Tomorrow is a year since my diagnosis, and I’m not sure how to feel.
I am happy in alot of ways, as I feel quite proud of myself (and my family) for how I have dealt with everything.There have been many set backs along the way so am happy that I can look back and think that I have managed to get through it all.
So…why on the other hand do I feel sad. I suppose its reflecting on the past year and how it has changed all of our lives, and for that I feel quite bitter.
I now worry about every ache and pain I get and they seem to be getting more and more.(I am now having headaches and can’t sleep and when I do sleep I wake up feeling sick. Every bone and muscle aches in my body. I feel about 80 and am only 35!!!
I am not sure if to celebrate my first anniversary or try and forget it and treat it like any other day?
Celebrate, who needs an excuse for a knees up anyway! When i get my one year on next June my family, husband, son and wife, daughter and boyfriend and I are all going to the Costa Brava for a week to celebrate. may seem extreme but when i was diagnosed i was so terrified that my son suggested we all go away on holiday next year so confident was he that i would be ok. I am going away in April with hubby but the June one will be really special as i have the people i love most around me.
I don’t know who you will feel, elated, sad that it happened in the first place, who knows till the actual day but as long as you have the people who love you and who you love with you that alone will make it a special day.
You have a lot to celebrate. You are alive, you have a loving family, lovely people have supported you through this year, you have much stronger friendships with some important people, you have kept yourself together through gruelling treatment, you are a wiser and more sensitive person, you are stronger inwardly than you were before, you have discovered strength and dignity you didn’t know you had, what you have done is amazing. Go celebrate!
love Jacquie