HI everyone, I’m new to the forum and recently diagnosed (5days ago ) with grade 3 BC. No sign in nodes but who knows once they operate. I.m in shock but was managing and feeling that I could cope. Today however l feel so low and negitive. I think I’m just realising how hard things are going to become and how much my life will change.I’m usually a glass half full type of person but not today.I I know I will cope but feeling so scared that cancer is all over my body etc feeling a bit crazy . I have very supportive family and friends who are here for me. I just see how sad they are about my diagnosis. I don,t want to burden them with how sad and frightened I actually feel . ,I’m going to do some exercise tomorrow to see if that helps. I’ve beenbusy all day . It just hit me when I came home. Any advice re how to mange at these times would be appreciated. Sending love and best wishes xxx
Hi Mango,
Sorry to see you here, but you’re not alone with this, we’ve all been where you are now & it’s such a shock, so what you’re feeling is quite normal.
It’s good to be ‘ glass half full’ with this. Thankfully, it’s been picked up & can now be dealt with, although, of course, it doesn’t feel like it. Treatment outcomes for bc are some of the best around.
It can help to deal with it, by taking it a stage at a time & to try not to let your mind race ahead.
The early days of diagnosis are difficult as often there are more investigations to confirm things & the uncertainty is hard to deal with, but it does get a lot better when the treatment plan falls into place.
General googling is best avoided as it’s only scary, often for no good reason, so rely on your team for info or use the bcc site here or Macmillan. There is also the helpline here if you want to talk things through.
We’ve all been through it to varying degrees, so do come & chat or vent whenever you need to.
Good to do the exercise too!
Sending hugs
ann x
Mango
Hello and welcome to the forum, not a place anyone willinglly wants to be, but one thing is for sure you will get loads of help and support from the wonderful ladies on here.
This is a difficult time, you have just been diagnosed and there is a lot of information to take in but honestly when you have your treatment plan it does get easier because you know what is going to happen and when. Treatment for bc is very good and your breast care team will tailor it specifically for you
The main advise I would give is to just take each day as it comes and you will get through. Come on here and we will help you in whatever way we can. There is always someone around here who you can talk to and will understand.
Sending you hugs
Helena xxx
Hi Mango, sorry you found yourself here but glad you found us as you will get lots of support here from others who have been through the same. The first few weeks after diagnosis really is the hardest time, suddenly the rug has been pulled from under you and the hospital is taking control of your diary with appointments and you have to try and learn and understand lots of new words and terminology. Its like you’ve been abducted by aliens. Anxiety can make you feel quite ill with headaches and chest pains but its very hard to not feel anxious. All of your emotions are very normal as you have a lot of information to process, you are not going crazy. As Ann said, breast cancer is very treatable and your medical team are very experienced at tailoring treatment specific to your diagnosis so have faith and trust you are in good hands. Don’t be afraid to ring your breast nurses to ask questions, no matter how silly they feel to you as they will reassure you and keep you posted on what’s happening. I found focussing on nutrition and getting nice and healthy ready for treatment was a good distraction in the early days, back in March. Also “guided imagery meditation” worked well for me (on Spotify, iTunes etc). Once your treatment plan is in place you will feel better. You can then join the “going through treatment” thread to chat with others going through the same treatments at the same time. I found this helped tremendously. I understand how you feel about friends and family, whilst they are there for you it can be hard to not be positive with them as you want to protect your positive circle around you. That’s where we come in, you can have a rant and dump all of your anxieties right here and someone will always be here to listen and share experiences. You are never alone. Xxxxx
Thank you all so much for replying. Your advice is so helpful and I will listen. It really helps knowing you are there. Already feeling abit better. It all felt too overwhelming for a few hours. Xxxx
Thank you Charys. I just didn’t think I would react like this. I can,t stop negitive, very sad thoughts coming into my head. Trying hard to be more upbeat as it will be so hard for my husband and family. I am managing to put on a positive front for my children. I’m really trying to follow advice. Xxxxxxx
Thank you so much for understanding. I know I’ve got to accept and go through this and find the best way to manage these intense feeling. I did ask the cancer nurse if I could get some counselling but she said there is none available at this stage. Do people usually pay privately. I know there is a cancer organisation in my area. I’ll call them tomorrow. This is so hard. I,m sure I will be a stronger person in the end with many ups and downs of the way. I can’t believe how kind you have been, taking time out of your life to answer What a great site this is.l hope at some point I will be as positive and upbeat as many of the lovely people I have read about on here. Sending love and thanks xxxx
Here we go, found a link to it…This is the phone version…
Here is the link to the email version…
Hi Mango,
Yes, you will get your mojo back & later on you may well be supporting others coming up behind you.
I’m nearly 2 years post diagnosis, well & getting on with life as normal, apart from posting here, of course!
As Charys says, Trusts do seem to to vary on counselling support, so good idea about calling the local one tomorrow
& being so proactive about it all.
ann x
Hi Mango, I can see you are being well looked after by the lovely ladies here and can only echo all that they have said , it’s the most surreal time and you will swing from thinking you are ok to feeling at rock bottom, this happens to other people not us after all!
Take comfort in knowing that all of us here who have replied have been through diagnosis and treatment and felt exactly as you do right now at some point , it gets better, you do accept it and you do cope!
I was diagnosed March 15 so coming up to 3rd anniversary , I was on my knees with despair back then and couldn’t see a way out but the days go on and you pick yourself up and find your fight , give it time it will happen and in the mean time we are always here to help Xx Jo
Hi Mango
Try not to be too hard on yourself. You are going to have days when you feel you can kick BC’s arse and days when you want to curl up and cry. Both are normal. Just take one day at a time and you will get through it.
Lots of hugs and good luck for the future xx
Hi Mango. I see you have had lots of very supportive responses with excellent advice from people who know!!
I was diagnosed with grade 2, her2+, er+ ductal breast cancer at the end of August. I was told at first i would have a masecto.y and chemo. I had an umtrasoubd to check lymph nodes - which, like you, all seem clear.
Within a week if diagnosis i had a ct scan and a bone scan to check for spread. Walking into the doctor to get those results was the hardest thing as i had convinced myself that it had spread to different parts of my body. But it hadnt!!
After the scans i was told i would be having chemo first then a masectomy. This is so that i can access the best and most effective treatments for the Her2. I was absolutely terrifoed of starting chemo!!
I have now had 5 lots of chemo and have 2 to go. I lost my hair two weeks after my first treatment so i got ot shaved to a number 4. It has started to grow nack a bit now and i have never actually been completely bald!! I have a great wig!!
When i was diagnosed i crumbled - not in front of my kids - but at other times. I felt i couldnt do this and more to the point i didnt want to do it!! We all have times like this. It is totally normal.
4 months on i am doing it and it is doable. Its tough at times and on my lowest day afterceach cycle ive said i’m not doing this any more!! But then by the time the next cycle is due i’m fine and in the chair again.
I have 3 children,my husband and my mum with alzheimers who lives with us. My family have been a great support and life - to all intents and purposes - has gone on as normal but i just havent been to work!
I hope this helps to reasdure you and 9nce you have your treament plan in place you will feel better.
You can do this!
Lots of love Ali xxx
Mango i meant to say tbat i have cooked tea most nights and have done the washing and ironed the kids uniforms every weekend but 2. Thats how ‘normal’ life has been xx
Mango hoping you are doing better. I’m at the same spot and I’m feeling empty and helpless. Cant stop thinking of it, a lot of “what if”, cant eat or sleep properly…
I 'm waiting for my operation next week but I’m very afraid of the outcome. I only know I have a 1,7 or more tumor on left breast and one (but maybe others ) node 2,7cm .