Is anyone else finding it really hard to cope with Xmas and NY? Friends and family mssge me saying they hope I’m managing to have a nice time and sending me pics of their festivities. I’m on my 2nd cycle of chemo with bilateral breast cancer which has spread to lymph nodes and even tho it’s my ‘good week’ I just feel tired and tearful. I’m dreading the surgery and further treatment else which will take up a large part of next year - makes it v hard to respond to happy new years and conversations about resolutions or plans for year ahead.
Thoughts and tips appreciated
Hello AdinaB,
I understand completely. I posted on a similar topic in a different part of the forum yesterday because I was feeling quite sorrowful thinking about what 2022 had delivered and all there is to face in 2023. I was helped by the responses because they made me feel not so alone in having these feelings. I hope this reply has at least some of the same effect for you.
I’ve been receiving the same kinds of seasonal messages as you. They’re not easy, but I’d rather know people are thinking about me than not receiving any at all. I think a quick reply saying thank you and sending best wishes for 2023 is fine. (The ‘thank you’ serves as a catchall, whether for pictures, messages, good wishes.) I feel a bit better today because we’re in 2023 now, though like you am apprehensive about surgery etc. One thing that has helped me a little is reminding myself that it would be odd if we didn’t feel the way we do. It doesn’t make the feelings go away (more’s the pity), but at least it makes them understandable.
Dunnock xx
That sounds really hard AdinaB and anyone else living with treatment starting or continuing.
I liked Dunnock’s response , Thanks and best wishes is enough. No-one really knows what to say at a time like this and you do not have to pretend you’re OK when you’re not to make other people feel better.
Sometimes life is an absolute bitch and sometimes it doubles down and does it over Christmas and New Year. Its OK to be sad, furious ,frightened, grumpy, pissed off, numb or anything else you’re feeling. Those are all completely rational responses.
Christmas and NY are behind us now, I hope things have eased off a bit for you. Sounds like 2023 is going to be challenging for you. I’m sorry for that and wish you the strength, courage and grace to cope with it and the support you need when its all too much.
I don’t know whether its any help but when I got my diagnosis in Feb last year and for the rest of the year I said “I’m practicing living with uncertainty” to anyone mentioned plans, goals etc. I had a good few moments where something much ruder nearly came out of my mouth I can tell you but that got me by.
Lots of love to you xx