Well now I’ve told my family and close friends. Experienced a mix of reactions. Shock and tears from some; “what a pickle we’re in” from my parents (dad has prostrate with secondaries so was concerned about telling him needn’t have been); suffocation “we’ll be there for you etc etc”; my daughter (14) was amazing and went and got breast cancer leaflets she’d had a school; my son (21) needing space; my husband being angry at the slightest thing.
But me …
I feel nothing, its all just words, I’m fit healthy capable and so this feels like I’m a fraud.
I am sure your fellow forum users will be along soon to share their own experiences with you, but in the meantime I have put for you below the link to a couple of BCC’s publications you and your family might find helpful. Also the link to the area of this website where being newly diagnosed is discussed further.
Hi Storm, yes it’s pefrectly understandable. Unlike a lot of ladies I had no lump and was caught by screening, thank god now, but until the recall and the sickening realisation where I was headed, was fit, overall healthy, and no obvious external signs of the little beast inside. so you are not absolutely not a fraud, far from it, so be kind to yourself and I know it’s horrible but you do have to ,a certain degree, go with the feelings. Please use the forum, there are much wiser ladies on here than me and those who are a lot further down the track than
us…and all together we wil get through this…love and hugs x x x x
I know exactly how you feel. After my diagnosis I had the odd feeling that they’d made a mistake and actually there was-nothing wrong with me. Even after the biopsy showed Grade 3 DCIS. i still couldn’t believe it was true All seems surreal. I just carried on as normal and had my op on 10 Feb (my birthday!). However, ii’ve had some not so good days since then and been very emotional. I tell my husband I have booby brain! He’s been so supportive and my daughter but once it sank in, it’s been hard. You will eventually start to feel it all so don’t be surprised if you become a bit mad! Not sure how I feel about people’s sympathy and flowers etc. if ever you need to chat, i’m here.
I definitely feel a fraud. I am feeling fine now and am having an op and treatment that will probably make me ill. I really don’t know what to do with myself at the moment. I am used to being the person who is relied on and it’s very strange feeling I’m going to need help myself.
Yup, I feel a fraud but sort of in reverse. When I was diagnosed I read all the leaflets, did a gazillion google searches etc and kept reading this ‘life changing’ thing that was happening to me and worried about what those changes would be and just how bad it was going to get. It was one of the few times I wished I didn’t have so much imagination! Although I didn’t have any public meltdowns I did have more than a few sleepless, teary nights as I worried about whether it had spread, how I would cope with the treatments, all the practical things around keeping my life running through what could potentially be a long illness.
I was/am one of the lucky ones though in that the WLE/lymph node surgery got it all out in one go, no sign of spread to the nodes so I don’t need any more surgery or any chemo. Now it’s three weeks after surgery I feel completely well and have my normal energy levels back so I feel a bit of a fraud when I have to tell people that I have/I had cancer as they assume I must have been through a nightmare and it hasn’t been all that bad.
Sorry to be a bit rambling, but what I’m trying to say is that it is difficult to know what to think and therefore what to feel until you know what it is that you are dealing with which you won’t know until after the surgery is done and you find out what the rest of your journey looks like. I hope you are also one of the lucky ones and wish you all the luck in the world with your operation and recovery.
Hi , i felt exactly the same as you. I was diagnosed last October and didnt really react as i felt so well. I just carried on as normal really. told my family but was really calm and didnt want any fuss.
I had the lumpectomy and lymph node removal and have recently finished radiotherapy and have now started taking tamoxifen but still do not feel like i have had cancer .
I wonder if it just hasnt hit me yet or its my way of coping by pretending its happened to someone else, I helped nurse my Dad through teminal prostrate cancer and when i lost him 17 months ago my partner then had to have his leg amputated so i just transferred the caring from my Dad to him…
Your not alone in feeling like you do, whatever the reason, we all react differently. xx
Yes, completely feel like this, although … had surgery on 12th Feb and am now realising that the results appointment might not be as straight forward as I thought it would be. Also, will be on drugs for at least 5 years, and have a lifetime risk of lymphoedema, so not quite the, “I’ll be better by September” message I took from my first appointment. Decisions have had to be made so fast, that this week after surgery has been a chance to process a lot. Also, massively bunged up so not enjoying that!!!
Hi Like others I feel like a fraud as I feel fine after the lumpectomy & lymph node removal last Friday. 2 friends came to see me today and were surprised to see me looking so well. Hubby went away to work today, so will be spending the night alone. He’ll be back tomorrow evening. Have to go back for results appointment on Fri 6 March.
Welcome to the BCC forums where I am sure your fellow users will share and understand your feelings at the moment, our helpliners are also on hand with further practical and emotional support so please feel free to call 0808 800 6000 weekdays 9-5 and 10-2 Saturdays
Here’s a link to further support ideas and treatments information which I hope you will find helpful: