Yesterday, I was diagnosed with grade 3 breast cancer & will need chemo followed by surgery & possible radiotherapy and I am totally reeling. I swing from numb & blank to total panic. I am mostly terrified of the chemo I think. I didn’t tell many people about the tests as I didn’t want to worry them, this includes my Dad and now I don’t know how to tell them or when - do I wait until after Christmas when I start chemo or now. Sorry I know you don’t have these answers my head is just all over the place. Thanks for reading I hope you are having a good day x
Oh Rebeljue, I am so sorry to hear this and totally empathise with your feelings. There are so many of us here who have been in exactly the same situation as you and are here to support you through this.
You will probably be dazed, numb and feel like you’re existing rather than living whilst still digesting your diagnosis. This is completely normal and I promise it does get better.
At the beginning, I didn’t tell my Dad either as I didn’t want to worry him. However, when I did tell him, his reassurance and strength astounded me! I also felt lots better for it.
I understand your fear of chemo and I share that same feeling. I am currently waiting for some results called Oncotype and these will indicate whether chemo is of any benefit.
I started reading around it and so many people say it’s not as bad as you think. I am now mentally preparing myself for it. There are lots of women here going through it that can also support you.
It may be a tough journey ahead for you but it will pass and you will come out of the other side.
It is not at all surprising that you are in a reeling and in a shocked state, it was only yesterday you were diagnosed ! Not eating, not sleeping and having your mind totally full of the ‘what ifs’ and tangle of emotions is part of the process for many at this very early stage. It is a terrifically hard psychological ‘experience’, and honestly rocks your life and world for a while. Take strength though from so many who have been before you, and are out there living their lives again, and this feeling won’t last forever rebeljue…acceptance and then more positivity as you move forwards starts to edge its way in. Allow yourself to feel however you do at this time, nothing is wrong, but remember there is SO much support out there for you. If you’ve not already seen this page, take a scroll down it to see some of the possibilities - but there is much more, as many other places like Maggie’s run lots of support sessions.
At any stage in your treatment plan you will find people on here who will understand and share your fears, frustrations and funny times. Funny times ? There will be those too. As you come to terms with the steps you will be taking sometimes we can laugh at some of things we experience.
When to tell people ? Hmmmm, thats a toughy as everybody is different and it is very much your choice. I am the ‘get it over with now and quickly’ sort, so that I don’t have to pretend everything is ok. If it was me I’d not be able to keep things quiet and be totally normal over the whole of Christmas, and somebody would guess something wasn’t right. It could store up more painful feelings for you without the help of your family at this time ? Everybody, even families around the patient, need time to come to terms with things and to process and ask their questions - I think being told last minute would be quiet hard. Thats just my opinion though, as as I said, we are all different and have individual considerations to take into account in our home lives.
As you come to terms with the steps you will be taking sometimes we can laugh at some of things we experience.