I have today been diagnosed with secondary bc to bones and liver. I am taking it all in it’s stride and relatively calm, however tomorrow is another day. The consultant said he is talking living with it for years, but clearly it is extremely worrying and I know there is certainly no guarantees. I am concerned for my husband who reacted much worse than me plus I haven’t told anyone about the tests. I am holiday next week and don’t intend to tell anyone until way after that and hopefully after Christmas. I am lucky enough to still have elderly parents & an extremely elderly Mum in Law, goodness who wants to tell them this news??? Plus my son & daughter in law and all my wonderful friends. I won’t be having chemo or rads so maybe I don’t need to tell them, other than our son and daughter in law? Maybe work on a need to know basis? I am more concerned about those things than anything else. I was exactly the same when diagnosed first time around.
Thanks for reading and hopefully responding with some words of wisdom.
Hi. So sorry to hear about your diagnosis today…I can relate to how you feel and I’m sure so many others on the forum will too. I’m sure you are feeling numb at the moment trying to take or all in? My husband took it badly too and to hear “secondaries” you immediately think the worst as far as prognosis is concerned. I have secondaries in my bones too and diagnosed 3 months ago, but please be reassured the treatments out there now are so good that people do and still are living for years with secondaries. I personally needed to tell my family and friends as I needed all the support I could get, but everyone copes differently and there is no right or wrong way. I’m very positive and intend to be around for a long time! My treatment is going very well and bones already showing signs of strengthening after only my 2nd denosumab injection and I’m still working full time. My oncologist says they look at secondaries as a chronic illness now, like diabetes or heart conditions, there is no cure but they are very treatable. I wish you all the best and I’m sure others on this forum will also try to reassure you and give you support. Big hugs xxx
Hi, sorry you find yourself here. I was diagnosed with mets two years ago when I was in the middle of rads for my primary bc. Quite a shock I can tell you. I admire your calmness and resolve. You obviously feel strong enough to be able to keep this secret until after Christmas, and I can understand that. Everyone handles it differently in the best way they can. I told my family immediately as we had made a pact of no secrets. My husband told close friends who were phoning frequently to check on progress. If I was working I would have told them too as I think HR would need to be involved. I didn’t tolerate my drugs very well and had frequent hospital stays to get me sorted. Palbociclib crashes my neutrophils and it has taken a year to sort dosages. With the recent progress in treatment our life expectancy is now years, normally, and not the death sentence it used to be. I’m sure that before too long it will be a chronic illness much like TB. In the mean time I’m living with my disease, NOT dying from it, and relishing life. I’m on Letrozole and Palbociclib and am managing extremely well. No growth at all. I do get some fatigue and other nigfly se’s, but, hey ho, as I’m 72 I guess old age plays it’s part! ?Sending hugs and best wishes for the future. ??
you will be feeling very numb and shocked at this point. There is no right or wrong way to deal with this…the right way for you is the one that works for you.
the ladies are right when they say this is a treatable disease. Whilst we don’t have a crystal ball woman are living many years with this…only the other day I met someone who had been surviving 15 years!
Try to enjoy your holiday…you do still have a future to look forward too x
When I was diagnosed with mets 5 years ago I decided to only tell a few people. My work manager as I knew I would need time off for hospital appointments, plus a handful of very close friends. My very elderly mother and my two young adult children still don’t know and neither do my work colleagues. My treatment so far has been hormonal and I’ve continued to lead a normal life. I work and travel and socialise. ( I have mets to bone and liver). When I have to go onto a treatment that has more side effects I will tell them then. I feel I am in the minority with my choice but just wanted you to know it’s up to you who you do and don’t tell. You will know when the time is right, be it next week or in 5 years xxx