Hi all,
my mum has just been diagnosed with secondary breast cancer in her colon. The secondaries were discovered first so it was quite a shock. My mum was admitted to hospital as an emergency when tests to discover the cause of weight loss went wrong and she had to have emergency surgery on her colon. After being critically ill in ICU she pulled through and they told her they had discovered the secondary BC cells on the sample of colon they removed. My four year old son adores his nanna and has watched her lose drastic amounts of weight, be admitted to hospital and come out looking very frail and weak. Tonight he asked me what nanna has hurt to go to hospital. He has had lots of hospital treatment as a baby and toddler on his foot and he understands that you go to hospital when things are hurt. I answered him by saying that something inside her was hurt but I didn’t know if he grasped that. Any ideas?
mals
Hello Mals,
It is so hard to know what to say to little ones but they are very aware when we are upset so I think it is always best to be as open and honest as you can so that he can share in this time with his Nana and aid her recovery with his love for her. I guess making a card from him may help him understand that his Nana is unwell and that she has a very poorly tummy so the doctors needed to take some of the bad bits away . You could explain it like an apple or pear or banana, anything that you have handy . If the fruit becomes bruised it goes bad and sends the whole fruit into a decay. We know that we have to cut away the bad bit to enable us to enjoy the good bit that is left. Maybe this would help him to understand and have a picture in his little mind.
Sending you all lots of love and healing thoughts Tracy xxx
Thanks Tracy
what brilliant ideas. When my mum came home he asked me to write nanna a note and dictated it for me. He said “Nanna I love you so much”. He took the paper from me and went over to her and gave her the note. It was very moving although my mum was exhausted from the journey home and not sure if she had her head round the fact that they were his chosen words. I like the bruised banana idea and will give it a try.
thanks
Mals
Hi Mals,
Enjoy this time with your Mum, take photos of your Mum and little boy and arrange little treats he can give her every day. You could make something together like some little iced buns or xmas biscuits to keep his mind occupied with what he can do for his Nana. Sometimes children are very wise and seem old beyond their years and people say " he has been here before " so keep him involved. He will have wonderful memories. It is a beautiful sunny morning here in Derbyshire so we are off out for a walk as I cannot cope with Xmas shopping just yet …Love and hugs to you all Tracy x
While the book is BC related, get hold of “mummy’s lump” it does BC well, and I am sure it will at least help you explain things.
Paul.