I’m about to start chemo. I’m just wondering how chemo will affect my parenting and family life. I’m having EC x3, then docetaxel x3. Masectomy after then radio.
For example, will I be well enough to attend school events, judo competitions and swimming lessons?
On day 2 of my 1st cycle, my boys have got a judo competition. I’m happy to stay home but my husband thinks he can’t leave me…can he?
Will I be able to cook, drive, shop? I know some days I might not be able to do much, but my kids are young and I don’t want to reduce the amount of things they do. Am I being unrealistic? Should I lower my expectations for myself?
Have you any tips for managing the kids and home life duting chemo?
Hello, 33 year old mamma here with a 2 year old.
Just had my second round of chemo on weds and im exhausted!
Everyone is different so just see how the first round goes, if you feel up to going then thats up to you. Dont put pressure on yourself. I think you will be okay left alone for a while ( get some sleep in ) because you will feel really tired.
My side effects hit me more once i started the stomach injections i was sick etc but like i said everyone is different. Write down in a diary daily on how you feel and then you know your good days when you can make plans etc. Best of luck x
Hi - I’ve recently finished the same chemo regime. I found the first couple of days after chemo made me feel tired but otherwise I was able to drive, go shopping etc. when I was at my most vulnerable (usually days 7 to 14 after chemo) I tended to stay at home so I wouldn’t catch anything! But I did continue to work from home throughout. My husband was also cautious about leaving me alone. Make sure you take your temperature twice a day and as long as that is stable you should be OK to be left on your own for periods of time. Some people do struggle with chemo, so you may need to see how the first cycle affects you. I found docetaxel harder than EC as it causes gastric and stomach issues. Hope it goes well for you, Emma x
Thank you @jeml, @idcand49 and @ivy-cat. I will take your advice and keep a log of symptoms and side effects for each day. Maybe juggling family life won’t be too hard. I think i was just worried that my kids would miss out on things due to me feeling ill. Well done to you all on keeping the family going even through this difficult stage of treatment. X
Hi
My advice would be to choose what you really want to do & focus on that. But be kind if you dont feel up to it.
So for me that meant being strong enough to go to school plays / swim comps but being sensible about infections too - sitting near open windows (not easy in a pool) - away from people.
And trading that for a messier house.
My personal view was my children will remember more that i was there for events rather than a clean house lol!!
I really worried my children would miss out too - have a rubbish summer - not have the best mum etc etc
But they haven’t - children are really resilient.
And like my friend said to me - im being the best mum i can at the moment & thats all anyone can ask of us.
And i also tell myself it shouldnt be forever hopefully xx
Agree with all comments. It’s a balancing act and there will days where you feel really well and days where you feel rubbish. On those days mind yourself and rest up. But getting out and about and getting to do the normal things will give you energy too as it is isolating being stuck at home.
I found the AC or EC that you are doing harder than the T. And generally first week is hard and then you feel better by week two. One piece of advice is if you have a symptom whether that is nausea or constipation please contact your chemo contact. They can arrange for more meds to help with whatever symptom you are having. So do use them and don’t wait until things get worse. Also water is your friend is despite it being hard to drink water when you feel poorly do try as it helps everything. I also signed up for all the supports like acupuncture (which really helped) to counselling (also for my partner) and all of these things helped give me a routine of sorts and to prevent the walls coming in on you.
And lastly the thing that I found very helpful was attending those sports days especially if they are outdoors to help give a sense of purpose and enjoyment (where in the past I wouldn’t have been able to, one of the upsides to this!).
The very best to you and hope you get through it all ok.
Thank you @SL255 and @bettyb24. Such reassuring advice. I will try and prioritise their events where I can. Theyve been fantastic so far. Tbh they will probably have more of my time than ever, as I was always at work and could never see their school events or even drop them to school before. Hope you are both feeling well now x
Very well thanks! And yes there are few upsides to getting this awful disease so finding the positives like spending more time with the kids has been nice.
You need to be really careful about exppsong yourself to infection… escpecially around children who gets all sorts of bugs…outside events should be ok…if you caome down with somethings…at best a chemo can be dealyed a week or 2…at worst, it can develop to sepsis…dont take any unnescessary risks …hope all gpes well
So much good advice from the lovely ladies on this forum.
Before your chemo starts fill your freezer with good home cooked food.
Buy yourself The Living Kitchen book from Amazon, it is for those facing cancer, treatments and afterwards. It has loads of tips of what to eat and what to avoid. So many recipes for what to eat for how you are feeling depending on side effects.
I wasn’t able to do much in the house, cooking and cleaning or driving either in the days after EC, however I did get out as much as I could, walking and being taken places by family and friends.
My husband is fantastic and looked after everything household wise. No young kids here mind. We got groceries delivered. The week before the next cycle is due energy returns and is a good opportunity to reset ready for the next round.
Ginger is great for sickness and I wore the seabands that I usually wear for travelling. These helped along with loads of water to flush all the crap out.
Eat only whole foods from the earth
Drink stacks of water
Walk as much as you can as fast as you can, aim for 2x 30 minutes a day. Some days mine was a crawl
If you’re into supplements go with bio curcumin from pharmanord.
Another great book is Breaking the Cancer Code. By Geronimo Rubio. The ginger and bicarbonate hot baths were something I did and enjoyed with music blaring and me singing at the top of my voice as many feel good songs I could. I can’t sing by the way but who cares when you are doing everything in your power to get rid of cancer!
I did yoga, meditation and colour healing every day too
I went off tea and coffee and ended up on green tea and herbal teas, including Pau Darco, matcha and Barley grass.
Oohh. If you are into radical changes then read this,I was lucky enough to meet him, this is astonishing what he managed to do
Sorry if I’ve wittered on too much, enjoy your family time and best of luck with the chemo, stay positive and if you get dark moments/thoughts have a mantra to bring your mindset back to positivity, mine was “I wish I was on Benidorm beach” then I would imagine myself laid there in the sun or at the bar overlooking the sea, it always puts a smile on my face.
It’s 3 years tomorrow since my last chemo and yes I have been back to Benidorm beach and many more beaches around the world since
Thank you @cat15. This is very true and i am aware that i need to minimise the risks of getting an infection. My kids will be starting back at school 4 days after my first EC, so I will need to be careful. Thanks for the advice. Xxx
Thank you @Ahbc21. Lots of brilliant advice here thanks. I will definitely try some of these tips. Hoping that I can get out for a walk or 2 each day. Was going to try and walk my youngest to and from school. Its only 15 minutes each way. I also have some nice public footpath routes nearby. I am a bit of a clean freak, so I’m going to struggle a bit with not being able to hoover as much! Xxx
