Hi. I am new to this site and have recently been diagnosed. I am due to have a wide excision on 20 March. So far I have had three biopsies and an MRI scan. When doing the scan they saw a large lymph node above my breast close to my collar bone. Apparently in a small number of people the fluid drains to this node as opposed to the nodes in the arm pit. They are looking at this node since it is 12mm which is larger than expected. I have been told this could be something and nothing. I had a biopsy on this node on Friday. I am having a PET/CT scan tomorrow as well so that they can ascertain what this could be.
Having done my own research I cannot see any information about this particular node being related to breast cancer. The results should be due on Friday but I am absolutely terrified.
I know that I am in good hands but I can’t help thinking the worst. Everyone keeps telling me to stay positive and to save my strength to beat the cancer but that is a lot easier said than done.
help! No one seems to understand what I’m going through.
Welcome to the BCC forums, I am sorry to read that you have this further worry, I am sure your fellow users will be along soon with support and information for you
In addition, you may find the following information and support services from BCC helpful over the coming months and you can read about our ‘Helpline’ and ‘One to one support services’ along with lots more here:
Dear Kiranclair, so sorry to hear of your diagnosis and also the uncertainty you are facing. On this forum you will meet lots of women who had similar experiences and who do understand what you are going through. I just wanted to say that as you have recently received a diagnosis of BC which for most is an unwelcome shock you are allowed to feel frightened, angry, desperate, tearful, whatever, what you feel is what you feel. Don’t suppress the true feelings because people who have no experience tell you to be positive - you can come on this site and expess your feelings and no-one will judge you.
In terms of research stick to your medical team who should answer your questions and also good quality websites such as this one, CRUK and Macmillan (its really easy to find ill-informed opinions on other less-rigourous sites). Also, if you need to actually talk to someone give the BCC helpline a call - I found them invaluable, its just is good to talk sometimes. Take care, thinking of you, H.
The lymph node came back showing abnormal cells in it and therefore it has to come out. Because of the location of the node I will need a thorasic surgeon to carry this out will ell as the bast surgeon. I am due to meet him today but it means that my operation to remove the lump is delayed once again.
i just want the operation done. It has been delayed twice now. I am scared about the abnormal cells in the lymph node and wPapp this means for me and my treatment. Does the fact that abnormal cells have been found mean the my cancer is ‘more serious’ I have so many questions. Sometimes I feel strong and other times I cry. Everyone keeps telling me to stay positive and that will help me fight this awful disease but deep down I am so scared. Scared about having chemo and what this means for my ability to have children in the future. I am 31 and been married for 3 years. We hadn’t even thought about kids until thE diagnosis. Will there be enough time between my operation and chemo for the hospital to collect my eggs.
the hospital are being so great but I am so tired. My brain goes 100mph all the time. Even when I’m trying to have fun and do other things its hanging over me or is in the back of my mind.
everyone tells me that I am brewing brave, I feel like a fraud
Kiranclair, you are being brave - being brave doesn’t mean not being frightened, it means you are scared but not surrendering. It really sounds like you need to talk to someone who can give you more detailed advice. Do please call the helpline or your breast cancer nurse if you have one allocated. Sometimes we worry about things that turn out to be something or nothing or which are solvable problems; we even worrying about the fact we are worrying!
I am sure there will be ladies on here who have have had chemo and gone on to have babies (I know there are ladies who have had chemo during pregnancy). Hopefully someone will come on to give you some reassurance.
I had my lumpectomy today. They also removed 4 lymph nodes. I took advice given on this form and am being referred to the fertility team shortly.
i am in some pain but glad to be back at home. I think that I am overtired and therefore can now not sleep!
i have my appointment next Thursday for results of pathology and checking my wound. They are going to remove the lymph node in my chest at a later date.
it sounds insane but sometimes I feel as though my body has let me down. I have a booklet on intimacy and sexual health as I feel the diagnosis has affected this aspect of my relationship with my husband. I suspect this is normal and hope others can share their stories and advice.
The BCN gave me lots of information to take away with me and she also answered some questions for me. I keep thinking of others though such as whether I will need to have my IUS contraceptive implant removed and what my options are going forward with regards to contraception.
thanks to all those who provided advice. I really appreciate it xoxo
Hi Kiranclair, that is one big step taken and now that you have got through that you know that you have the strength to cope with all the next steps,the first being recovery from your op. You may find it useful to write down your questions when you think of them so you can be sure that you remember to ask them. I have a little notebook that I write my questions down in and in which I take notes at each consultation (I think the surgeon probably thinks I am a bit bonkers but so what - it works for me). It is surprising how much you forget within a few days and I have referred back to my notes a few times. Maybe a friend/your husband could take notes for you?
With regard to your relationship with your husband I would say take your time with that and go at the speed you are both comfortable with - he may be frightened of hurting you and you may be frightened of being hurt - physically and mentally.
It is odd to feel that your body has gone off and done something which you didn’t want it to - but remember you have taken back some control by getting rid of that lump. I like to think of it being “my team” against the cancer, and my team has lots of members - surgeon, BCNs, family, friends and most of all me and I am betting on my team to win. I am sure you have a great team too.