Feel a fraud.......

Hi, Still waiting for my pathology results appointment… Nearly 3 week post surgery. Trying to stay calm and patient… But every day that passes and no letter in the post is making me feel more sick with anticipation of not knowing. I know they’re the experts, but can’t stop thinking I should be taking or doing something more?!


Aside from feeling sore and tender, I feel a fraud having been signed off work for 6 weeks (as well as my first week off self certified). People, friends colleagues, who see me out walking, at the shop, out for coffee comment on “how well I look!”… Should I stay in? Only go out in the dark? How should 'I look!?!..  Beating myself up about being off work. Worrying if I have this time off and need more for further treatment!? Then comes the worry of sick pay ending. Hoping I can go back work in between stages. 


Sorry for being a moan…but typing on here is helping me get it all out!  I have a very supportive husband and I don’t want to bring him down by all my inner negativity! Xxx Tina 

That waiting drives you nuts…hate it…that feeling of waiting for the postman,then nothing happens.

I suggest you call the  BCN…just to ask when you would hear.Have done that on a few occasions,or the consultants secretary .It is comforting to know you are still on the computer,in the system. …you can hear them tapping away on it…and you will feel better…trust me!!!

Hi Tina

have they not even given you an appointment yet to go back and discuss results? I would call if I were you, they should definitely be back by now. Mine were back after a week, though it was another week until they were discussed at the MDT.


Regarding people saying you look well, my sister, who had bowel cancer last year warned me that this would happen and it is soooo true. Like you said, it makes you wonder what people expect you to look like!! Though when my sister mentioned it, I had a guilty feeling that I had said it to her several times too, I think it is partly because you want to help them, feel good about themselves and most times she did look great too!!


Hang on in there with the waiting, it’s been said so many times but it really is the hardest part. Hope you get some answers soon.



Yep,you should only go out under cover of darkness or put some make up on to make your self look ill, that’s what cancer patients look like apparently … What people can’t see is the emotional sledgehammer impact this has on you ,no matter how you are feeling physically you are treading water emotionally.Do not feel guilty for being off work ,this is a major life event that takes it’s toll on you physically and mentally.Start hassling for you results appointment , 3 weeks is too long.

Hi Tina, I’m two weeks post op now and have an appt with consultant on the 2nd but rang the breast care nurse yesterday and she told me my results over the phone. Maybe you could try? I’m not sure what the policies are in each area but it’s cruel to keep you hanging on! … Good luck xx lesley x

Tina that’s an awful wait for you, I can’t believe you don’t even have a date for results even if it’s not just yet, I was told on the day of my op when I would be going back and had a letter a couple of days later confirming, mine was 13 days after, I would be ringing up every day until I got an answer, it’s totally unacceptable to do this to you Xx Jo 

We have our apps on the same day! Good luck with yours, let me know how you get on. I’m new to this forum but have found all the reading very helpful! Take care - lesley x

Good that you have an appointment now Tina.Good luck to you and Les.