Fear of results

I have just been diagnosed with Stage 3 invasive ductal carcinoma with spread to axillary lymph node. I have a ct scan this week to check for spread elsewhere. HER positive. 

I have shoulder and arm pain, I am so scared it has already spread, its driving me deeper and deeper into a dark place. I am struggling to eat and losing weight. 

I know mental wellbeing is key but result waiting is the actual killer. 

I just want to get treatment started because I am obsessing over every pain in my body, has it spread. 

I know that anxiety well and I’m so sorry you are faced with it. It’s crippling. I will say also that in that anxiety your body can lie to you. You have had a biopsy I presume. That underarm pain and arm pain would more than likely be from that rather than spread at this point. Shoot I had underarm pain and breast pain for up to six weeks after mine but they really beat the crap out of it. Half of my breast was bruised and lumpy. And the one thing HER plus breast cancer has that other breast cancers don’t have at this time is herceptin. It’s been a game changer for that type of breast cancer and is considered an immunotherapy. So I guess what I’m saying is no matter what, there’s hope. And just because they’re doing a CT scan doesn’t mean they think your cancer has spread. It’s routine with a stage 3 diagnosis. Most of the time it comes back fine. And don’t hesitate to ask for medication if you need it along with therapy. This diagnosis is life changing and scares all of us. But although it’s a club no one wants to join, you have plenty of company and with that comes plenty of money and research. New medications are coming out every year so no matter what your results end up being there is hope. Hang onto that if you can and if you have questions, need to vent, or just want to write out panic feel free. We all understand and have been there. 

Hey love, not sure if this helps any but I’m pretty much at the same place you are right now. Im 32 and was just diagnosed triple positive with some spread to my lymph nodes. Awaiting all of my scans next week, which is completely crippling and absolutely agonizing. Im trying to remember it is standard with lymph node spread, and it’s rare to be diagnosed with distant spread at initial diagnosis. Doctors are being diligent but it doesn’t mean it’s going to be worst case.
As it was stated below, anxiety does crazy things to us. My brain is going crazy with every minor ache. We will have answers soon. We will have care. You are loved and it’s going to be okay. Reach out if you want to vent or talk, I am 100% where you are.
Wishing you all the best