Georgie. So relieved for you. It is more common than not in breast cancer world to have our fears be just that. And not reality. Glad that was your experience And good luck. I had a grade 3 and I just got cracking on, too.
Yes, it’s unreal, scary, mind numbing, all of these strong emotions. I’ve been treated for bony mets for about 90 days now.
So please you have come to the forum, we are all around for for you. Wishing you well with your treatment for a good outcome.
I’m wishing you health and happiness going forward. Keep posting and letting us know how you’re getting on. I always say one day at a time.
Biggest hugs Tili
I’m glad it wasn’t as bad as you feared the places we go in our imagination - even though f it’s just in an effort to prepare are ourselves are often the worst places .
Wishing you all the best for your treatment and recovery.
This has made my day! So pleased for you. You can now move forward and eventually put all this behind you xx
I had every expectation my cancer would be ER +ve, took the Pill, HRT, did egg donation, and its what my mum had.
But it’s not. It scored 0/8 for hormone receptors. Her2 result is pending still.
But it’s looking likely to be triple negative disease - obviously this is a completely different game.
Either way, I will be having chemotherapy.
Im not having lumpectomy on Monday now, just sentinel node biopsy.
The lump is staying in for now - although it’s small, if it’s triple negative leaving it in situ and having neo-adjuvant chemotherapy can allow response to be monitored. If Her2 comes back positive it will be coming out. X
Georgie, remember that yes treatment may be a different ballgame but the results have become quite comparable. I’m so sorry you’ll be having more strenuous treatment but you caught it early and there is no reason to think your response won’t be like the rest of us. Triple negative has come a long way. Thank goodness…
Thank you Kay. Have you had triple negative breast cancer?
I am worried the sentinel node will come back positive on histopath, despite the two core biopsies of the lymph node being negative.
I had 5 axillary nodes that were ‘positive by ultrasound criteria’.
After this shock with the receptors I don’t trust core biopsy result - or my luck - any more.
I’ve not had triple negative but I’m well read so there’s that. At any rate there is immunotherapy for it now and although chemo is a bugger, it does work quite well on the cells since they tend to be fast growing. And although I get the shock of this, it’s not like triple negative is unheard of. It’s not as common as hormone positive of course but plenty of people get it so it’s not rare. Remember that as you doubt your core biopsies which are quite accurate. The lymph nodes could be swollen due to inflammation (which since your biopsies were fine is probably exactly what is happening). And of course you’re worried about the histopath, we all were, but that’s not going to happen until surgery which reads it’s occurring after chemo. Chemo is going to do quite a number on your little jerk and that includes lymph nodes. Chances are super high they’re going to read fine in pathology. Remember all of your scans came back without spread. This is caught early and treatment is a great equalizer. You’ve got a grade 3 which normally melts once chemo touches it. This treatment will suck but there is no reason to think you won’t be like the majority of people and have it work. One day at a time here…
Im having the sentinel node biopsy under GA on Monday morning.
Not having lumpectomy.
I had core biopsies of LN under USS guidance at clinic - they were negative. When I say ‘the histopath’ I’m talking about the sentinel node(s) coming out on Monday. I’m worried that will show I am ‘node-positive’ after all.
Sorry if I didn’t explain very clearly.
Oh! So they’re going ahead and doing a sentinel node biopsy before chemo so that they’ll know for sure what’s going on. Smart. I know very stressful for you but they’ll know and can address if something unexpected is going on. But again, unexpected is just that. A sentinel biopsy is accurate more than 90% of the time and that’s a pretty big percentage. I know this is horrifically stressful but thank goodness you are moving quick. You seem like you’ll have all your answers within a week and can start addressing this so that you never have to hear the word “breast cancer” again in reference to yourself.