I was diagnosed in February 2025 and so far I’ve had 2 surgeries and 8 cycles of chemo. Throughout my treatments, especially in the depths of chemo, I kept wondering when I would have my epiphany. You see I always thought that when you were diagnosed with something as life threatening and life changing as cancer that there would be a moment when you would suddenly realise that there was something you always wanted to do, like climb a mountain, or some long held dream that you would be desperate to fulfil. I’m a simple person by nature and have never desired to climb a mountain and I don’t have any particular dreams. But I thought they’d be something! Where was my epiphany?
However today I think it happened but not in the way I was expecting.
The past couple of days I’ve been having a good clean up in my bedroom, I’ve taken down the Christmas decorations and cleaned the living room. Today I did some washing, had a 20 minute walk and did some ironing. It was while I was ironing that I realised …. I couldn’t have done even half of those tasks a few weeks ago. During chemo (and after) there were times when I could barely get off the sofa. I’d have to choose one task to do per day (if that) and ironing? Forget it. But today I have enough energy to do every day tasks, things that I used to take for granted until I couldn’t do them. Yes housework is boring, it’s not big or exciting but Let me tell you I am so damn grateful to have energy again. I still have radiotherapy and endocrine therapy to deal with this year and I know that my energy will no doubt dip again. But right now in this moment I am happy and grateful. The epiphany is in the little things, it’s in the everyday things that we used to take for granted, it’s in the ironing!
I appreciate that we are all different and all have different experiences of bc and of life. If you’ve had an epiphany to climb a mountain then fair play to you. I’ll be waving you on from the bottom
Yay! The little things are not things…. They are the web of our lives. Those little strands that make us as unique as a spider web.
I’ll be having cake and tea at the bottom of the mountain, marvelling in the view and the sunsets. Cause why get up so early when you can lay in and see the sunset…
Glimmers. Life is full of magical teeny moments that we get told are mundane.
I love when people get this. It’s rarer than you think. Huge achievement for you today and will help you going forward.
X
Wish I could get so enthusiastic about the chores . I was recovering just after the last lockdown was lifted and there was live music everywhere which I had missed so much over the previous 2 1/2 years … and I still couldn’t go or felt like I couldn’t then after managing to avoid it all that time I went and got COVID and was poorly for another 3 weeks just as I was feeling well enough to finally go back to work . There’s a large open air venue close to my house and I could hear snatches of music from time to time just to rub it in. After that there was no stopping me - I went off to a festival and danced like I wasn’t an overweight 57 year old on hormone blockers . It took a whole month for my knees to forgive me but it was worth it and I’ve seen so many of my idols perform since then and discovered new music as well . I’ve always been a bit unconventional but because of that I was self conscious , always worried what other people thought of me and now I just don’t care because life really is too short . Xx
Oh twinks77 I’m so pleased you’ve had such an amazing ‘epiphany’ ! You could have been writing about me as I’ve been through the same in that it’s only just dawned on me that I have much more energy than I’ve had for months. I’ve been dreading the effects of Anastrazole which I’m sure will kick in soon but so far I’ve been happily cleaning, clearing out, re-arranging and selling ‘unwanted’ clutter. It is definitely a slow dawning that you’re beginning to feel ok again so enjoy it to the full. Best of luck that you’re going to have many more up times ahead xxx
I’m not sure you realise that you are climbing that mountain … dealing with your surgery and chemo, enjoying Christmas, cleaning your bedroom, appreciating the progress you’ve made so far, preparing for the next treatments - you keep on climbing
Hi, Thankyou I love this post ! (History surgery x 2/chemo 6/radio 15/meds diagnosed jan 25). I was so shocked to get a diagnosis, it felt as though the head lights were on at full beam at me when I realised this could be the end with 18 positive lymph nodes! But the treatment has a very high success rate. I got through it practically, one day at a time. Eventually I’ve been able to get back to normal tasks following chemotherapy and the relief came after second surgery when consultant said good results… my epiphany is now.. I’m planning the next year to recover with good habits and a big big shift in priorities…..
