Family arguments

Hi everyone. I was diagnosed at the beginning of jan and have had a mastectomy and just started chemo.
This is obviously such a worrying time and tbh the whole breast cancer thing has really messed with my head.
My partner is fantastic, so supportive and a complete rock. Excuse the cliche!
However I am worried about her and what the future holds. My parents have always hated her, and I mean that. Long story but they will never accept I am in a same sex relationship. We have 3 beautiful children - 2 from a previous relationship. I am an only child and have always been, up until 8 years ago, close to my parents. They are fantastic grandparents and the children are very close to them.
I have always just tried to keep the peace, believing it to be the right thing to do but it hasn’t been, and I see that now. Oh the clarity of thought when faced with your own mortality!
My parents refuse to speak to her at all. I have begged them, argued with them, pleaded, cut them out of my life for months on end, but it has never improved.
I am so scared of what the future holds. My kids need them and need my partner too. I am so worried about what will happen if I die. I just don’t know how to resolve any of this.
Over the past years I have tried to keep everyone happy, and failed. But I need to resolve this somehow for all of us. Any advice would be so gladly received xxx



Your post really struck a chord with me.


The whole breast cancer thing really messed with my head too and my main fear was also that I would die and the effect that would have on others.  (BTW, I am still here, 4 years later). 


My circumstances are different as we do not have children, however, for what it’s worth…  at the time I was diagnosed there were some complications within my blood family (still are) and my husband and I realised that our wills didn’t accurately reflect what we wanted to happen should I die.  There’s so much about cancer over which one has no control but it did make us feel slightly better to, at least, ensure that all the legal stuff was tied up properly.  Just wondered if that is something you need to check? 


This is not meant to sound cold and calculating.  My heart goes out to you regarding the situation with your parents (I don’t get on with mine very well).  I realise that that checking wills and legalities as regards future care of children is not a pleasant task and may be one that you have sensibly addressed already, so, apologies if I’m talking out of turn.  Just thought it might be one practical step you could take to reduce the “head-messing”.


My very best wishes.