Not sure where to post this really - but here goes. (Mods please remove if not allowed or in the wrong place).
Is anyone going through their cancer treatment all alone (by alone) I mean no family and more or less basically coping with it all alone?
If, so I was wondering how to do keep on track of it all and keep yourself going through the ups and downs and day to day living.
Would really appreciate to hear/read if anyone else is experiencing this.
Many Thanks
Poppy
Hey Poppy,
What made you choose ‘Chat and games’ for such an important and serious post ? (only ribbing you, but it might not get the views you want in this area from like minds - might be worth posting it in another area)
I am so sorry you are so alone, it must be tremendously hard and I can’t even imagine what the answers are. I’ve not experienced the process alone, but didn’t want to read and pass by. I am wondering if any of the local support groups are opening back up yet, I know everything moved online during covid, but that could be an option. ‘Someone like me’ would also be a good choice for you, to talk through with someone on a regular basis you concerns and fears. Of course you have this forum as an option, but I’m sure you feel its only so far that will take you when you need somebody a bit more onhand.
Hoping others come and add their thoughts…
Hi @Anonymous
I am doing this all in my own as well. I have lived alone for 12 years. I have my son of 25 round the corner but as an independent person I find it hard to ask for help or interrupt his life with my problems. I’m going to have to reassess atm because I’m struggling here. I have a neighbour who has decided to harass me, my tooth broke and I feel someone up there really hates me. I’m not managing. I can’t even remember my own name some days.
Yes I have friends who visit and help with lifts and meals but it’s not the same as having someone to hug you in the night when you’re awake again or in pain.
But then again I would hate someone to have to stay over and i’d feel I had to play the host rather than the patient.
No one can win here!!
I make a lot of lists and notes. I write EVERYTHING down so I can’t forget and make calendar notes on my phone.
I try and make sure I talk to a human being every day even if it’s just in Tesco’s Life is shit really but we’ll get through it somehow
Hello Poppi, so sorry to hear you are having to deal with this alone. I too have just been diagnosed. Not sure what my treatment options are yet. I moved to Cornwall a few years ago and have not really got many friends outside of work. I’m sure there’s lots of resources that we are going to be able to link into. Do you have a local group you can join through your cancer treatment centre?
Take care lovely
Angela
Hi Poppy
I love your name, but then I’m biased as that is my Grandaughter’s name lol. It must be difficult for you not having someone close to support you through your Cancer journey, however I’m sure you’ve heard the old adage of ‘feeling all alone in a crowd’ and that’s the position many people who experience Cancer are in.
They may have a supportive family but don’t want to worry them with the truth about their condition; Treatment or how they are really feeling. It took me a full 6 weeks to mention it to my family, and I still can’t really be open about my surgery last Monday, I tell them not to visit in case they bring Covid, but it’s really because I don’t want them to see me so vulnerable.
I do wish I had a good/best friend to talk with, but sadly I lost her just prior to Xmas she having being misdiagnosed by her GP during Covid. Perhaps you have a good friend you could trust and confine in, a work colleague; neighbour or someone in your church? There are so many wonderful people who are in our lives and would feel honoured to support you through this journey
but you need to make that first move and reach out to them, you have much to offer in return, so please be brave to make that first move.
Silver
Hi Poppy
yes I went through all of mine alone. I was diagnosed just as we went into lockdown in March 2020, I live alone and I had to go straight into shielding.
I coped by - doing things online, speaking to my mum every day in the phone (though to be honest, I don’t recommend that my mum sees the worst in everything, it’s like having your own personal Eeyore), setting up weekly zoom calls with friends and family and making myself a project plan for my treatment.
It wasn’t the worst thing. When I was really unwell, I didn’t have to make anyone else a sandwich or apologise for the noises coming from the toilet at 3am.
Find yourself things that will help you, what works for you. Xx