extremely worried

Hi everyone,
I found what i describe as a bump on the surface of my breast a few weeks back. I decided to wait and see if it was related to my period but it didnt go. I visited my dr on wednesday 18th March and she actually said she wasnt too worried about the bump but she could actually feel a lump, (my nipple of the same breast leaks sometimes too). She said she would do an urgent referral and i have now received my appointment for the nottingham breast institute for next tuesday 31st March.
As you can imagine im getting more worried by the day i have spent the last two nights awake till 3 !!! even had to miss work for the last 2 days. I am trying to be positive and think until im told differently it will be fine but just keep thinking the worse.

How have other people dealt with their anxieties and is what im experiencing ‘normal’ in these situations.
thanks for your replies
nic

Nic - sorry to hear that you are going through this… The waiting for the appointment is one of the worst parts as your mind runs wild… Hope it all goes well for you on Tuesday and that it is good news.

Theresa x

Hi Nic
Completely “normal” feelings - whatever normal is in this sh***y situation!
As Theresa says, the waiting for appts and results is dreadful, we all feel for you. I have found the support, information and chat on these forums great - you have come to the right place. Try not to let your imagination run away with you (I know, easy to say! - SO not easy to do!) If you feel tearful, angry whatever - go with it, I went through a phase of apologising if I got upset - 'cos I didn’t want to upset anyone else! - Rubbish, we can be as selfish as we like right now - it is a tough time. I found I struggled more with work before my appt than afterwards, it is the not knowing that’s hard.

Your GP has done the right thing - she has referred you, the weekend will feel endless, but Tuesday will arrive, and you will get checked out. Have you got someone to go with you? - it’s nice to have company, especially if there is a bit of waiting. (Usually is!)
Anyway, keep in touch if it helps, there is always someone here!

Take care
Lizzy

Hi,

Yes my partner is coming with me, although he has not really spoke about it. I keep ringing for a cancellation, but to be honest who is going to cancel such an important appointment.
I feel terrible about letting my colleagues down but i work in a nursery and really need to be on the ball and with my mind distracted thats not happening.

I think this forum is a great place and i just hope i manage to get some sleep before next Tuesday.

Thanks so much for your comments and i will continue to keep in touch. I just would like to hear about people who have had the same symptoms and how they dealt with it.

THANKYOU

Nic

Hi Nic

A Few weeks ago I was in the same situation you are in, and the waiting is indeed the hardest thing - on the day of my appointment and mammogram I was actually relieved to be going to the hospital! I am now back in the waiting queue as I had a biopsy last week and now have to wait for the results - again, I think I can cope with whatever they tell me (Im obviously keeping everything crossed that I get the all clear) - but either way its the waiting and not knowing that makes it hard to get through the week.

I found the ladies on here absolutely fantastic! and they kept me sane (and continue to do so) … so keep in touch with everyone and talk on here whenever you feel the need.

Take care
Sue x

Hi Sue

Just thought I would drop you a quick post just to say hello. The waiting game is a nightmare as you say crossing everything for you!

I’m coming out to Spain this evening (Riviera del Sol) for a week so hope you can keep the weather nice for me!! (I think rain is on the way)!!

Sue if you ever want to meet up when I am there no prob I can give you my mobile or spanish mobile if you want. I will send you a private message if you let me know.

Anyway take care, try not to worry, I always think things are never as bad as you think they will be.

Love
DebsH
x

Hi Nic,

I was referred to a breast clinic a week ago as a two week referral and am hoping to be seen next week (although the hospital haven’t booked the apt yet as they’re too busy but they have promised I’ll be seen within the two weeks!). I have also been extremely worried and can’t seem to stop prodding at the lump I’ve found or looking for information about it on the internet.

My husband is fed up of me asking him to feel the lump to see if it’s bigger or different - he keeps saying I’ll “make it worse” by checking it so much! I know I shouldn’t worry too much as the doctor said that due to my age the suspicion of cancer is very low. I have been going from convincing myself that it’s definitely cancer and that my whole breast will be taken away, to convincing myself that it’s fine after all and maybe I should just cancel the apt? I have a little boy and all I can think about sometimes is how he would cope if I wasn’t around anymore and that makes me feel really panicky.

My husband isn’t very helpful as he keeps saying he knows it’s fine and telling me to forget about it - I know he’s trying to be positive but he’s not a doctor and I wish he could understand how I feel a bit more instead of trying to reassure me all the time. It’s not really his fault though - it’s just the way he is!

I don’t know if it’s normal to worry so much - I suppose some people just wait for the apt and put it to the back of their minds? I was told that 9 out of 10 lumps seen as a breast clinic are not cancer, so when I get really panicky I focus on that and it makes me feel a bit better.

I hope your apt goes well, lots of luck,

Rosie xx

Hi Rosie, i will be so glad when tuesday is here. My partner really hasnt said a lot i know he is being strong for me. Like you one minute im telling myself its going to be fine, but on the otherhand i am almost preparing myself for the worse. I have been really snappy with my kids (aged 11 and 16) and they keep saying whats up with u ?

What i have learnt from this site is to make sure we get as many investigations as possible to put our minds at ease. My friend went and was given an examination by a dr who told her it felt fine and sent her home. 6 weeks later she was back and they admitted it wasnt fine. I am not meaning to frighten anyone just think we need to make sure we are thoroughly checked and this site shows that most people get fantastic treatment. I will update on Tuesday and i hope that you are fine too. I went to my dr on a wednesday and got my letter with my appointment 2 days later i was very impressed.

Take care i could say try not to worry but you still will just like me.

Nic

Hi everyone on here waiting! - that probably takes in almost all of us!

Nic, Good luck for your appt tomorrow, I’m sure they will do all tests necesary, it will probably feel a bit of a blur - I had a wierd “This is not happening to me” feeling about the whole thing. Like Rosie and yourself - the emotions go from one extreme to the other - the imagination is an extremely powerful tool and we can dream up far worse than what will probably be reality.

Totally daft to say “try not to worry” - we are bound to - but there is loads of support here, whatever results turn out to be - you just know that someone here will understand how you are feeling. However well meaning friends and family are, sometimes they struggle to say the right thing, I’m sure I have probably got it wrong in the past when friends have been in similar situations.

Anyway, take care, be good to yourselves - we deserve lots of cosseting whatever stage we are at!!
LizzyM XX

Hi, thanks for all your replies. I just need it to be tomorrow and at least know what i face. I have found the worse thing has been me being in a grumpy mood and people not understanding why. I have only told a couple of people because i dont want them to think that i’m worrying for nothing. My boss did offer me the whole day off but i think id be better going to work in the morning. Can anyone tell me what its going to be like for my partner which bits will he be with me for.

Thanks a lot

Nic

Hi everyone,

well a huge relief i went for my app and the dr examined me and said i had a small cyst but he wasnt worried and that i could go. I did say that i would like a scan for peace of mind and he agreed. The cyst did show up and the dr doing the scan also said he could see some bruising inside the breast but i must of knocked it. I havent so cant answer y the bruising. I just have to be aware that the cyst may get bigger and if it bothers me they might remove it.

So for me a good result i hope it works out for everyone waiting for their appointments.

I also wish everyone the best and my thoughts are with all of you who are undergoing treatment.

Thanks for all your replies.

Nic