Hi Everyone,
I’m not usually a forum person but feel like I need to speak to people who understand what I’m going through, my family and friends are being fantastic but sometimes I feel like I dont want to impose on them, Everyone is still in shock, I’m only 33 how can this be happening to me??? I have an almost 3 year old daughter and am so scared for me and her, I love her so much she is my world But for some reason I feel so guilty right now (like this is somehow my fault) I dont even understand it myself?
In all the panic last week (June 20th) when I was diagnosed I didnt get the piece of paper that my Breast Care Nurse was writing on explaing which cancer I had but I do recall her writing grade 3 and then talking about invasive ductal carcinoma so am 99.9% sure this is what I have (my GP just had a letter saying Breast Cancer, so that wasnt too helpful).
This has all happened really quickly, I found the lump, went to GP 2 days later, had an appointment at Breast clinic within 2 weeks, had ultrasound and Biopsy the same day (was told it was probably a fibroadenoma) 1 week later told I had breast cancer, that was a week ago now, the day I was diagnosed I had a blood test, a mammogram (I didnt have one originally because of my age) a chest x ray and an ultrasound on my Armpit where they did a biopsy because they could see an imflamed lymph node, (the radiologist said this could be from the biopsy a week earlier) how likely is this? I had an MRI yesterday and my Breast care Nurse called me in the afternoon after the MDT Meeting to tell me I needed another ultrasound on my armpit as something showed up on the MRI (again was told this may be because of the more recent bisopy) I was supposed to have an appointment tomorrow where I would find out full diagnosis and the plan of action, this has now been cancelled as the Radiographer my Consultant wants to look at my armpit is not available til monday, so I have to go to radiology first thing and then straight to breast unit, all the waiting and extra tests are making me so anxious, I’m trying to be so strong for my family but inside I’m just broken.
The size of my tumour is 34mm (may be bigger once all of the other results come back as my breast care nurse said this wasn’t the exact size).
Sorry if this post is so long but this is my story so far, My Breast care nurse said it is likely I will be offered Chemo because of my age, is this correct? how come not everyone has chemo?.
I look forward to hearing from any of you soon, do any of you know many younger women that have been diagnosed?
Lyndsey xx
Hello lyndseyloo
Welcome to the forums, this must be a very worrying time for you but you have come to the right place for support from our experienced users who I’m sure will be along to support you soon.
You may also like to talk things through with a member of our helpline staff who are there to offer emotional support as well as practical information. The free phone number is 0808 800 6000 and the lines are open Monday to Friday 9.00 to 5.00 and Saturday 10.00 to 2.00.
Best wishes
June, moderator
Hi Lynseyloo
I am very sorry to hear you have joined our horrible club. My heart goes out to you as it is truly a horrid time and you are bound to be out of your mind with worry. Hearing that word turns your life upside down and life is never the same again.
I was diagnosed on 14th April with grade 3 invasive ductal cancer of the right breast, her negative, ER+/PR+. I was told at the outset that due to my age (40) and the fact I had a grade 3 cancer that I will need chemotherapy. They do tend to give chemotherapy to younger women as insurance in case any stray cancer cells have wandered anywhere. Think some women don’t have chemo if the cancer is a low-grade like a 1 and there’s no evidence of spread. But nowadays more and more women are given chemo as there is no way of knowing if any microscopic cells have escaped and chemo reduces the chances of it coming back.
I have had a WLE and SNB but unfortunately need more surgery as didn’t get clear margins and the cancer spread to the sentinel node. So its either another WLE or mastectomy with ANC for me but not been able to decide what surgery so have decided to go ahead with chemotherapy.
I had my first chemo last thursday. The thought of chemo terrified me and i broke down in tears before it started BUT it is no way as bad as i thought it would be. I have suffered minimal side effects (touch wood), the meds they give for sickness are spot on and haven’t been sick, felt relatively well at times and still got my hair (don’t know for how much longer though). It is tough but so far been doable for me, just hope all the other cycles are the same.
As they have recommended chemo for you it would be in your best interests to take it as at least you will be chucking everything at it in order to get a cure. Breast cancer is very treatable and there are plenty of treatments that will beat it into remission. Many women do go on to being cured and their cancer never comes back. Breast cancer does have excellent survival rates and there are new treatments being developed all the time to beat this disease. However it is still scary and its the uncertainty of the future that can be hard to bear but nothing in life is for certain as is proved in every day news about accidents and tragedies. Having BC does make you appreciate every single day more.
Stick to this website for information as other websites can give you out of date or frightening stories. There is a facebook page for younger women with BC where you can chat to younger women which helps to make you not feel so alone and there is so much support. Let me know if you want further details.
Sending you big hugs xxx
Thank you for replying Sandie,
Yes it is terrifying and although I don’t mean it in the way it may sound I’m so happy to know that there are so many people who understand what I’m going through although I wish none of us had to go through this.
If they do offer me chemo I will be taking it, I will take everything they offer me, I absolutely just want this cancer gone and want to make a full recovery for the future and I want to be around to see my daughter grow up!! 
she is my priority!!
I have my appt on Monday so will hopefully know so much more by then.
I hope you are feeling ok and your treatment is not causing you too much discomfort or distress.
Lyndsey xxx
Thank you very much for the reply June, this site is an absolute godsend and I appreciate all of the help and information which is available to me.
Lyndsey xx
Hi Lyndsey, I’m 34 and also diagnosed in June. I’m fit and never ill with no history of cancer in my family so I didn’t think in a million years that my lump would be cancer. When I initially went to the doctor with my lump at the top of my breast they said it felt like a small cyst and to go back if it got bigger or started to hurt and bother me. A few months later I thought I could feel another small lump next to the first so I went back and saw a different doctor who sent me for tests. They found 4 lumps and saw the lymph nodes were swollen. They took a biopsy from the lumps and some fluid from the lymph and confirmed it was cancer 2 days later. Since then my world has been turned upside down! I had a mastectomy and anxillary clearance 2 weeks ago. I got my results back this week and it’s grade 3 but only spread to 2 lymph nodes. I have 2 children aged 6 and 3, they think I have a poorly arm at the moment and I’m not sure whether I’ll tell them more or not yet, I’m having chemo as soon as I’m fit enough and then probably radiotherapy afterwards. Please keep in touch with how you are doing and I wish you the best of luck for whatever treatment you have. I think the only way to beat cancer is to stay positive, grit your teeth and fight (not always easy I was an emotional wreck for a while but I’m getting there!). Take care xxx
Hi Rachel and welcome to the BCC forums where you will find shared support and experiences from your fellow users
Our helpliners are also on hand with practical and emotional support so please feel free to call to talk any concerns through on 0808 800 6000, lines are open weekdays 9-5 and Saturdays 10-2
The following link will take you to the ‘Younger women’ area of the site where you will find information about treatments and further support ideas along with a link to the ‘Mummy’s lump’ book which you may find helpful if you decide to speak to your children:
breastcancercare.org.uk/younger-women
Depending on where you are in the country one of our ‘Younger women together’ events may be of interest to you, here’s a link to information about these:
breastcancercare.org.uk/breast-cancer-services/talks-courses-local-support/younger-women-together
Take care
Lucy BCC
Thanks Lucy I read yesterday about the events and it’s something I would definitely look to book on. As soon as I have my chemo dates I’ll check when and where I can attend.
Thanks again, Rachel xx
Thanks for your reply Rachel,
It’s just awful isn’t it? I’ve been back and fourth to hospital for all sorts of tests had a repeat biopsy last week for lymph node but my consultant is very hopeful it hasn’t spread to my nodes!! Fingers crossed! I have an appt in the morning where hopefully I will finally find out my full diagnosis and get a treatment plan sorted.
Keep in touch it’s nice to know there are people who totally understand how I’m feeling however I wish none of us had to be in this club! I have joined a group on Facebook (younger breast cancer network secret group) it’s fantastic, if you haven’t joined it already you should it’s really helpful! To join you need to send them a message and then they will add you.
Take care
Lyndsey xx
Hi Lynsey
I can sympathise with the way you are feeling I to was diagnosed only last wed July 1st and omg what a shock as you say for all the family as well as myself. Although I am 63 and 64 in August it still hits you like a kick in the chest, I feel if only I could take a huge deep breath and blow out slowly the tightness will go. I was called for the usual mamagram (good job) and they saw the lump called me back in the mean time I found it myself but only when I lay down no one ever told me to check myself laying down but there it was. so last wed had another mamagram then ultra sound and biopsy have it in the glands as well so go see the surgeon Fri 11 th to find out what grade it is etc and to top it all I booked a holiday to the states for 3 weeks with my daughter (of 46) on Aug 4th dont think I;ll be going to that.
So we are not alone hun keep chin up and hopfully we;ll both get a good out come
regards Julie
Hi Julie63 and welcome to the BCC forums
Along with the support you have here, our helpliners are on hand with practical and emotional support for you and you can call weekdays 9-5 and Sat 10-2 on 0808 800 6000
I am posting a link to the ‘Just diagnosed’ pages where you will find further support such as our weekly ‘Live chat’ and information from BCC which I hope you will find helpful:
breastcancercare.org.uk/diagnosis
Take care
Lucy BCC
Hi Julie,
I’m so sorry about your holiday, what a shame I bet you could do with it right now too!! ? it doesn’t matter what age this awful disease hits us it’s an awful shock all the same!!
I hope to know more of what’s going on with me tomorrow!! Fingers crossed I can finally get a move on with treatment!! Feel like I’m in Limbo right now!!
I will pray that by some miracle you get to go on your holiday!! ?
Keep in touch
Lyndsey xx
Hi Lyndsey, I’ve messaged about the group on Facebook, thanks. Hope everything goes well at your appointment xxx
Thanks everyone,
sorry for this long message lol I had my appointment today and my second lymph node biopsy came back as benign so that is good news, I have an op date set for 6th August I will be having a lumpectomy and lymph node removal (hopefully avoiding a mastectomy).
Approx 2 weeks after my op I will be seen by my consultant who will then let me know about further treatment… Chemo and radiotherapy I may not need chemo however my consultant has said that it is still very much on the table because of the type of cancer (TN), the size (it’s quite big at 43mm) and my age (33) (if only to protect me for the future) so we will see radiotherapy is a definite. Xx
Hi Everyone, I had my follow up appointment yesterday as had a lumpectomy and SLNB 2 weeks ago, and it’s not good news I have to have another op on the 10th September they didn’t get clear margins and of the 2 lymph nodes they removed one of them was affected so they need to remove more for testing!! If they don’t get clear margins this time I will probably have to have a mastectomy!! I will probably be starting chemo in October (if I don’t need more surgery) for about 4 months then radiotherapy, I feel like I have had a massive set back!! ? xx
Hi Jayne, thanks for replying, to be honest I’m a bit all over the place at the moment, most of the time I’m fine and then I will just burst into tears! I hate feeling like this!! I think it’s because I’m not in control of this, if I didn’t have my daughter I probably wouldn’t care as much as I do but the thought of leaving her is breaking my heart!! The other night She even asked me if I was going to die, and last night she told me she doesn’t want me to die!! She will be 3 in two weeks!! I just wish I didn’t feel like this, I just can’t be strong all of the time sometimes I just feel the need to cry!!! xxx
Thanks Jayne, I’m just really feeling it today/tonight hopefully tomorrow will be A better day!! I just keep thinking why me?? What have I done to deserve this?? I’m a good person!! But I guess we all feel like that! The truth is none of us deserve this!! We have just become members of a very exclusive club where only amazing people can join!! Thanks again Lyndsey xxx
Thank you so much Jayne, today actually is a better day!! I had a bit of a meltdown last night and just couldn’t stop crying but I realise now I just need to crack on with it get this next op done and dusted and see what’s next!! Sometimes easier said than done and I know I will still have dark days but we all just have to keep fighting!!
Thanks again for the positivity!! It really has helped!!
Much love
Lyndsey xxx
Hi Lyndsey,im 30 and have been diagnosed with grade 3 invasive breast cancer last week…it has spread in my arm and had to have a ct scan yesterday…should know results on monday…i have 2 small children and so scared…
Hi Petrusha,
I’m so sorry you have joined our club, I am currently in my hospital bed where I had my second op yesterday (they had to go in a second time to try to get clear margins and also do an axillary lymph node clearance as it has spread to my lymph nodes) my diagnosis is grade 3 invasive ductal carcinoma with high grade DCIS My cancer is triple negative and the tumour they removed on my first op was 47.5mm out of the 2 sentinel nodes they removed 1 was positive so that’s why I have had an ANC this time! I am going home shortly so am very happy about that lol I am in terrible pain under my armpit but that’s to be expected I am going home with my Drain in and need to get it removed at the weekend. Then I will be seen in clinic in 2 weeks to get the results of this op hopefully they will get clear margins this time other wise I will need a mastectomy (which I’m not too bothered about if it needs to go it needs to go!!) next thing will be chemo because I’m triple negative and also have node involvement! And then radiotherpy!! I had a CT scan and full body bone scan last week and was honestly terrified as I had neck problems last year but I am pleased to say I got the all clear from both of those scans although they did see something on my thyroid which I need to have an ultrasound and possible biopsy on fingers crossed it’s nothing. So I think that is my story so far! I know its easier said than done but try not to worry too much (worrying doesn’t help us at all) we need to stay positive, I have really down days but it is getting easier as time goes on! Are you on facebook? If so there is an amazing private group called younger breast cancer network! The girls on there are amazing and so supportive! There is always someone to talk to there anytime of the day or night!
Keep me updated on your journey let me know how the results go on Monday! If you need to talk then I am always here.
Lots of love and hugs
Lyndsey xxx