Anticipating my biopsy results which felt like a life time wait today I finally got my results… me, happy go lucky always so full of life has breast cancer. I still don’t think it’s hit me, nurses explaining IVF and mastectomy just totally going over my head. They’ve proposed chemotherapy first followed by surgery… I’m scared confused numb it all feels surreal. Any shared experiences would be really useful to know! X
Hi Maxi,
I am so sorry that you find yourself on here - I am fairly new to this (1week post op) so probably not the best person to advise you but I read your post and wanted to reach out.
There are lots of ladies on here who really know their stuff and I’m sure will have lots of advice.
I would say I’ve found this forum very helpful and the Macmillan website - don’t bother with anything else - there is a lot of old / misinformed and crackpot stuff out there.
When you have your meetings with your medical team it’s a good idea to write down the questions you want to ask and write the answers or even record the meeting if that’s ok. I know I’ve come out of meetings and have missed most of what’s been said as I’ve just focused on one part and my husband wasn’t much better. That’s the other thing, take someone with you, their support is invaluable.
I told my close friends and family and on the whole they have been wonderful . I told my line manager and immediate work colleagues and,again they have been great.
You will go through a kaleidoscope of feelings day to day - that’s ok. If you need help ask for it. One of the most helpful things my family/ friends did was to provide meals for the week following my op and that has been so good not to have to think about cooking and feeding me, my son and husband.
Listen to your body - if you need to take it easy do so, I had it in my head that I would have the op and be back to normal a few days later - that was unrealistic and I have taken it really easy, watched loads of rubbish on tv, slept and feel better for it.
I felt like you when I first found out - totally surreal. It didn’t really become real until the day of the op. A Lot of this is a waiting game and that seems the hardest bit for me.
Have faith in your medical team - they are very experienced but don’t feel afraid to ask questions.
You will get through this and apologies for the cliche but it is one day at a time. Xo
Hi Madi, I’m sending you a big hug and just letting you know this is a good place to come for support. It is a really terrifying place to be, but as my consultant said, if you have to have cancer then BC’s the one to have. You have more on your mind than most of us, but your medical team will really really be there for you. They want the very best outcomes. There is another section on here called Someone Like Me, and you might find a young BC sufferer like yourself to buddy up with and get advice. I coped by splitting it into baby steps; diagnosis, pathway, operation etc. My mind couldn’t cope with the full picture at first. I’m into chemo now, so that’s big step two, big step three will be radiotherapy. A notebook is good, both to ask questions of your team, and also to vent. It’s ok to cry, be angry, be frightened, no one knows better about that than the members of this club. At the end of the day , it’s a survivors club, a warriors club, and the battle you are about to enter WILL be won. Others will be along soon to help you. Much love. X
Hi Madi, I’m sorry you find yourself here, as welcome as you are to the forum we would rather you didn’t need to join especially at your age, The best advice we can give is to not google too much and be led by the team looking after you, breast cancer is very individual and your treatment is tailored to you. It’s come a long way and although things may seem impossible now it’s all doable and the out looks are extremely good for the majority of us, you are young and strong and that will help you though what’s to come . Try and take things one step at a time and focus on ticking off each stage as it happens, before you know it you will be out the other side and the one reassuring others! Xx Jo
Hi Madi,
Although sorry to see you here, but a big hug & welcome to you.
I just want to endorse the wise words everyone has said below.
Glad you’ve found us & do come on & chat or vent whenever you need to.
ann x
Madi123,
Big hugs for you, I know you will be feeling so confused right now and feel that you will never get your head around all of this but I can assure you that you will. I was diagnosed a few weeks ago then had various different tests, lots of waiting on results being told a game plan then it changing because the next set of results come back not as expected etc. I was a mess each day turning to a new obsession to focus my worry on, how long I was waiting for treatment, has it spread, what should I eat, what couldn’t I eat, what lotions can I use, its the unknown, waiting and fear it all plays havoc on your mind. The point im getting at is earlier this week I finally had all results back and my treatment plan put in place with a date and it has helped so much, over night a weight was lifted and i feel now for the first time that I can and will get through this. I now realise the weeks of agonising waiting, tests and appointments had all been in my best interest and the more the doctors learn early on about your situation the better the treatment will be tailored for you so it is worth it although you can not appreciate it at the time - just hold in there and it will get easier.
So me: 37 years old, Grade 2, ER+ PR+ Her2- lymph nodes tested positive with strong family history (this is why last minute my surgery and chemo was swapped and as suggested maybe for you. I will now have chemo first (starting 22nd MAy) this was decided only a few days ago so does not leave me time for egg preservation!
I really think you need if possible to try and contact some younger people that you can speak with as they will understand from a younger perspective what you are going through.
I wish you all the best and ill be thinking of you. xxxx
Thank you ladies 
I feel better today the support from everywhere is overwhelming and I’m determined to get through this stronger. I have been recommended a mastectomy which i am REALLY dreading im considering a lumpectomy instead but don’t know if it outweighs the risk. Is the decision on what type of surgery based on the stage of the cancer because I havnt found out mine yet but the consultant already suggested the mastectomy ? ? Confusing !
Hi Madi I was diagnosed 9 weeks ago and I was in a terrible state. I was determined I didn’t want a masectomy or chemo. Turns out I need both but I’ve surprised myself how well I’ve dealt with it. I’ve had my op and a reconstruction now and quite pleased with the results it’s never goinf to be my boob but I actually call that a thing now haha! Due to start chemo in next few weeks. This first week of waiting for results is definitely the worst and it honestly does get better. I know it’s hard to believe right now. I was the worst person with anxiety and worry at first but it has got easier. If you look at my previous posts you will see how bad I was. Hang on in there… you will be up and down with emotions as I was and still am! If your on Facebook theirs a secret group young breast cancer network with girls your age so it might help. I’m not as young as you at 38 but I am on there and found it’s a good support. Sending a big hug xx
And as for a masectomy the thoughts of it is definitely far worse than the actual op. I was determined I didn’t want one same as you… I had tumours in the full bottom half of breast and behind nipple and I was just going to get half my boob off. My surgeon didn’t force me into anything but im glad I listened to what he said as turned out I had lots of pre cancer in my full Boob and 5 small tumours Instead of the 3 they originally thought. You won’t be forced I to anything bit listen to what they say as they know what’s best. I know it’s hard to get your head round and imagine but they van do amazing reconstructions now. Mine just looks like I’ve had a Boob Job xx
I’m sorry to hear you have joined this group. I’m sure you are devastated. All I can say is that breast cancer is treatable. I’m only diagnosed myself and I know it’s like being taken on a journey that you don’t want to be on.
Everyone here will be a great support to you, so if you have any worries or concerns share them. This forum has been a source of support to me. Hugs Kim
Hi, my name is Sheila and I live in Colorado. I found your forum today and am so excited to know that their are others who are out there dealing with breast cancer. I I would like to join in if that is ok? How would I start a new subject? Thank you.
Hi Sheila,
Welcome to the forum, although sorry to see you here. Although this is a UK site, there are quite a few ladies from across the pond on here, as well as from elsewhere.
To post a new topic, just go to the previous page where the threads are listed & click ‘new topic’ at the top to get started.
There is loads of support here from all of us here, whether at the stage you’re ar now or further down the road & out the other side.
ann x