Excrutiating pain on intercourse. Advice please!!!!

After enjoying a very healthy sex life for many years, after starting Tamoxifen 4 weeks ago, I’m in agony when attemtping to have sex. There isn’t any vaginal dryness, its just really sore internally and after sex, is painful for several hours afterwards. Also, after the last time I noticed there was a tiny spot of blood on some tissue. I’m seeing my BCN tomorrow so will mention it to her but would be grateful if anyone can offer me advice or reassurance. I have previously had several abnormal smears and while I think the spot of blood is related to the pain and soreness I can’t help have a niggling doubt it may also be linked to the abnormal smears. Thank you ladies.

Hi Mac123

Whilst you await replies you may find the BCC booklet  ‘Your body, intimacy and sex’ helpful:


Take care

Lucy BCC

I would say even if it all feels normal… The lining of the vagina may still be producing less fluid to lubricate than it would have done before hand so it may be worthwhile trying a water based lubricant… Sometime the menopause or menopausal symptoms also can cause narrowing and loss of stretch which also can make things feel uncomfortable… Again a water based lubricant like glide or yes or silk can help, if they dont help then you can try a vaginal moisturiser like replense and in some cases your doc will give you a course of low dose hormonal pessaries like vagifem.

Do speak about it… Not sure where in the country you are but there are some excellent menopause clinics dotted about and some specifically for menopause after cancer, one in northwick park in london which takes out of area referrals.

Dont suffer in silence


Hi Lulu

Thanks for your reply. I’ve spoken to my BCN today who tells me this is very common and to ask my GP for Vagifem. I’ve spoken to the duty GP not long ago but he won’t prescribe it as it is contra indicated in breast cancer. My BCN said this may happen! The Duty Dr suggested that I speak to my regular GP next week as he thinks she may prescribe it as she knows my history well and is very experienced. Failing that, my BCN suggests Replens. I am in Staffordshire and a menopause clinic sounds good so i’ll see if I can access one locally. Thanks again x

I have been suffering from this for a while but it started before the Tamoxifen. I suggest you might go to your local GUM clinic and get tested for any bacterial infection. Any drug can change the balance in the body.

Hi ladies, my similar experience has finally resulted in Yes, water based lubricant which is totally natural and available on nhs, although I did have to educate my gp.  I  have been reassured that if we have regular intercourse, it does become less painful,  but it really takes some persuading!  Have a read up on Yes compared to others and it ticks all the boxes.  Lol to all xxxxxxx

I have found the YES lubricants fantastic too. I have used the oil based one which makes you feel much more normal down below! Also the water based one that is apparently ideal for intercourse. I had the dubious pleasure of attending a medical menopause meeting recently and they recommended definately seeing a menopause specialist for issues like this as there are lots of different things that can be done to help. Often these may be new innovative ideas or treatments but also a fuller understanding of how we all feel when we are in this horrible position! Also most GP’s do not have the hour needed to discuss our problems!

One bit of advice we were given at this talk was to buy a pot of coconut oil and rub a little bit every day on the sensitive skin in between your vagina and back passage. The idea is to moisturise the skin but also to make us engage with our lady parts again with no pressure! Makes you smell nice too!

The other really useful bit of information I got was the contact details for a company called JoDivine. It is run by a lovely lady called Samantha plus her husband ( he only answers the phone!). She has a nursing background and dealt with lots of ladies with problems relating to pain and loss of desire. She had a great uninhibited chat with me and I felt so liberated afterwards because I had felt like it was just me who felt like this! She does a range of lubricants and wee skinny vibrators and toys with the idea of trying to encourage any kind of physical fun for women who would rather have their nails pulled out slowly than have sex!!!  I bought one called a Slinky Pinky and it is very slim and soft for using to try and wake up a dormant vagina and improve blood supply! Haven’t practised much yet but it is on my “to do” list!

I cannot recommend her highly enough. I cannot say I have a remotely enjoyable sex life yet but at least I feel like I have a plan and some things i can do to help. Good luck and love to all!

ps the BCC info on this area is great.I wish my husband would read it!

Thank you so much for your appreciated advice. It is so good to hear from similar situations with encouraging outcomes. With regard to the coconut oil, sounds a great idea but as I can only use soap free products wonder if would be ok.  Hope we can help one another on ghis invaluable site.  Wishing merry xmas to all xxxxxxxxx