Good morning to everyine here.
I am particularly posting this message to “futuretwo”.
Firstly, very warm welcome to you, and you have made a very good move to reach out to this lovingly supportive forum, whaich has a myriad of shared experiences.
I don’t know where you are up to with your BC diagnosis and treatments even, but please al;low me to give you some hope for yourself and future, in that I am now 11 years down the line from having had one mastectomy in 2006 and the other only 9 months later in 2007.
The loss of my second breast threw me into the depths of depression, further exacerbated by other major losses in the death of my three immediate family members, loss of confidence intimate relationship wise, so it’s not just been BC with me. I have spent the equivalent of many months out of my life feeling/being suicidal over those last 11 years, having carefully examined every possible and available method, even down to being able to source the required liquid from genuine suppliers. I’m saying all of this to you Futuretwo, so that you realise just how seriously I have been in that same place as you hopefully “have”, and I’m purposely using the past tense there as opposed to “are”. And that was right up until an horrible incident two months ago, that pulled me up by the collar to finally go and seek some help.
So my dear friend, I can truely EMPATHISE with you, having been there where you were and may still be. There’s a distinct difference between EMPATHY nad SYMPATHY. Sympathy is the ability to feel sorry for someone and what they must be going througfh. EMPATHY, however, is a direct experience of the same thing. Be that as with you and me - serious suicidal thoughts, or my recently attending a yearly check up Mammogram appointment with a fellow BC “friend” who’s only a year down the line, compared to my 11, and I oh so remember the resurging upset and fears of that one year marker point, so could sooo “empathise” with her.
So I TRUELY KNOW and understand where you are/were right now. I suffer with Bi-Polar, a chemical imbalance that has been caused by a series of massive major traumas, losses, subsequent grief be that member of family, last one to suicide, grief for loss of both breasts, grief of loss of profession, income and home, lastly grief over the sad loss of my cat of 21 years 3 mnths ago and my last final remaining member of family. Some of the above may help you feel lucky that you haven’t had so much else, hopefully. But, hey, I’m still standing, talking and sometimes kicking Ar*se. Plus now getting some help.
Doesn’t help that I’m on my own, my best and oldest friends being dotted around the South and I’m living in the North. Are you on your own Futuretwo?
Send me a private email to talk in further depth, in private, as much as you like. You’ll find me a very empatheticand sympathetic ear. Suicide’s not an easy subject for most people to talk about publicly, is it. No.
Get in touch soon if you feel like or up to.
Sorry to everyone else for my interruption. Hope you’re all doing okay, or better
Loads of love to you all
Delly xxxxxxxxxxx