Diagnosed today

Hi, it’s the middle of the night and I can’t sleep… I’m 34 yrs old with two daughters aged 10 and 2. Today I had an appointment at the breast clinic for a hard mass in my left breast, I wouldn’t even describe it as a lump, just a mass. I had a mammogram, an ultrasound and biopsy and have been told despite them not having the results yet they are very sure this is a cancer. I’m absolutely destroyed! Can’t get my head round this. I have a supportive partner and my poor 70 year old mum who is the most supportive mum ever but I can’t believe this is happening to us all. I’ve not told my 10 year old yet as she will be distraught. We lost my dad 4 years ago to cancer and she’s only just coming to terms with this. I don’t know what else to say, I don’t know how we’re going to get through this.

Hi Laura, I was diagnosed on Monday after waiting 2 weeks for the biopsy. I’m 32 with 3 children 12,7 and 5 months. I’m devastated but I have been told it is very treatable but it is going to be tough journey. I no it’s scary but please try and stay calm wait for the biopsy results to come back before you speak to your daughter then that way you will have a better picture of what you are dealing with. It my sound strange but when you no everything a sense of calm comes over you because you have a plan. Don’t get me wrong it is still scary but you will be told so many positives that it makes it easier to focus on that. When I told the oldest he was very upset because he hears cancer and assumes it’s a death sentence but after a lot reassurance he has calmed down of course I will be keeping an eye on him I have told him if he wants to scream shout or cry I will be there with him. The breast cancer nurse has also said that if he wants she can sit down with him and he can ask her any questions he wants. The nurse also gave me a book so I could explain it to my 7 year old called mummy and her lump. I no it’s a scary time and bloody sucks! But there is such good treatment plans now that it will be treated and eventually this will all be a bad dream.
Jess x

Hi Laura, 


Im sorry you have to join us but a very warm welcome ? They do try to be as honest as they can be at the breast clinics but you have still come away with uncertainty which is the hardest thing of all to cope with. 


Try not to think about the bigger picture and just focus on getting your results first and then take it from there. Coping with this in stages makes things a whole lot easier, deal with the facts as they happen, endless speculation will drive you deeper in to a state of anxiety and looking for answers and trying to second guess everything is fruitless. We all here know this from experience and I personally wish I could go back and tell my frightened newly diagnosed self that! 


It is devastating to be told you might have cancer and especially so with a young family when it should be the last thing on your mind but you certainly are not alone, we have ladies your age and some younger across the forum, there will always be someone who knows exactly what you are going through. 


Right now it feels like your life has been turned on it’s head and things will never be right again, that’s a normal reaction and you will go through many stages before you come to accept things, try not to fight it but equally hang on to your fighting spirit, it’s in there and the despair will begin to lift.

More and more of us are getting through treatment and going on with life with out any further issues.


Get a definite diagnosis first,  they don’t always get it right! Xx Jo 

Such a positive post Jess and I’m sure will help Laura to see she’s certainly not alone in this! Wishing you all the best with your treatment Xx Jo 

Thank you Jo I believe always focus on the positive otherwise the negative will just destroy you x

Thank you for your replies. I feel like I’m feel more ill today than I was yesterday, perhaps because just knowing I’ve got that inside of me. I didn’t sleep all night, feel an absolute wreck today. I feel like I’m breathless and so am worrying it’s already spread to my lungs. I know I’m thinking negatively I just can’t snap out of it right now. I need to turn this around but mentally and physically feel awful already! ?

Hi Laurah,
It’s the anxiety & stress that’s doing it, you are in shock at the moment, it’s quite usual to have other physical symptoms when first diagnosed, many of us have been there.
As Jo & Jess have said, the only way to deal with it, is to take it a stage at a time & try not to get into the ‘what ifs’ when you don’t have the full picture. If the diagnosis is confirmed, then it will be dealt with & it does settle down when the treatment plan is confirmed.
Do come & chat or vent whenever you need to, you’re not alone.
Sending hugs
ann x