Today has been a tough one, had a bit of a breakdown following two seperate calls from the hospital with two appointments, i now have the manogram contrast tomorrow (wednesday), fertility clinic on Thursday and MRI on Friday, i feel like I am losing control, just feels like too much all at once!
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It certainly does come at you from all angles in the first few weeks - it’s very overwhelming . It will calm down you will feel more in control, the hurdles are ones you need to get over for the best possible outcome for you. Come and off load here we all understand how it feels x
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Thank you 
looking forward to it calming down.
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Hi Tessa, welcome to the Forum 
I was diagnosed in January, having had the mammogram, ultrasound and biopsies taken in one morning in Winchester. BUT when the Breast Surgeon told me, she immediately said “But it’s treatable.” So, I didn’t even cry then and have not cried since. I have totally believed that this was treatable and that is how it has turned out.
I totally get how you feel about being in public… people would see me and ask the usual “Hi! How are you doing?” And the automatic reply is “Fine thanks, how are you?” But then, I added “Oh well except I’ve been diagnosed with breast cancer, but it’s treatable, so just going to get through the steps.” And THEY are devastated for you. But I truly haven’t bothered. When we’ve popped away for holidays, as I’m getting on the plane, 
I’ve caught the hostesses and said “Psst, I’m going through breast cancer, so I want to be spoilt rotten for the whole journey!” And they did spoil me, as well as telling me about people they knew who had been through it.
I’ve also taken my Facebook friends through it all and their messages. both in facebook and privately, gave me such support and the feeling I was not alone. It has been marvelous for me.
I’m 62, so babies were not an issue, but how wonderful that they can freeze your eggs now and keep the joy of a family open to you, as that could have been something you might have grieved about. You will still have the choice and that is a blessing (until they get to 13…
).
Is your aunt still alive, if so, that should give you real hope. If not, did she die from breast cancer, or at an advanced age?
How did you determine you needed to see a doctor about possible breast cancer? I had puckering and was stage 2. I am now cured.
The lumpectomy, for me anyway, was a doddle with very little pain, ditto the 15 days of radiotherapy.
The waiting for results has been the hardest part. Those two weeks are interminable, but as each milestone is ticked, it’s one step closer to the end, which does come. Head up, boobs out, wonder at the incredible NHS staff and thank them, then pat yourself on the back smile and be thankful you are a woman, as we are STRONG 
! Much love and grace through your cancer journey. Cancer does NOT mean death. Melanie xxxxxx
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Hi @tessie86
It’s a Lot and I’m not surprised you’ve had a mini meltdown. You’re allowed, it’s fine!
It’s like trying to stay upright on a slippery slope.
On the positive you will have all three appointments under your belt by the weekend 
And if you feel tired don’t say ‘oh I haven’t done anything, I don’t know why I feel like this’, remember you’re climbing a mountain. Baby steps and be kind to yourself. Rest when you need to.
Sending you strength to keep going
Pop back and let us know how you get on with your appointments. We will all be cheering you on
Take care
Lynn x
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Hi
It’s normal to have all these feelings when you first found out!
I’m a lot older and on my second round of chemotherapy due to being both eostrogen and her2 positive!
Take it one day at a time. It does overwhelm you at first but it goes subside!
It is good to talk to people who are going through the same experience!
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Hi @tessie86
I am new here today. This is my 50th birthday year and I feel like ‘why thank you 2025 for this wonderful gift’.
I too knew mine was bad news. I went from 2nd manogram to ultra sound to biopsie within my recall appointment. But I left that appointment for our family holiday the next day knowing and saying to my hubs that what ever was in me good or bad was already there so I could not change that. I am healthy, eat well and super active and everyone Ive told so far has been like ‘you?’ But as my good friend told me we dont choose it, it chooses us! I too never cried. I just had and have moments of ‘OMG, Ive got cancer’ that stop me in my tracks every now and then. And I take a huge deep breath!
I am now 5 weeks in and 1 week on from my surgery which has been a huge proportion of being Lower breast removed and my nipple could not be saved and Ive also had a reduction /reconstruction done on my other breast at the same time so a 5hr op.
Last week was a blur but the next 7 days will drag until I get my results, like you I have no idea how I should be feeling and thats by far the hardest part but I started a journal as someone else said and its been so cathartic for me. And Ive set up a WApp to myself with pictures and memories of my journey both positive and negative.
I too have only told those close to me or those who have expressed that I am not my normal self. Im not ashamed I just dont know how to begin that conversation or text!
All I can say to you is just do what feels best for you and if the need to cry comes go with it. Today I feel strong. 3 days ago I was at my lowest so far, the whole thing is a rollercoaster and tornado but talking to others who have been or are going through what we are is also a great medicine and therapy. My mindset is to take each day as it comes and go with whatever feelings and emotions or strength it may bring Xx Sending you a huge virtual hug. Xxx
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Hi and welcome @tessie86
I am so sorry you are going through this! When I saw your post, it resonates with me so much. You are 100% not alone with how you feel.
I was diagnosed last month, just after I turned 39 so same age as you. I have cried a total of 2 times since then!! It absolutely feels like it’s not happening to me as life is still continuing as normal - for now at least. Still working, going the gym, socialising, doing the school run etc. Then I suddenly realise, I’ve got cancer!! I am currently awaiting a date for mastectomy which I think is when it will properly sink in for me.
This group is fantastic and such a great support network xxx good luck for you tough mudder the weekend. I’ve done a Wolf Run which is similar and great fun xx
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It’s ok to feel the way you are feeling. The best part of your journey is you are apart of this forum and we all are in the same boat and is always ready to give you words of hope. I told my onocologist today that I feel like I’m on a journey and I’m just not feeling emotional at all. So know you are not alone. I will be praying for you and pray your walk into our world is one that we all are doing our best and here for encouragement for each other. Asking God to give you strength guidance. You sound like a strong woman. You are going to be fine. Prayers
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Thank you for sharing your story.
My clinical nurse has given me my mantra to repeat:
-its treatable
-its curable
-picked up early
-its hormone recepective (apparently a good thing)
I am meant to be going to Rome next month and they have told me to keep booked currently, its good that they encourage you to live a “normal” life.
Sadly my aunty passed from secondary breast cancer about 10 years ago, but i know treatment is better now, also when she found the first lump she left it a couple of years as she was looking after her partner who was very unwell at the time. So I dont think that helped with her getting secondary, but thats why i always checked myself and thats how i found the lump. I knew i had to get checked straight away, the day after i found it. I literally found it 4 weeks ago, so its been a very fast process. And the surgeon thought it was just a hormonal lump but it was when i went for the scan that it was a panic and rushed me in for manogram and 4 biopsis (my lynth nodes came back clear which is a light relief). It has just been alot in a short space of time. I am so glad my nurse told me to join this group as it has already helped so much!
Thank you again for sharing and all your kind words! Tessa xx
Thats such a great way of looking at it! Thank you so much!
I will so, thank you xx
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Thank you for sharing, I am so sorry that you are going through this and must have been so hard to even focus on that holiday!
I have now told everyone that i have contact with daily as i just want to be able to be myself and if im having a crap day or feeling emotional, i can and i dont have to hide it. Also i guess doesnt feel like this huge scary thing if it can be talked about. I am extremely lucky to have the people i have in my life. I guess these things just makes you realise you have to really keep these people close and enjoy life to the fullest!
Lots of luck with your surgery recovery!
Thank you and sending a virtual hug to you too! Xx
Thank you for sharing, how fed up are you of being told its pretty rare in someone our age, its like wooo do i get a prize!?
But great to hear you are still maintaining your “normal” life too. I hope that you get your date very soon, as can imagine that is quite stressful waiting for that date to come through. I guess thats one of the worst parts of the process is all the waiting when really you just want them to get the cancer out of your body now!!!
Not hear of the wolf run, will have to look it up. Thank you xx
Hi @tessie86,
Just checking in today on how you’re feeling - I hope you’ve found the lovely responses helpful. Please know that we’re all here for you, and if you need to have a chat with one of our nurses today, they’re more than willing to be a listening ear or to answer any questions you may have. You can reach them on 0808 800 6000.
Sending love,
Alice 