Driving myself insane

Have I got breast cancer? Appointments and waiting for test results
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Morning everyone

So here I am, joining so many others awaiting an appointment for an USC appointment at the breast clinic.

I had felt for a couple of months my right breast just felt a little bit different, the breast tissue just felt thicker, I was convinced I could feel a really tiny pea shape lump about 8 weeks ago, but left it assuming it was all related to that time of the month. Id also asked my husband to check and he said he couldn’t feel anything so I convinced myself there was nothing there.

Fast forward to last Wednesday, mid cycle doing my monthly checks and I could feel quite a firm lump, very different to before but in the same place. Made a GP appointment, she agreed there was thickening and has noted a 1cm by 2cm lump on my notes, stating relatively fixed.

My grandmother (paternal) had breast cancer, my mum benign tumours.

Truth is, right now I’m not worried about what it specifically is because I know I can’t change whatever it is, whether it is a cyst, benign lump or the dreaded C, however the level of anxiety and paranoia is driving me insane, wondering what if, googling, trying to self diagnose, constantly checking if I can feel the lump, which this morning I’ve convinced myself I can no longer feel again, then wondering if it’s because of where I am in my cycle.

I’m awaiting contact from the clinic for an appointment, my NHS app says I will be contacted by 9th June, so hopefully I will hear with an appointment tomorrow, but I’m just looking for any ways to distract or stop this increasing anxiety.

I’m due to have a week’s annual leave this week and I am seriously considering cancelling it because I know if I am not working I am just going to sit and drive myself crazy! I work in GP land so I am surrounded by these sorts of situations all of the time, which you’d think would help reassure and settle me.

Will I be given a good indication at my appointment of what they think it is? Will I just have an ultrasound, if I have additional tests like a biopsy does that mean it’s suspicious.

So sorry for the long post, I turn 33 a week today, married and have a 10 year son, who is my absolute world.

I am literally driving myself up the bend.

Sending lots of love to anyone going through this or fighting cancer, my thoughts are with you all :heart:

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Hi I feel your pain, I have an appointment tomorrow at the breast clinic from my first ever mammogram 2 weeks ago. I’m sure you’ll get your letter, can you chase up if it doesn’t come?
From my letter and from trawling this forum and others, I think we can expect possibly a physical exam, mammograms, U/S and possible biopsy. I’ve definitely read on a forum a few of the women had biopsies taken and results were negative. Though also it would seem the professionals give a strong indication if they think U/S results look like cancer. Good luck, feel like my life has turned upside down and it’s only been 2 weeks. Xxxxxxx

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Sending you so much love for tomorrow and praying for a positive outcome for you.

I’ll chase it up tomorrow if I haven’t heard anything by 4.30pm ish, as the clinic closes at 5.

I think that’s half the problem isn’t it, you read and read so much from so many different sources and your looking for an answer for yourself which obviously you won’t get.

I really do hope everything goes well tomorrow for you xxxxx

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Thank you, and keep us posted. Xx

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Just an update, I rang the referral line and they advised me that there aren’t any clinics on yet (that’s what I was advised on Thursday but there would be some opened Friday) however none have opened yet as they are waiting on clinicians (I get it, they can’t offer me what isn’t there).

The lady on the outpatients line has told me it will most likely be three weeks before I’m seen and not two weeks, which I know in the grand scheme of things isn’t going to make a difference but the anxiety is just growing :face_vomiting: